Move for more space or stay in tiny flat for good secondary school

[Surething]

Hi there,

Wondering if you could help me decide what to do. I've been living in a tiny very cramped 2 bed flat for about 9 years now with my DP and 2 DSs 12months and 6. My eldest is happy at primary school here and there's an excellent secondary school (has been consistently good for many years) locally that most of the children tend to transfer to.

We are very cramped at the moment but cant afford anything bigger in the area we live. Would it be best to try and move now to somewhere bigger with an ok secondary school (ds1 has 4 years before secondary school anyway) but breaking existing friendships and community links we've built up, or, would it be best to grin and bear it until the dc finish schooling. I would welcome your experiences of your children having to make new friends etc. Thanks,

I moved my oldest child to a new school in Y2 and it was fine but she is quite gregarious and confident. In your shoes, I'd probably stay put until your elder son is at the secondary svhool and then move assuming your younger son will get sibling priority. I do think finding a good school is more stressful yhan living in a small flat.

I would stay and try declutter what you currently have to be more comfortable? Its amazing how much better a small space feels with less furniture. we're currently a family of four and have bought a small two bed house which is just over 500 sq ft in size. We have got rid of so much stuff/furniture! I would be very loathed to leave a school where Dc is currently happy.

I would move

Personally, I would stay where you are. We are in a very small 3 bed and there are 5 of us. We've talked endlessly about moving somewhere cheaper and getting more house for our money, but the dc love their very good school and have many friends in the area. I feel we are very much part of our community too. We have decided that being cramped in a small house is a small price to pay to live in a great area with great schools. I know what you mean though, it can get you down, particularly in the winter!

As it happens secondary schools are my worry too, and I would happily be in your position i.e. small flat, good school. Wait until DS1 is in secondary.

I would stay put for place in a good secondary, those are v.hard to find

I would stay put too, but it is you living in the cramped flat on a day to day basis.

To answer your other question, my eldest moved schools after the first term of year 3, and she made friends fine and is very happy. She seemed happy in the first term of the move but claimed to be feeling wobbly. When there was a class change last September at the beginning of Y4 she was no longer the new girl and said she really liked it. So for my daughter, who is a sociable character it took two terms but wasn't too painful a transition.
Obviously it depends on your son's personality and the new school.

Thanks for the replies. We'll probably see if we can manage as we are for a bit longer.

I would probably move. A school can change so much in that length of time.

Depends. How tiny is your flat? Can you extend in some way?
What is the alternative in terms of areas and schools?

Hi Vess,
The flat is purpose built so limited scope for extension. There are some reasonably priced ok areas locally which would also be convenient for work. However, the Secondary schools are pretty dire, at the moment, hence the much lower cost. There's a Grammar not too far away but it's too early to tell whether my dd would be suitable.

I wouldn't move to an area with dire secondaries, personally. Is a longer commute a possibility?
Re: moving kids and friendships, the younger the better. We had to move when DS was in Y5 and it made him very unhappy. He is now in Y8, we are discussing whether to move for more space/better commute, and he point blank refuses to move. His sister, who is in Y3, is a lot more open to it, even though she is happy and settled at school.

If you like your area and decide to stay, I agree with the other posters - de-clutter ruthlessly. With kids, you always end up drowning in stuff they played with once or twice and then forgot. Get rid of it. Give the kids the bigger of the two bedrooms and put all their stuff there.
Have a look at some interior design books for small spaces - it could be inspiring. I like 'Small Spaces' by Terence Conran.

Do you have a park nearby, where local kids regularly play? Playing in the park with friends is way more fun than playing on your own in the garden.

I had to move schools at 14 and it was very traumatic I agree with the PP who said the earlier, the better for moving schools.

When is your DD starting secondary school, 11? It's true that the school may go downhill before then, but you've still got a few years to monitor the situation.

IMO, you should stay put and get dejunking