Can I draw your attention to the utter wanky-ness of this EA blurb...

[kitsmummy]

Not to mention the footballers wives stylie interior....thanks for that John and Lesley - how soon can I book a viewing?.

They're just beige hell, aren't they?

And that photo of the children in the second house. Too high up the wall. Why do people do this?

Two pleasingly hideous houses

Apparently that first house "never feels so large that it is overwhelming". Which would be a relief to me, as I'm often overwhelmed by the size of my house. Book me in for a viewing - but only if I can have two strong men to make sure I don't fall over on those lethal floors.

Always amused by estate agents who don't know the difference between a ménage and a manège.

'Belies the fact it was built only 5 years ago'

No. Sorry. Blatently a modern shite pile house. And WTF with the brick monstrosity on the side - it indeed looks like someone has tagged a Barratt box home on the side.

"the proportions are at once perfectly pleasing and the classic Georgian styling ...."

Apart from, as you say, the "classic georgian" brick monstrosity on the side. WTF were they thinking?

Sorry, I can't see the pictures properly, my eyes are dazzled by the reflections from that floor.

Hee hee at the Barratts new build stuck on the side. Servants' quarters maybe? or for the mistress...?

Always think it is so unjust that people have so much money and so little taste.

John and Lesley clearly need to move as they've run out of inspiration for their gardening projects...
Either that or they need respite from the chronic piles they must suffer from having walked around all day on those cold floors.
Re: house no 2. Not surprised they watch the dogs losing themselves in the garden, the poor fuckers are clearly trying to escape.
I find the overturned boat in the lake very sinister...

I've emailed them to ask them to remove the apostrophe from ensuites.

(Key features list for house 1)

'Classic Georgian proportions' !! I wonder who palmed them off with that with those ceiling heights!

rollingfrog - i do hope you've directed them towards this thread!

Clearly someone in house 1 has a flatulence problem. Why else a ceiling fan in the bedroom (pic 11) in Kent? It's hardly Jo'burg.

I really worry when people say 'look at the classical Georgian proportions' and the building doesn't have nearly enough height for its width. You can tell from the outside that the ceilings are going to be revoltingly short low, why lie? Why not get an architect that can work out the right proportions?

And the floor. Fucking hell. It's monstrous!