I am VendorZilla. Do Not Mess With My House!

[VendorZilla]

It's an Art Deco 'palace'.
For the photos, I made sure everything was absolutely perfect, spotless, neat (even inside all the cupboards that are within my control). I ironed all the beds and vacuumed all the curtains. The cars were tidied on the driveway and the footpaths have all been washed. Bushes are trimmed, weeds dug up, beds covered in matting and bark to keep it smart. The treehouse has been swept, the swings have been wiped with Dettol wipes and the slide has been polished. We are about to go live online, as soon as the descriptions and photos have been approved.
How the hell do I keep it perfect for viewings? It's killing me!

Been there, done that, have the t-shirt! It nearly killed me! I wouldn't even allow my husband to have a poo even hours before a viewing! Did it work? Probably not. It took ages to sell (slow market and overpriced) and the vendors of everything we viewed had made nowhere near the effort (or any at all) and we still made offers. It becomes an obsession though. I wouldn't allow a viewing until I'd done the whole cleaning process from top to bottom, fresh flowers, candles, lawn mowed. Looking back, it was ridiculous :)

We had an open day, which involves much preparation, movement of objects to uninspected locations. I paid a cleaning company to come in prior!

Now some viewers want to start coming for a second look and things have slipped!!!!!!

I'm a viewings person and I hate to tell you but I'm not convinced that keeping your house super tidy is necessary. Obviously it does need to be reasonably tidy but a few signs of family life won't make any difference. People are put off by lack of cleaning though.

Well, I literally made our house a show home and moved out!! My husband, two kids and I all moved into my mothers house for the 4 weeks it took to sell.

Yes it was a huge gamble, but we sold it for silly money(!) so no regrets here.

I think when I was viewing, I didn't care about it being a show home either. Clean, reasonably tidy and reasonably de-cluttered so that i can see the size and shape of the rooms.

I cared more about how much work I would need to do to get it looking like somewhere I'd want to live (and how much this would cost me to do). So red patterned carpets and textured wallpaper throughout would scream new flooring and replastering throughout (£££) and I'd put in into the 'fixer upper without structural work' category. Whereas somewhere with neutral flooring in decent nick with nice flat walls would go into the 'needs a bit of a paint' category (much cheaper). This mostly had an effect on how much we were willing to pay for a house (and whether we considered the asking price ludicrous).

We found that asking prices in our area seemed to be the same, regardless whether the house was a nightmare of pub-style carpeting and anaglypta or whether it reflected more contemporary norms of 'OK to live with'. Actually, in many cases the price stayed the same even though it also had a kitchen last updated in the 1970s (and not the stylishly retro kind; the your nan's house kind), etc.

Whether someone's bed sheets were perfectly flat really didn't come into it.

Yes yes done it all - well not the ironing - I do't know how to do that.
Then the people booked to view cancel at the last minute!
Or just don't even turn up.
No it is not just half an hour of my life wasted but perhaps a whole day when there are 3 kids that live here and the WM is normally going 24/7.
Whilst my house was up for sale my bathroom was cleaner than....

We put everything in storage, toys put away, everything immaculately, suspiciously spotless and minimalist. Got an offer, accepted. Buyer turned up unannounced one evening to measure up and there were toys over every inch of floor. Seriously it was like an obstacle course for the poor bloke. Still he bought the house anyway. Suspect he wasn't a clean and tidy type himself thank god!

Well, that's that. Photos approved. Contract signed.
The open days are booked - one weekday evening and one weekend afternoon. EA thinks it will get a lot of bookings because he posted one photo in the local rag and had a lot of bites. I have NO idea what a lot is, though. It could be three. He keeps reiterating the 'uniqueness' of the house...

I think half our possessions are now in storage.

Thanks for the heads up impecuniousmarmoset - I'll tell EA I'll not allow anyone in without a booking through him, even if we're under offer.

I'm off to wash the shed roof and try to evict Aragog without pooing my pants.

Yes it was really quite odd - though hard to not let him in as he only lived round the corner. He sat on our sofa with his girlfriend for aaages and it was incredibly awkward. She (who wasn't part of the buying process) and I chit-chatted while he just sat there. There was obviously something he wanted to ask but never quite got it out!!! But in other respects he was an ACE buyer though - didn't ask for any money off after survey even though he probably should have done - so we happily put up with him being a bit socially challenged!

Good luck:)