Do you/ would you live in a rural location with dc after living in city?

[Wiggy29]

We're thinking of making the move (dc are nearly 10 and under 1), but several people have voiced concern that older dc may struggle (more than just the usual moving school etc) with iving somewhere so remote.

The place we are considering has only one pub and one shop, but it's only a fifteen minute walk (very short distance by car/ bike) to a slightly larger area that has a park/ buses (every ten minutes) into city centre. There is also a scouts etc in different (but local) nearby village.

At the moment, older dc loves the idea (bigger house, huge garden, amazing countryside to explore), but will he resent the move when he's a teenager? Although we currently live in the city, he still has to travel by bus to get to local pool/ cinema etc and even his friends from school live (when he's old to do it alone) a fifteen minute bike ride away... so will it really be so different? Or would it be a selfish move?

You have to weigh up all the pros against all the cons. If it's the best move for all your family overall, then it's not selfish.

All that said, I love the fact that my dc (eldest not 17, youngest now12) can get to everywhere they want / need to go by foot, bike, bus, train or with lifts from other people that don't inconvenience them because they are passing. My sister moved a 20+min drive away when hers were in Junior school, and, although the house is absolutely lovely, it's been a real commitment in getting her dc to where they need to be, as the public transport is just useless where they are, and it's too far to walk or cycle. She'd thought about the 10 - 14 yrs, but not realised she'd still be picking her 17 yr old from her part time job, etc.

You know about teenagers, right? They resent everything! This area doesn't sound so different from where I grew up, and I did have to get the bus to see my friends, and very rarely went to the cinema, and it was fine. I learned to enjoy other things... Like riding my bike, walking in the country. And I learned to drive the minute I was able to, whereas my friends in town remained dependent on their parents for much longer. It will take all of you some getting used to, but it's not worse... Just different.

Mmmm yeh, I never really thought about that part of it (unless when he's 17 he happens to get part time job in the one local shop or pub)! Gosh, really tough. The hardest part is that I imagine some issues won't come to light until we actually do it (and may not even be the ones we'd worried about), but likewise, it's hard hankering after a more rural lifestyle for years and being in a position to afford it (finally), but then not making that move. Choices, choices...

We moved from tiny village (one church, one pub, village primary) to the edge of a market town. I now love the fact we have
shops within walking distance
eateries within walking distance
library within walking distance
coffee shop within walking distance

a railway station within walking distance, which leads to
London/Cambridge and others within walking distance (IYSWIM)
Cinema within walking distance
Theatres etc within walking distance
Plenty of options for DCs when older to get Saturday work
Plenty of options for DCs when older to meet friends without requiring a life

Everyone is friendlier and less judgy. And less nosy.

I had a ideal picture of village life. Then I lived it.

Then I hated it.

I would never go so small again.

BUT that is my experience.

Urgh, some good points. The place you moved to (market town), sounds like the other location that we're considering, it's just that our house would be half the size and an ugly modern (ish) house not a lovely old building. By smaller, I mean to the point where it would probably feel like we were squashed in, esp as we're hoping for a dc3!

We moved from a large city where teens being shot was fairly commonplace to a market town a few years back. Best move we could have made all round for us, anyway. Ours are still at infants but there's so much for them to do and everyone knows everyone. Which I figure can only be a good thing when they're older and up to no good.

(Just to add that some of the coolest friends I have grew up in the absolute arse end of nowhere.)

Really unsure what to do, was looking more closely and the buses from what would be our v.small village actually only run every 90mins, but from the nearest village every ten. I actually did the whole route from (what would be) our village to the nearest one on Google maps and would be happy for dc to bike it from about 10/11.

We went from 5 bed detached (with small - no - teeny garden) to 3 bed semi with mahoosive garden. Occasionally I miss having a spare room for guests. But I do not regret it one bit. But one reason for not liking the village thing is my DH is quite shy & private and does not like getting involved in villagy stuff with the village chaps - but felt obliged to when asked. (People like him - he doesn't like people IYSWIM )
I am fairly similar - but not quite so much so as DH

So village life did not suit us - so we had reason to move away (main reason was schools though) - and found plenty of positives in the bigger town. But I have friends in the village who finds it suits them perfectly - so please - I am just sharing my experience.

I was brought up in a lovely little village and I thought it was great BUT I did have to rely on my parents to take me to things in the evening, as a consequence I didn't go out much. Our village was bigger, we had a railway station, very few buses (I never actually caught one from there and we lived there nearly all my life) a post office, shop, drs, bakery/cafe, hairdressers, golf club, brownies/scouts and a little chemists. next nearest place was 3 miles away.

It never really bothered me not going out much, I actually liked my lifestyle there but I hadn't really known any different.

I would perhaps look for a slightly bigger village.

Ah, I fear you may all be right. Going to have to sit down and have a long chat with dp again and really try and work it out. DP is super laid-back though and would probably agree to anything so I'd really have to think about what's best for the WHOLE family.

I'm wondering about possibly moving there until ds is 13, that would allow us a good few years and would match with when I'd prob go back to work full-time (dc2 would be back to school full time) so pay rise too. Although it would seem very cruel to shift ds aged 13, there are bigger nearby villages (that we don't like as much) that we could move to that would mean ds could go to the same secondary? But that would only be if he really hated where we lived.

We moved here, edge of largish village in a very rural area when DS1 was starting Y10 and DS2 Y6. The secondary school is on the other side of the village which was a big factor in choosing this house over something more isolated (my first choice). DS1 was very resistant to the move but within 6 months said it felt like home and had come round. The miles of mountain biking trails helped. DS2 suddenly discovered the freedom of being allowed out to play (children calling for him by the second day of school) and sort of went semi feral! The woods were calling and they'd disappear for hours. It was far more of a problem for me, learning to let go a bit after living in a city. It has been a brilliant move for them both, they both got so much more freedom and now in their later teens etc they have got to grips with a bus timetable and are pretty self reliant.

I HATED being a teenager in a village. My parents had to drive me everwhere once I was old enough to go out abd socialise with friends. So it's worth thinking about how you would feel being a taxi service!

However, now i'm married and hoping for children I can see all the wonderful benefits of village life and how very lucky i was. I would hate the thought of living in a town with children but I suppose I'm a real country mouse now. It's a big change and there are pros and cons. I would favour a bigger village/small town which has good transport links to the city.

I grew up in the arse end of nowhere (definition: no public transport, no shop, no friends and no pub within walking distance). Yes, it was dull as when I was a teenager, but as soon as I learnt to drive - woohoo! Since then I've always loved returning to my parents house. I don't recall them providing much of a taxi service, to be honest. If I went to stay with friends it tended to be for whole weekends. (Though I was at boarding school, so no local friends anyway). You don't have to be an on-demand taxi for your children - socialising and organised clubs aren't the only forms of entertainment/activity!

Its your house and, if this house is potentially a forever home, then b*gger the kids. Its a few years of inconvenience, whereas your house could be for the rest of your life.

Another upside is that there are no street corners for your DC to drink on. You'll know that when they are underage drinking, they're likely to be doing so in the relative safety of someone's house.

Mmmm, I've since spoke to a woman who lives in village we're thinking of moving to (she owns deli there) and has raised two children there (one is same age as my son, the other past teenage years) and she said both love it. All kids play together and actually, bus service is much better than I thought, 3 times an hour and only 20 mins to big city. Also, free school bus provided to local schools. Starting to sound very appealing again...