You're right, FrauMoose, I've been too vague to get proper advice.
We would like to live in a fairly affluent/middle class area. We live in a commuter village now so there are lots of professional couples around with similar aspirations for their children. I hate how snobby that sounds, but equally my DS loves the local chess club and I would like him to know children whose parents won't take the piss out of him for being a bit geeky.
We don't want to be actually in Birmingham because we prefer to be in more of a countryside area. I like being able to walk out of our front door and see fields. I like being able to walk for five minutes max before I'm in proper countryside.
On the other hand, the shorter the commute is, the better. However, after a few years DH will probably be able to leave the centre of Birmingham and work in a local town instead so, if it's a toss-up between slightly shorter commute or living more in the countryside, the countryside wins.
We're not overly fussed about selective schools. We have a DD who is middling academically (though I'd never tell her that) and since the others are currently the type of children who work hard because they want to, and will therefore do as well as they can whichever school they go to, we'd prefer a school where all our children will be able to go together. We don't have any SN to cater for so that's not going to influence our choice of school.
We don't have many preferences about the type of house as long as it has a reasonable size garden, big enough for a vegetable patch and enough space for the kids to run around as well, and I'd like a big kitchen/diner, though that's not a deal-breaker.
We don't care about shops, as long as there is a supermarket that delivers.
The only thing I would really, really like is a leisure centre which has a swimming pool and a gymnastics club, preferably within walking distance. But again, if it's not that close by, I'm not going to throw my toys out of the cot.
I hope that's a bit more helpful. 