We were building over a manhole cover, so now we've moved the side wall slightly so we're not
You had to as you cannot "build over manhole covers", you would have to have an access hatch, move the manhole, with the water board approval, so he was right to be concerned, who suggested building over it?
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We were going to change the roof of the existing single storey extension from a flat roof to a sloping roof, but we're not now
What effect would that have on him?
why was he worried?
. The dormer window was too close to his roof, so we've moved it further away
Well depending how the roof was joined, that could be a concern,
We'll be knocking into the party wall, and he is concerned we may cause damage. But in fact the wall is a double wall with cavity, so we don't even touch his wall (all being well!)
this is why party wall is there, it can and does have an effect,
He's not bothered about sound insulation or the building work
It part of building regs, so it has to be addressed, I would go far and beyond anything building regs suggests, when it comes to insulation and soundproofing.
He's just retired, and is planning to do building work himself
super important that you both have clear guidance and control then.
He's also quizzed us a lot about how we can afford to buy the house and do the work. It's a three-bed semi in a cheaper area that needed a lot of work. (Anyone who bought it would be looking to extend, as that is what everyone along the road is doing.)
This is really his main concern, I think. He feels we are getting above our station, perhaps - but he couldn't object on those grounds. His house is actually his parents' old house. He moved back there when they died, so financially he's in a much better position than us anyway, and has a load more space per person!
This is some of the reason he is finding it hard, humans find change hard, especially when it is forced on them
Since we bought the house, a neighbour told me he sweeps his drive, and empties the rubbish over the hedge into his other neighbour's garden she's a widow who's lovely. In fact, when I mention him to other people in the village, he seems to have a bit of a reputation. I think his aim is for us to spend as much money as possible... but I guess we just have to suck it up. We're still nice and friendly to him, but I don't really like him shouting and swearing at me
I empty my leaves up and pruning and dump them over my neighbour wall, her compost is on the other side,she does the same to me lower down the gardens, I also throw buckets of slugs and snails over another neighbours wall every day, his ducks love it, but passersby(on popular footpath) often rase eyebrows when they see us actively trowing slugs and snails over, they can't see the ducks and chickens below.
He shouldn't behave the way he has towards you,
We avoid these things happening before we start builds, by having meeting(as many as it takes) with any local residents or neighbours, to discuss and address their worries.
We put a huge effort to forward planning diplomacy because it can end up costing a lot of money if you don't, the client (yourself) has to live in the community after the build, deeply unpleasant if there has been problems, and we feel we have a greater obligation to all who are effected by the build.
If there is any way you can take a step back, offer a reconciliation, find a way to get back on friendly working terms, invite him for lunch, I would do everything in your power to get back to friendly terms,one for a stress free life, and it will save you a lot of money.
I suspect the manhole cover will have unnerved him, it would be a massive red flag for me if I caught someone planning that, coupled together with the roof and dormer, he probably feels on high alert.
who ever is advising you, need to think about the bigger picture, unless you have money to burn.