We've sold the house I loathe, so why am I sad?

[orangeandemons]

I loathed our house. It's too big, costs a fortune to heat, is on a main road, and is always cold. So we are moving. The buyers survey came through today, and is fine, so we are going.

But now I want to cry! Dd came here as a new baby, all our family grew up here, dd has just made a friend down the street, and one of the main reasons for moving was there were no other dc nearby....

I still hate the house, but why am I so sad? I couldn't wait to get out!

Possibly you have to admit that there's no "saving" it now, so you feel as though you "wasted" lots of time on it?

Because any move is traumatic and an emotional wrench, no matter whether the place you are going to is an improvement. Shifting the place you call 'home' from one house to another is emotionally difficult and there's always a place of limbo in the middle where you can't picture the future matching up to the things you are letting go of.
However, once you get over the threshold of your new place all these feelings will instantly and significantly shift.

But, to make it worse...

My mum died a few years ago, and we were renting out her house. I am only going there. 5 minutes away.....but I still feel crap

Oh, maybe you're sad not about the house you're leaving, but about the next stage, its being your DM's house (which she's not going to come "home" to now).

Sorry if that makes you cry. It sounds, though, as though you need to continue your mourning.

Have you redecorated since your tenants moved out (or, indeed, before you let it out)?

No, I mean I am quite happy to be going there, it.s where I was little, but I still feel crap about leaving current house

At the risk of getting all pseudo-psychological on you... Could you be transferring some of your left-over grief about your mother's death onto the house? Grief has a habit of spilling out all over the place, with each fresh loss (and moving house is a loss, even if you hate it) triggering memories and emotions from previous ones.