I want to move our kitchen - how do I persuade OH?

[Daisybell1]

It's his family home, he's never lived anywhere else - our dd is the 4th generation to live here.

Traditionally, the family have had a posh side of the house where noone went, and the normal side with the lounge/dining room and small kitchen. Both these rooms are small and so we all pile into them and the rest of the house gets filled with junk lies empty.

I think the rear 'posh' room would make a lovely family kitchen - big enough to take a family dining table. The current kitchen could then become the office, with easy access from the business and the 2 front rooms become a lounge and kids room.

He just can't see it, and I'm starting to lose the will to live trying to explain it.

Does anyone have any ideas?

If he has emailed the architect he is at least open to the idea :) Strike whilst the iron is hot... get those fireplaces back in!

i would also be tempted to say to him that if you aren't allowed any say in YOUR house that you would rather sell up and move somewhere that is actually yours

have you sat him down and had a proper talk about how it feels to live in someone else's house?
he's being incredibly pig-headed and unkind if you've explained all this and he still won't "allow" you to change his mothers stuff

Thanks enormously guys. Reading all your replies and different suggestions yesterday meant I was stewing on it and eventually exploded into hysterical tears last night. To my shame, I used the line "being forced to live in your dead mother's house" but it got results - he's worried about the cost of renovations but he has agreed that, even if structural changes are difficult, we can re-decorate, inc re-carpeting.

He was then happy to traipse around the rooms with me, and even started muttering about extensions at the back, or converting the garage (2 storey with big barn door at the front) into the kitchen instead...

At least I feel that I've got somewhere now!

Thank you all, you've been much more helpful than if I'd posted this in relationships!!!

Great result considering where you started from :)

Oh that sounds really positive Daisy! I'm so glad that he can see how its affecting you, living there but not feeling at home.

And don't feel bad about saying you were forced to live in your dead MILs house, as that is exactly how you feel and not just used for effect - it has obviously made him see the situation from your POV more clearly than just chatting about changing the rooms to make the most of the space etc.

Enjoy the renovations! I'm quite actually, I love a bit of DIY!

Ime the way to change a man's mind is to get him to think it was his idea in the first place or get another man to suggest it to him.