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Original poster

Moral Dilemma.

40 replies

msmorgan · 11/09/2013 12:19

We viewed a house at the weekend which I love, Dp likes it (very rare!) and it is perfect location wise. We have viewed 4 other houses in the same street over the last few years so we have a good idea of what it is worth.

The lady selling is lovely, she has given me her mobile number so I can call her direct to arrange any more viewings and she told me she would love to sell the house to us. Another family put an offer straight in on Monday and there are quite a few other viewings already booked in.

I am annoyed at Dp, instead of putting an offer straight in on Monday, as promised, he has instead wasted time getting building quotes (we would want to extend) and yesterday spoke to the owner of the estate agency to find out how much the other offer is.

The estate agent has told him how much the other offer is and that he will call him back on Monday to tell him how much to offer, after the other viewings and any other potential offers. If feel this is morally wrong and I want us to put what I think is a good offer straight in. We have lost out on a couple of other houses due to dp messing about.

What would others do?

OP posts:
cq · 11/09/2013 12:21

I would put an offer in today and ask for an answer before the weekend. If the offer's accepted then all other viewings can be cancelled and the property taken off the market. If its a realistic price.

bundaberg · 11/09/2013 12:23

i would put an offer in now. if it's rejected you can always up it!

EachAndEveryHighway · 11/09/2013 12:25

It may be that the owner of the house has told the estate agent that she wants you to have it, and that's why the estate agent is bending over backwards to help.

So .... could work out well for everyone else - lady sells to who she wants to, and agent gets the best possible price.

The only thing is ... you may still get it if you put in a lower offer, if lady is so keen to sell to you personally. As you say though ... the longer your dp messes around, the more likely it is that lady and estate agents will lose patience if there is a lot of interest in the house.

Give him a kick up the arse and impress upon him the urgency of the situation and the need to move fast.

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 12:29

I should add, the reason the estate agency owner is being helpful is that he knows my dp and his dad personally and so is basically giving him inside info. Which I know could be beneficial to us but I'm not happy with the waiting to put an offer in, and I feel it is morally wrong.

I would far rather go straight in with a fairly high offer in the hope that the seller accepts it and takes it off the market. With the amount of interest there has been I'm not sure she will do that though. We have been looking for 5 years and I just want to get moved!! Could kill dp!

OP posts:
steppemum · 11/09/2013 12:36

I would put in an offer, you can always up it, but if seller accepts another offer in the meantime you have lost your house.

Bowlersarm · 11/09/2013 12:45

I'm not sure i entirely understand why you think what you are doing is wrong.

Is it that, you know you would like to offer but aren't ready to yet?

I don't think it's morally wrong because the vendor can always turn your offer down and run with the other one. Also there is nothing to stop someone who has viewed a propery even months ago, putting in an offer on a property that is still for sale. The Estate Agents are obligated to put all offers forward.

The danger is that if you delay, even if you put in a higher offer, some vendors will stick with the original buyers if they like them/it's progressing well/their time scale for moving dates fit in etc. Of course lots of vendors would take the higher offer, but it is a risk you take if you don't offer quickly.

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 12:58

I want to put an offer straight in, an offer that is probably slightly more than the house is worth but that would hopefully mean we got the house.

My Dp though is wanting to wait, on the advice of the estate agent, until next week as the estate agent has told him he will ring him then to let him know how much the highest offer is so we can bid higher, or match it if our position is better.

I think this is morally wrong of the estate agent, although I'm not surprised. My preference is just to put our offer in and hope the seller accepts it and stops marketing the property. Dp would rather wait it out in the hope of getting it for less than what I want to offer.

OP posts:
50shadesofmeh · 11/09/2013 13:00

You aren't doing anything wrong the estate agent is playing you and the other potential buyer off each other, that's what they do to get the most money for their clients.
If you want house get in with an offer ASAP or the lady will think you aren't interested and agree to the other offer.

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:00

Sorry, what I find morally wrong is what the estate agent and my dp are doing. I thought estate agents are supposed to act in the sellers interests.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 11/09/2013 13:01

Oh I see. Well then yes. Although it is the Estate Agent who is morally wrong, rather than you, as he should be working on behalf of the vendor, not one particular purchaser (you!)

Bowlersarm · 11/09/2013 13:01

Xpost, yes I agree OP.

Bowlersarm · 11/09/2013 13:03

I think you should offer. You can always go up if it's too low. Are you in a position to proceed ie under offer or nothing to sell?

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:06

Thanks for the replies. It confirms what I feel we should do, which is just put in a good offer and hope for the best. I don't want the lady to feel as though we are messing about. The house has only been for sale since last Thursday but has had a lot of interest as it is price competitively.

What the estate agent is proposing is that we delay offering until next week, he tells us what the highest offer they have had is so we can outbid it. He's a friend of dp's dad so I don't think he would play us off. I'm just not happy doing this, even if it did mean we got it for less.

OP posts:
Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:08

I have told my dp to put an offer in today or I will do it myself. Lower than what we planned to offer as we have been told the other offer is just for asking price, and from a family in a chain. We are chain free cash buyers.

OP posts:
50shadesofmeh · 11/09/2013 13:19

Yeah but the estate agent will likely tell the other buyer what your counter offer is to try bid them up too.

50shadesofmeh · 11/09/2013 13:20

Ah just read your other post so the estate agent is probably being a bit amoral but at the end of the day it's the vendor who will make her decision.

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:24

This is what I've said to Dp. Whatever the estate agent says, it is ultimately up to the vendor and I honestly think if we put a good offer in she will accept it. I don't care if its a few thousand more than we could have perhaps got it for. We'd never know so its irrelevant. I am furious at Dp for messing about.

OP posts:
pinkje · 11/09/2013 13:27

immoral ? is the estate agent not being criminal ? shocked that they are openly suggesting they'll give you the best offer so you can outbid.

pinkje · 11/09/2013 13:27

meant to add - hope it is not the house I've got my eye on!

MamaMary · 11/09/2013 13:29

I agree with you that you need to be straight with the vendor and give a good, honest offer.

However I wouldn't trust the estate agent to be working in your interest (or anyone's except their own own.)

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:30

I did wonder if it's illegal as well as immoral! I'm not surprised at all though.

Dp and his dad are surveyors, they know a lot of builders and estate agents in our area and it is seemingly common practice for the estates agents to let builders and property investors (dp's dad for example) know when a potential good buy comes on the market and then give inside info.

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 11/09/2013 13:30

Stop treating your P like he is the almighty and realise that you don't need his permission to do anything unless the money is joint, of course.

It does sound like the EA is not acting professionally and like your DP is taking advantage of the relationship with the EA and of the fact the vendor is older and wants to sell to you. Don't take advantage.

Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:32

I don't trust the estate agent either. I just want to get an offer in and do it fairly.

OP posts:
Original poster
msmorgan · 11/09/2013 13:35

I am on the verge of just putting the offer in myself but we have argued for days about this and I know if do this dp will sulk for god knows how long. Also would be going against what the estate agent has advised. I think I'd perhaps put the offer in then text the seller to let her know in case the EA ignores me due to his agreement with dp. So angry about this.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 11/09/2013 13:43

the agent is breaking the law, I believe, by telling you what the other offer is.

put yours in - but with an agent like this, don't be surprised if you then get gazumped.