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Original poster

Neighbours have complained - opinions please!

26 replies

beabea81 · 13/09/2012 23:11

Our neighbours were waiting for me twitching at the curtains when I got home this eve, they charged out of the house & jumped over the bushes onto our driveway, frantically calling to me - I thought omg what's happened?!

They were frantic going ten to the dozen at me, it was v dramatic & they were v annoyed with me. They said that when we had our drive cleaned earlier by a pressure cleaning company today, that mud & grit had sprayed onto their side. I did look round after it was done & only noticed a slight bit of muddy spray residue - but it wasn't on their side, it was on the other neighbour's side, not a lot, but I got the hose out & washed it off because I like to think I'm a decent enough neighbour! It also only looked like muddy spray not grit to me.

Anyway, the other neighbours claim it had covered their house, car & drive & that while I was out this afternoon they had spent 2 hours cleaning it all off. I was v apologetic & explained that I had a look around earlier & never noticed anything on their side - that I had washed off what I had noticed on the other neighbour's side. My 17 month old daughter started crying at this point because their voices were raised & they really were going off on one at me. I kept apologising & my daughter was getting more & more upset so in the end I left & went indoors & burst into tears!

The wife (they are both in their late 60's & retired & have pristine house, car garden etc) did seem to back down when she saw I was upset, but the husband then started saying that grit had chipped his car - she then said oh no they are old chips, and he said no no i found a new one!! They just kept going on & on at me.

My husband came home later & is really angry at the way they approached the situation charging at me coming home with the baby. We do feel they have probably over reacted & I honestly don't see how I could've missed seeing this mess on their side?! It doesn't make sense...

When our other neighbours had some building work done we had some brick dust etc on our drive & car but we just accepted it & never said anything isn't it just one of those things?? Also are the company doing work supposed to put protective sheets over neighbours cars & houses because this is another thing the husband said should have been done?!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 13/09/2012 23:13

No, this falls under the banner of 'insane'.

Feel free to ignore, there is nothing wrong, they just have too much time on their hands.

NotGeoffVader · 13/09/2012 23:16

They sound a bit mad! Why not dig out the business card/details of the company that did the work for you, pass it on, and tell them to raise any complaints with them?

piprabbit · 13/09/2012 23:18

It seems to be jet-washing drives season where I live to. All the these beautiful pristine driveways - but the amount of gunk left all over the roads and pavements is a bit yuk. And I've never seen any protective sheets put anywhere expect over the windows nearest to the drive so I'm not sure why your neighbour thought his car would be protected.

It sounds like your neighbours were completely OTT - although I'm prepared to believe that they did have to clear up a mess (especially if they are very houseproud). Did they say what they were expecting you to do about the situation, or were they just complaining for the sake of it.

Maybe buy them a bottle of wine and add a card saying you hope that you can continue being good neighbours.

Original poster
beabea81 · 14/09/2012 13:04

no they didn't actually seem to want anything from me in particular - i kept apologising & they just kept on ranting! hubby was actually furious that they came at me and the baby like that & didn't wait til he was home & knock & speak calmly about it. he said he would have been more than happy to go & clean up any mess for them & wants to go round at the weekend to offer to do it again for them & be really ott about it! i said no just leave things now...

i think what upset me most was that my baby was crying because of the way they were both ranting & raising their voices, & they just ignored it & carried on, it's made me see them in a different light.

tbh they always seem to have an issue with a neighbour about something, they had a fall out recently with a young couple over the road who also have a baby. i saw them go round in the day & knock on her door, she had the baby in her arms & they did the same thing - going at her about parking opposite their driveway making it hard for them to reverse out!

they've lived in the road since it was built 35 years ago & are very proud about that, i think maybe they feel they have ownership over the road or something!

i'm still baffled by how i never noticed this mud on their car drive & house when i looked around yesterday : (

OP posts:
Pattypooped · 14/09/2012 14:51

my neighbour in her sixties is similar to this.

She complained that she could see our patio heater and asked for it to be removed, offering to put it in her garage.

She also told us not to have a dog or feed the squirrels or birds.

Then she asked me to water her garden.

They simply have nothing better to worry about. And they have no empathy.

wendybird77 · 14/09/2012 16:29

So sorry this has happened to you. You sound like a very kind person. These people are crazy - there wasn't a mess, they just like to get worked up. Don't buy them wine, they should be buying you wine after how they behaved. You did nothing wrong and they should be grateful to live next to neighbours who bother to have their drive cleaned and keep their house neat (they would die a small death if they had to live next to me - dead flowers in the window boxes, windows not washed in a very long time indeed, never sweep my walk, etc). Carry on and tell them to fuck off (loudly and with a slight tinge of crazy) if they ever come at you like that again - they will leave you alone if they can't bully you.

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt · 14/09/2012 16:32

I am sorry you were upset. They sound like frightful bullies.

Is your husband going to speak to them and say that you were upset? Normally I would baulk at asking your husband to step in but you were spoken to in such a way to make you and your baby cry.

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/09/2012 16:36

They sound awful and in the circs I would imagine that my DH would want to go and have a word. I know that things like this bring out his protective side and although quite able to look after myself it is nice having someone stick up for you!

avivabeaver · 14/09/2012 17:11

Ignore and have a laugh with the woman over the street about how mad they are.

frostyfingers · 15/09/2012 18:10

Ask your husband to go round to them (possibly with bottle of wine or flowers if you think it would help) and launch straight into an apology, explaining that you had looked around just after it had been done and not seen anything untoward and that of course if you had you would have sorted it out. Get him to ask if they want it cleaned again, say how sorry you are etc etc and lay it on thick. Also explain that you were upset that they were upset, that your baby (emphasise the baby!) was upset blah blah blah. I often find if you do this with people who are a bit confrontational it completely floors them and they get embarrassed..... It matters not that you don't mean it, grit your teeth and grovel and I bet they back down.

Don't get involved in a slanging match, it really isn't worth it and it only ramps up the stress.

They sound unreasonable, but I expect they'd seen the drive being cleaned, decided there and then that there was going to be a mess and been working themselves up in to a stew by the time you arrived home. As others have said, probably nothing else to do all day but sit and fume about perceived injustices!

eggsandwich · 15/09/2012 23:53

I had crazy old neighbours too, they did'nt like the lines in the grass that the lawn mower left after I cut the grass, I told her she seriously needs help if thats all she worried about!

mumzy · 16/09/2012 09:13

Agree with Piprabbit. I've been hit with spray (just walking along the pavement) from people jet washing on drives this week so it probably did affect your neighbours. Best to acknowledge it and mollify them with a card and chocs/ wine.

auberginesarenottheonlyfruit · 16/09/2012 09:24

Acutally, no, I wouldn't go round with flowers and chocolates. Why reward them for their unreasonable behaviour? It's not that they were annoyed about what they saw as mess on their property, but the way they dealt with it.

If your husband does go round (although I wouldn't want mine fighting my battles for me), it should be to say how you don't appreciate being spoken to in that way at all, let alone for something that wasn't technically your fault and that you would appreciate a more polite and neighbourly approach in future. Don't let the neighbour bang on again about paint chips and grit (or hand over the details of the company if necessary); keep it all focussed on their unacceptable and bullying behaviour.

And then ignore them in future. I have a neighbour like this. The rest of the road are delightful and we all get on well. I'm afraid I blank him. I am not prepared to engage with his insane rants - unless he has another go at one of my (nice!) children, in which case I will put him straight.

godders75 · 08/07/2014 19:20

I arrived home on Saturday to find that the next door neighbour had jet washed their drive but had not bothered to ask us to move our car. I was angry and went straight round. Fortunately they were not in so I decided to write a polite but to the point note. The next day when we were inspecting the damage they came to their window. The first thing they said was that my letter had caused distress to them. The letter was as I said polite and only concentrated on my disappointment at them not bothering to ask us to move our car. Long story short is that they have totally dismissed the fact that the car has been damaged, its a shared drive, and not once have we had an apology. One side of the car is near immaculate the other was but no longer. It is still angering me and I dont want them thinking they have got away with it. What can I do?

ethelb · 08/07/2014 19:32

Godders your message sounds like it could have been construed as quite rude even if that was not intentional.

No adult deserves a telling off over something that is in the grand scheme of things quite trivial.

jenmariew · 06/10/2014 12:56

My neighbours had their drive jet washed last year. We ended up with mud and gravel splashed all over our drive and water flooding under our garage door. It was only the fact that we were there that prevented stuff in our garage from getting damaged as we noticed the water flooding in and we pointed out to the contractor doing the jet washing. He was totally unconcerned. There was mud splashed under our side gate up our side door and plastic storage box and the the drainage had blocked with the deluge of mud and gravel. I will give her her due, she did insist on cleaning our side door etc. but no apology about the state of our drive. I was livid but I kept my cool as we still have to carry on living next door to them. I just can't comprehend the thoughtlessness of some people!

Jux · 06/10/2014 17:37

People have their drives jetwashed? Shock

Tori23 · 06/10/2014 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlCapone · 06/10/2014 17:51

Jet washing a drive makes a truly awful mess of the surrounding area. I can well believe your neighbours. I did mine earlier on this summer and it was dreadful. My car, parked in the road so a pavement width away, was filthy. I had to jet wash that too.

I don't think they approached it in the best way though.

Jux · 06/10/2014 21:31

Well, after reading this thread and realising how mingingly discusting we are for never having jetwashed our drive, I have spent the day washing the grass. I am knackered now, but I've done it! Tomorrow I shall be vacuum packing the flowers. DH suggested we formica the garden as then we can just give it a wipe.

Gemma77 · 06/10/2014 21:46

They have acted completely over the top! Sounds like they have exaggerated things too...

I'm impressed that your husband has managed to keep his cool enough not to go knocking on their door!!

Don't let his bullying behaviour get you down - says much more about him than you x

burnishedsilver · 07/10/2014 01:51

They may have had to clean up but they've handled it very badly and tbh sound a bit nuts.

Don't upset yourself over it. Some people are just difficult. Theres nothing you should have done differently.

WaltzingWithBares · 07/10/2014 07:51

My NDNs are a bit like this. They always want a rant about something. Usually it's the odd chicken of mine in their garden (very rural agricultural village - it's a holiday home for them). I have told them they're fortunate I haven't got cats or dogs yet. That would give them something to really upset them - cats digging up their borders, and dogs barking day and night.

antipodeangross · 20/05/2017 15:03

My neighbours don't like pets or any wildlife so they object to me feeding wildlife in my garden. But they constantly shout to each other and their kids, slam the door shout and get drunk in the garden until late whilst keeping their and other party guest's children awake and thus grizzly. The children have learnt to shout all the time as well. So what causes more disruption - peanut shells or noise and setting a bad example and breaking a child's routine?

scootinFun · 20/05/2017 15:05

ZOMBIE thread