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Property/DIY

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Original poster

Village life

18 replies

Zoelda · 01/09/2012 11:00

Weve just moved to a village with 600 people in. As you'd expect we're this months news and everyone has virtually looked around the house, know what we paid for it and gossiped to their hearts content.

I can live with that and I know it'll pass but....there seem to be 101 factions groups sub groups etc. it's like being ack at school (with fewer people!). How the hell do you stay out of it all??

OP posts:

Pascha · 01/09/2012 11:01

By staying well out of it all. I can't be bothered with it really.

Original poster

Zoelda · 01/09/2012 11:05

Every time I speak to someone they seem to try and draw me in! I think it's not helped by the fact the previous owners of our house were universally hated.

OP posts:

Katisha · 01/09/2012 11:07

By commuting and only returning in the evenings generally...

BoffinMum · 01/09/2012 11:13

Smile and nod, and eventually set up your own faction with you at the centre, aimed at being nice to people.

Pascha · 01/09/2012 11:14

You could start your own faction!

BoffinMum · 01/09/2012 11:21

Pascha, let's go in and sort it for her. Great minds.

Shakey1500 · 01/09/2012 11:29

We moved from London, to a town, then to a village. Adjusting to a town was bad enough for London born and bred DH but when we moved to a village and he was stopped every ten yards with a cheery "MORNING!" he was paranoid initially . Suspected everyone of having ulterior motives and being slightly bonkers (in a nice way).

Now he loves it, has a spring in his step and is even enjoying the slight ribbing he gets down the local pub because of his strong accent "Apples and Pears mate, apples and pears??? Chortle chortle..."

Throw yourself into it I say :)

Original poster

Zoelda · 01/09/2012 13:14

I need to find the right balance. I'm noses by nature and a bit of a cow but I don't want to be involved. Commuting not an option as i work from home. People seem to assume that means I'm free for coffee which is another problem

OP posts:

GrassIsntGreener · 01/09/2012 13:18

Just don't talk to them? Won't be very nice or sociable for you though. I'm afraid if you moved there you should have had an idea first of what it's like.

My village contains 250 people so quite small. I make the news if I sneeze.

Shakey1500 · 01/09/2012 14:04

That's the thing, if you don't talk to them, they could make up/assume/gossip about allsorts

Best to be polite, friendly but firm on the "I'm not available for anything between the hours of x and y due to working from home where I need it to be uninterrupted"

What do you mean by you're nosey and a bit of a cow??

But yes, all par for the course living in a village, it's as it's always been widely known for.

Original poster

Zoelda · 01/09/2012 19:39

lol!

yes youre right

i should have thought of that.

silly me

OP posts:

SizzleSazz · 01/09/2012 19:48

Our hamlet has 23 people. No nosiness at all. Love it!

wisecamel · 01/09/2012 20:35

Everyone's probably dead curious about what you do for a living because groups/factions are often looking for people to do PR/writing/treasury stuff for them and as you work from home, you may even have your own laminator, which is quite exciting.

What Shakey said really. It's quite addictive though, village life and you might enjoy it if you engage a bit more.

FishfingersAreOK · 01/09/2012 20:51

We moved out of a village of 500 because it was a bit like that. Schools/commute were mainreasons for moving but the 6 or so years of village life were enough to convince us that we wanted to be town based for the next home.

I enjoyed some aspects of getting involved but found it easier once we had children as that gives you and "in" so to speak. Just be careful before you speak your mind - take a few months years to suss out the lay of the land in case you start appearing to/take sides with one faction or the other unintentionally.

However It is entirely feasible just to stay out of it. Enough polite "nos" will soon get the message across. There may be the odd gossip about you "keeping yourself to yourself" but if that is the worst/all they can say who cares?

If you do want to get involved you will also be talked about a bit - but as long as you are not outrageously obnoxious you just have to remember that in general people have too much going on in their own lives to really bitch about you. And even if they do - these are the people whose opinions are worthless.

frostyfingers · 01/09/2012 21:50

If you've got a fence, sit firmly on it. I always agree in a vague sort of way to whatever the other person is talking about, don't suggest ANYTHING "needs doing" until you've been there a good 10 years, under no circumstances sit on a parish council until you've been there a good 20 years. Don't gossip about anyone - they are almost certainly connected to the person you are talking to.

Always buy raffle tickets, tombola tickets etc etc, produce things for the village fete (otherwise you'll be known as "you know, the tight people from Rose Cottage"). Smile and nod at everyone even if you have no idea who they are (otherwise you'll be known as "you know, the grumpy people from Rose Cottage").

Oh and - don't enter baking/vegetable growing competitions for a good few years either!

This advice comes from living 20 years in the country: it works a treat for us - we're known as "those nice, generous, smiley, non interfering people from the white house" There is a lot to be said for sitting on the fence and keeping everyone happy.

WAD · 02/09/2012 11:25

You'll be newcomers for at least 25 years

Get involved 'on the fringes' with social events and societies etc, if there are any which interest you, nod and smile a lot, but defer to long standing residents on matters of 'what needs to be done'... otherwise you won't go down well. Ignore the gossiping - it goes on everywhere, is just more obvious in a small village.

Original poster

Zoelda · 02/09/2012 18:03

Very nice advice above. Thank you . Very helpful

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 03/09/2012 17:01

It can be helpful to do the donkey work for a local newsletter as a way of pleasing most of the people most of the time, without committing to any opinions on anything. I mean the photocopying/printing/delivering/proof reading type of thing.

It is also polite to offer to help to clear up the rubbish after any fetes or similar events. That goes down very well.

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