Hate my house and my new life

[yummymumtobe]

Sorry for such a negative title...I posted before about being uncertain about the house we were buying. Well we completed in december and have been having work done since. I hate going there. I feel absolutely no excitement at the prospect of moving in (this week). We we are mid 30s with DD and have recently found no 2 on the way. We didn't feel ready to move out of London quite yet so this is only a 5 year house until the point we are 'ready' to move out and know what we want, ie surrey suburbs or guildford village (original!). Now i really regret that choice. Can't help thinking we should have just moved. I don't know how to feel better about it. I have tried to enjoy choosing sofas and stuff but just can't get into it. Maybe it's hormones as well - I don't know. I just feel like I hate the area too. We only moved to this area a year ago to be near family and work but it's never really felt like my place. We were in n London before which was more our sort of place. It's easier to be near family and work (esp with a toddler) but our lifestyle isn't the same. Just want to pull myself out of this but feel constantly like crying!

I am sorry you feel like this. I am not a million miles away from Guildford. Is it where you grew up? What do you miss that you can't to where u are now? Have you made friends? I am sure once u move into your new house it will feel more like home. X

We are in sw London now. I grew up in Surrey and always wanted to move back there as it's just so nice. Partic where I lived - green, nice shops and parks - no 'dodgy' bits. Think I am getting fed up with London as even in the nicest areas there are grotty parts and it just gets me down to even go on the bus through grotty areas! Anyway, we moved when my dd was already 6 months so don't feel like I made as many friends as you do when you have a newborn as people already established. And the people I really like have now moved out of london!

Maybe it would be worth doing a refresher antenatal class as a way to meet mums (NCT or Lazy Daisy). It is hard when you have children to make friends, it does take time. Especially if you are like me and don't find it easy o strike up a conversation with a stranger. At least in London there is so much to do. I remember when I had a really bad morning with mine, I decided to march to the train station and we spent a couple of hours in Waterloo by the London eye, had an ice cream and came home. dH thought I was mad! At least if you are near family maybe they can have your DD while you rest and try and sort out the new house. I am sure things will get better.

Tbh, this doesn't sound as if it's about the house, you sound a bit depressed and negative about life in general. If you really can't stand the house (or the area), SW London is booming so you could easily sell and relocate without losing very much money but I would try and stick it out and make some friends first. Good luck .

If there is no going back maybe you will feel better when you have made friends?

Can you look into what the place can offer you? Clubs/groups etc?

I could have written your post 7 years ago! I moved in February to SW London when I was pregnant with DD2 and hated it but now I love it.

First, the weather is terrible at the moment - everything got easier when spring came as it's a really nice area in good weather - so many parks and green spaces, and down by the river is lovely. I realised that I could walk most places and that really helped.

Second, I did some voluntary work for the NCT (not an antenatal class as I didn't feel the need with DD2) and that really helped with meeting people. I also went to all the playgroups/music groups etc I could - all a bit tedious but again, it meant I met other mothers and it gave me something to do.

Third, yes, I did find it all a bit ugly - I moved from a beautiful city abroad and was a bit shocked by how grim UK cities can be, particularly in the winter (I still am). But then, there are so many amazing places to visit round here. We became members of places like Kew Gardens, the Wetlands Centre etc. I really think SW London is one of the easier areas in London to have children.

How long have you been here? It took me a year at least to settle and by then I had two under two so I began to really appreciate the benefits of living in a 'nappy valley' area.

We have been here a year. We have been renting but now moving into a house we've bought. I have looked at groups but as I work am quite restricted as I can only go to classes on my non work days. I just feel like we moved down here to make our lives easier (my husband was commuting 1.5 hrs across london which just seemed crazy) but although we don't have long commutes now we have a less good lifestyle. North london is so vibrant with loads on independent places. Anyway, I suppose it's too late now and if I lived there still I would be moaning about the commute! I don't like the house as its Victorian and I always swore I would never live in an old house again. Always so much to do and they are money pits!

They may be money pits, but they are very popular and will be a good investment.
I moved when my DCs were young, and hated it for a while, although the house was (and still is) nice. Give yourself time; the worst thing that can happen is that you don't settle, and move in a few years, which is part of your plan anyway.
Good luck!