I hate my fu*king house

[idoloveabiscuit]

Or more specifically the state of it.

Moved in a few months ago and every room needs redecorating or gutting. Have had builders in for past 5 weeks doing new bathroom and kitchen. No mattter how much I clean, there's constantly an inch of dust everywhere.

We've got a toddler and newborn and I'm at the end of my tether. I'm at the point where I'd quite happily sell it and never set eyes on it again.

Everything has cost twice as much as we anticipated so we can't afford to get it professionally decorated as we planned so it's now up to my DH to do it, which means it will take absolutely ages as he's really busy at work at the moment and only has the weekends to get on with it.

Sorry for the whinge. I just can't see the wood for the trees at the moment.

Form experience, it will take 3 weeks for the dust to settle and then you will be back to normal levels.
can you rope in family help to decorate? try and get one room done and then you have a haven to escape to.
I don't know what needs to be done but maybe a student at £6 an hour to help with the easy/heavy jobs?
A toddler and a newborn is enough for most people without any additional stress.
Don't be too proud to ask for help.

Any chance you could bung the kids in child care for a few afternoons and do the painting yourself? Even if it's just 2 or 3 rooms you use all the time, and do the rest later on in the year?

Sorry just saw you have a newborn - maybe not!

I had this with current house, my DS was 13 months at the time. Concentrate on making syre it is safe and hygienic as best you can. Choose a haven room to start on, clear, clean and then build it up from there. Dont expect to do it all immediately...Im nearly 3 years on and still have 2 rooms to do! But because Ive lived in the house for a while now I kniw exactly what I want to do with them/use them for. Whereas the rooms I did straight away need looking at already...so dont rush it

You have my sympathies, I was in a similar position to you when I had an 18 mth old and a newborn. We'd just moved onto a house that needed completely gutting and rebuilding in places. Dh is a s/e builder so did it all - he took no paternity leave and worked solidly every weekend. He's still working on it now, seven years later! It was one of the hardest times of my life but what kept me going was knowing that the house would one day be the home of our dreams, and it really has exceeded my expectations, it's beautiful and I'm so glad we went through all the crap times for it. There's no way we could afford this house now if we were to buy it at its current market value.

So try to just put one foot in front of the other each day and remind yourself of the long-term benefits. Practically speaking, I found getting out and about during the day was the only way to survive...

I am at the other end of the scale to you. I hate my fucking house (well I love it, only lived here a year) but we can't afford to change anything in it at the moment. I knew when we moved this is the way it would be but doesn't stop me getting pissed off about it.
Take a deep breath, call on all/any help you can, can you budget for a cleaner? I know it won't make a huge difference but may help you feel a little more in control? Or at least know that once a week the dust will be gone for 1/2 hour . Know that the end is in sight and when I can finally afford to get rid of my bright blue bathroom suite, disgusting kitchen and 80s decor I will be looking to you for tips on how to get through it!

Agree with Mum2Fergus, who has offered much better advice! It does take time to get it right, in fact we've recently redone all the bedrooms and the main sitting room because they were all done quickly when we first moved in!

I hated mine when we moved in. No building work to do but we had to skim four rooms so dust and mess everywhere and no usable rooms as the ones not plastered had all the stuff from the ones being plastered in them. Similar situation, 14mo, both in full time jobs and every room in the house needed fully decorating.

Two months later I actually quite like it! We worked stupidly hard, painting in the evenings when baby in bed, heavy duty DIY every weekend. This caused some issues but now we only have the kitchen and a couple of tidying up things to do.

From bitter experience, don't battle with the dust. Vapour spray the rooms, client to doors, leave it overnight and that should bring most of it out. Hoover, then wash with damp cloths.

You'll get there, promise.

I just find it so depressing. All we talk about is the sodding house and what needs doing to it.

DH wanted to replace all the ceilings but I've put my foot down!

ido Just keep thinking about how it will look when it is all finished. It's funny isn't it, I would love my H to show any/some/a tiny bit of interest in our house. But he would be happy to live in an 80s timewarp till the day he dies.

Are you able to take some time out with your DH and agree that the house is off limits as a topic? It seems as though it is consuming you, and that isn't good.

I strongly agree with the suggestion of a haven. We made sure the kitchen and bathroom worked, finished DD's room (had to re-plaster so it's had a coat of very boring paint!) then sorted out our bedroom. I won't tolerate junk or clutter in there now, but it's very relaxing to be able to sit in a clean, tidy, peaceful room, even when the rest of the house looks like a bombs hit it.

I really hate to say this, but if the ceilings need to be replaced then now is the time.

the kitchen and bathroom are the biggest jobs in a house, so at least the worst will be over.

We did a speedy redecoration of the children's bedrooms within 2 weeks of moving in. Just repainted over plaster & wallpaper exactly the same as they had in the previous house to minimise upheaval.

When I did the dining room last year I did a proper job, painted the ceiling etc & it does look so much better.

Sadly if your ceilings need replacing then you need to do it now.

If it helps we are living in our forever house & still saving for our kitchen extension to be done next year.

That means living with 12 year old carpets that are stained, gold taps in bathroom & en-suite, shell style sinks, ripped lino in the kitchen.... The list goes on.

My mate just bought barn conversion, all new inside and I am sick with envy but I love my house & in a few years it will be amazing.

When I say the ceilings need replacing, it's purely for cosmetic reasons so not structurally necessary.

Think I need to get a grip and stop whinging as the house has a truly fabulous garden and we'll get there in the end. Just don't react well to mess and chaos!