Feeling sick about my whole plan of moving, but have thought of it for the last 4 years – pls ensure me it is OK

[littlecrystal]

I need somebody to validate my reasons for moving, while DH thinks I am mad though agrees to move if that makes me happy.

I live in ?up and coming? SE bit, nice cul de sac, near a park, train station, super convenient location, period 2 bed property, the space and layout and works for us excellently. I have lived here for almost 4 years.
I love it as my home but don?t love as a house, i.e. the structure itself, I always worry it is going to move (neighbour?s house underpinned), the floors are wonky, the walls not straight, I overworry about every crack, damp patch, sagged floor, I am not likely to have the money for restoring chimneys or extend to the loft, basically it needs lots of money to restore to the modern standard and that money I don?t have. I feel I am just not suitable for an old house. Many people live like that and worse and do not worry a bit, and I am always anxious about my house though I cannot put my finger what exactly is wrong. Esthetically it is nice.
In addition secondary schools in the area are not great even though my DC are 5 and 2 only, but I already worry about this, too. As you can see, I am a worrier!

I found a nice ?posh? area between Croydon and Bromley, a total suburb, 1m from a train station, zone 5, where I can afford a small 3 bed townhouse, open plan kitchen/diner/living room, 3 bedrooms, downstairs cloakroom, upstairs bathroom, small garden, a garage. In a good proximity of 1-2 secondary schools (that have always been good ? I know schools can change). It is of good building standard so my ?structural? worries would be gone. But I worry that I will be tucked away from the buzz, no one will walk 1 mile to visit me (from the station), we will need to use a car more often, open plan living space may not work for us (but it is for better schools, too).

I also worry that once I move there will be no way back as period properties tend to increase in value more than town houses.

I have been going about this move forth and back for the last 4 years, decided to stay where I am, decided to move, changed my mind 100 times.. my mind is never in peace.

Any sound advice would be appreciated (after I poured my heart out).

Not much wisdom, but a fellow worrier, who's just taken the plunge.

We have had an offer accepted on a modern townhouse. It sounds a lot like the one you are talking about, although it isn't open plan.

We're going to move for a lot of the reasons you state - schools, practicality, maintenance. I'm not going to be earning much over the next couple of years.

I'm leaving a flat I love, with a sea view, for more space, better schools and lower monthly outgoings. On days like today, when the sun is shining and the sea is blue, I feel very bad about it, and I know I will miss it terribly. But there is no real outside space for DD, most of the year it isn't sunny, and it is just too small.

We have open plan living in this flat, and I think I will really miss it. I love how relaxed things are - there are no worries about what DD is doing while I cook, and we are very happy all being together. Noise from the washing machine/dishwasher doesn't bother me. However, I can see for older teenagers it would be difficult, as they like their own space. If this move works out, and we're still there when DD is older, we'll probably convert the garage.

I have totally overthought this, and I worry too. We've pulled out of two houses over the last four years because of changes in circumstances (my sudden illness, family crises) but now, I feel calm about leaving the flat that has been my space for so long. Not sure I'd have felt that even six months ago. I just know it is time to move on and have accepted it. I don't think I could have gone through with a move without this feeling tbh, but it has come eventually.

Hmmm, you don't sound particularly happy where you are at the moment... And 4 years is a long time to think and worry about this. So I'd be more tempted to take the plunge otherwise you might still be thinking about it in a couple of years.

Can you not find a more modern property nearer to where you are at the moment? Maybe that would be better. Or would you consider renting your property out and renting somewhere yourself (either modern or old) in the 'new' area to test it out? Then at least if it didn't work out you could go back.

We left Bromley last year and are now renting in a new area - and IME it's one of the best things we've ever done.

Callmecordelia thanks for taking time to reply. If you pulled out twice, does this mean you had to disappoint your flat buyers, too?
I have been thinking of moving since I moved in 4 years ago. I have created and responded to many threads on MN, like regretting buying my house, not liking period features, etc. My main worry is structural although there is no clear background to it ? everyone says ?it stood 100 years, it won?t fall now?, perhaps I am just obsessed with straight lines and must-be stable floor.

I have put my house on the market few months ago, got the buyer within day 1, this slightly freaked me out, then looked to buy and fortunately after not finding anything suitable, my buyer pulled out tired of waiting. I had decided to stay put and improve my current house but again decided that I will have to move at one point, so why not. Some time passed, there is a modern town house ticking all boxes to buy and I asked the agency to put my house on the market again.. .I was as happy yesterday thinking of moving, and completely freaking out today again freaking out of selling.
The new area the poorest bit of a posh area. My current house is on a nice road in a grotty area.

It is a nightmare in my own head.

KickapooHigh Thanks I cannot afford renting as I would be eating my equity money. I thought about buying new(er) property in the same area. By the way I like my area. It is South Norwood in London. But thinking in a long term it would be wise to move for secondary schools. So it is silly not to use this chance now.

The wisest thing would be not to move until we necessary need it (lets say before secondary age) but I keep going back and back to it and always end up slightly hating my house (poor old, nice, charming house!) and wanting to move.

No, we didn't disappoint any buyers of our flat - it is rented. But we've been here four years, and it is the best place we've ever lived.

Ah ok. There's no perfect solution esp as you are happy where you're living currently. Well, if it was me (and of course it's not!) I'd bite the bullet and move now.

However - sounds crazy but I guess it'll only be another 4/5 years and then you will need to move for the secondary schools anyway.

At least, if that's what you do, you are still in an area you like for the meantime but you have a deadline to work to (and so a limited time in your current property that you're not so keen on - might make it more bearable?)

Good luck with what you decide.

Returning to my thread here. As it happens, I made up my mind (for the 2nd time) to move. Put my house on the market (for the 2nd time). My house is under offer. Have had an offer accepted on the house I wanted to buy (no wow factor unfortunately as it is a bit shabby but ticks all the boxes).

I am about to panic (for the 2nd time!) and chicken out of the sale. It is likely is just cold feet, but i am so scared of making a wrong decision. Is this normal????

I thought I will be super excided as things have been progressing smoothly but the feeling inside resembles a panic attack!

Maybe you're not buying the right house? I am a great believer in the feeling you get when you walk in, you know if it's right for you. Unless you're buying purely for investment, it's got to be a heart decision too, it can't just tick all the boxes. It doesn't sound like you viewed many houses. I think if you were really moving into the right house, you'd feel really excited, as well as nervous.

It sounds like you need to move, just not in to the house you are buying...

Never bought a house, so can't advise much but if a big motivating factor is secondary schools I think it is not wisest to wait until nearer the time. It might be impossible to move nearer the time.

Is it Hayes? Secondary school was our main factor in the location. We are moving to Warlingham which is a bit out in the sticks but good transport. 1m is not far from a train station. I think you are overthinking this.

No AngryFeet it is Shirley/Bronley border potentially for Langley catchment and almost definite for Shirley high. We still have several years until secondary age but agree that you cannot leave it till the last minute. Correct I chose the new house (which I put offer on) mostly due to right location. I don't feel that the house is wrong although I am scared to face another renovation project... I have to start sorting out my mortgage and instruct solicitors but I instead I am having a panic attack overthinking if my reasons for wanting to move are "valid" enough...