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Original poster

Moving decision ( I need a whinge ! )

17 replies

ItsInTheTrees · 03/05/2012 13:08

Okay so we (myself, DH 3DC's ) live in a lovely cosy home - Aga, floorboards big cottage garden etc in a twee village. For the past seven years, we have tried to improve it etc, but for the entire time I have heard myself ( and everyone around me probably ! ) shouting " I hate it here !! "
I feel very isolated and although I drive, I feel absolutely removed from civilisation. Friends and family seem to think I am mad to want to leave, which doesn't help.

I have had a really bad time in this house too and it is packed from floor to ceiling with awful memories. I am well aware that your s**t follows you around wherever you are, but .....

Financial restrictions have meant that until now, we have been unable to move.

It seems we have a potential cash buyer so why am I freaking out !??

DH would live pretty much anywhere, so he goes with the flow as long as I'm happy. Hmm, this is extremely unhelpful as it all feels like my decision, consequently I feel really selfish. I'm a SAHM so yes, I am at home for much of the time. 2DC's would have to move school, but they are in their final years at (a tiny) Primary school.

I just don't know what to do. Because of the difficulties I have experienced over the past few years, I don't feel very strong or capable to make such decisions. We would be so much financially better off and free from all debt other than mortgage with the offer from buyer and the lower price of property available in the neighbouring town I would like us to move to.

Apologies for being whingy, but I really am in a pickle. Any thoughts ? It's gone beyond "if in doubt, do nothing" because I will still be here at 80 if I do that ! Thanks

OP posts:
minipie · 03/05/2012 13:12

It sounds like you are freaking out because you feel as if this move is all for you and you think that is selfish.

It is not selfish. If you are miserable, that affects not just you but the rest of the family too. And as you say it would be financially better too, which affects everyone.

Also maybe you are worried about what happens if you move and you are still miserable? That is a possibility of course, but that won't necessarily mean the move was a bad decision - just that it hasn't fixed everything all at once.

FWIW I think the move sounds like a good idea (assuming you can find a good school for your DCs in the new location).

Best of luck Smile

Original poster
ItsInTheTrees · 03/05/2012 14:32

Thanks so much for your reply minipie.

Have taken a deep breath and booked some viewings for tomorrow Smile

OP posts:
likeatonneofbricks · 03/05/2012 16:53

just go to viewing and see how you feel about potential places - if you love something it will really help to stop freaking out. As a SAHM you do need your shops/cafes etc so it's only reasonable.
Did have a laugh at 'twee village'!

Original poster
ItsInTheTrees · 03/05/2012 17:45

Thanks bricks, I certainly do need someone wearing a name badge to make me a coffee ! And I welcome the day I stop freaking out too Wink !

OP posts:
oreocrumbs · 03/05/2012 19:38

I fully agree that a house can be packed with bad memories, and of course whatever has happened will stay in your head, but being in a different environment will make you feel better and you will not have constant reminders.

The rest of the factors make a big tick in my book for moving house so I would at least explore the options. A fresh start can be a very wonderful thing Smile

Rhubarbgarden · 03/05/2012 20:29

Do it. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

orienteerer · 03/05/2012 20:32

Move now to small town, enjoy not having to drive everywhere, DC will easily settle and you'll all be happyGrin.

Beachcomber · 03/05/2012 20:38

Sounds like a good idea to me. If you will be financially better off and your DH doesn't mind where you live. Also if your children are nearing end of primary they will be nearing an age where they will probably be pleased to be in a town where there have more chance of being independent.

Is it perhaps the thought of actually having to find the energy to do the move that is making you doubt?

I ask because we are currently doing a LOT of work in our house and the thought of then finding the energy to move makes me tired just thinking about it! We will though - we have seen a house we want and the seller has agreed to sell to us even though we haven't sold yet (I live in France - different system, it is usual to buy before selling). I'm knackered just at the thought of all we have to do but that might be because I have spent a tiring day re-plastering the kitchen...

greyvix · 03/05/2012 21:19

I totally sympathise. We have been in the same house for 22 years because we have been scared of making a mistake. If the house has bad memories though it should be easier for you. Trust your judgement!

An0therName · 03/05/2012 21:20

sounds like a really good move - provided schools for DCs ok which i assume you checked - town for older DC much better in my view - more oppertunities for independance- and as they are moving schools anyway a good time to do it-
I wonder if a bit of you is a bit scared that the move won't be the "answer" and as others say the energy to move can hard to find

crazyhead · 04/05/2012 16:30

I think that the more consistent feeling of wanting to leave is more reliable than your current fears. You could be feeling all sorts of funny underlying things - for instance you might be scared that things don't feel better even if you do move ifkwim, and the sums of money involved in moving are always really stressful even if you come out well from selling!

But it sounds as though you've got lots of really sound reasons for a change. Very good luck with it - it will probably be just the change you need.

SpringHeeledJack · 04/05/2012 17:17

move move move move

Staverton · 04/05/2012 17:21

I used to live in a twee village and absolutely hated it. We now live in a beautiful city and it's the best thing we ever did.
I will never ever live in a village again.

Ghanagirl · 04/05/2012 22:01

Move move move if you are going to be better off financially plus you've been unhappy where you are presently, it's as the americans say a no brainer.
Good luck x

Original poster
ItsInTheTrees · 05/05/2012 16:08

Thank you all for you replies - I have viewed a beautiful Victorian town house this morning and am totally in love with it ! Imagined us all in there, stayed about an hour (!) and didn't want to leave. Need to do a bit of figure juggling on paper and the we shall see.

My heart sank driving back into this bloody village with it's Parish Council Meetings and "locals-only" madness !! Grin

It was nice to feel hopeful and be tuned into something along the line of decision making again !

Thanks again all

xx

OP posts:
Beachcomber · 05/05/2012 21:13

Fantastic, hope it works out for you. Good luck!

SpringHeeledJack · 05/05/2012 21:44

awww, best of luck to you

hope the sums work out!

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