What would be your deal breakers / ideals in a family house?

[IamSorenLorensen]

We are currently viewing 3 bed properties and as this is all new to me ( first time buyers in rented) I am a bit baffled by how you know if the house is right for you?

We have a toddler and hope to have another child before too long so aside from 3 (decent sized if possible) bedrooms, the other things on my list are:

Open plan kitchen diner
Good size garden
Garage and/or shed
Ample storage

Is there anything else that I should/could bear in mind when looking?

Do you really just know when the house is right and keep looking till that time or do you just go with the one that ticks most boxes?

All the ones I've seen so far don't have open plan kitchen/diner which I would really like.....and as we will be mortgaged to the max it will be a while before we can embark on any knocking down of walls etc....

This probably sounds a bit muddled and confused as that is where my brain is right now!

Any advice gratefully received, thanks, I just feel like I don't really know what I am doing!!

As I have more time I am doing viewings without DH at moment. I think it might be time to rope him in!!

I had a list of what I thought were deal-breakers and compromised on 3 of the biggies because we just loved the house and saw potential and felt we would be happy here. And we are!

We compromised on having 2 separate receptions - ours has a through lounge and we love it though I can really see the benefit of having the kids toys away from our entertaining/relaxing space.

We compromised on having a kitchen/diner. I thought I'd hate that. But we lived with a largish poorly laid out kitchen for a while and then extended to make a better kitchen plus dining space and I love it! Really, completely love it.

We compromised on parking - but I'd never do that again. Trying to find a space on a crowded road with idiot parkers wasting loads of space and then unload 2 kids and the supermarket big shop - I dream of a future without that!

Oh - and we THOUGHT the neighbours were lovely but they turned out to be fairly grumpy on one side which has caused a fair bit of hassle over work needing to be done etc.

In the end the house just feels like us. We've got a way to go to sort out decor and organisation and draughty floorboards etc but we feel at home here and did so immediately, despite the most garish, frightening colour scheme when we first walked in (all went as fast as we could manage it!). So I'm not sure I'd reject a house just because of my list any more.

I think for me the one thing I will not compromise on is parking. Which I know sounds ludicrous but I know so many people who have parking issues in their house.

I would want a private driveway, on my property on a road/street with a pavement in front of the house.
Quite a few of my friends have this sort of driveway which have created lots of problems:
<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&biw=1252&bih=548&tbm=isch&tbnid=qkjVN8qMtEAAsM:&imgrefurl=www.harrowtimes.co.uk/homes/homes_for_sale/in/Kenton,%2520Harrow,%2520Outer%2520London/from/30000/to/2000000/low-to-high/All/with/1/bedrooms/list/%3Fpage%3D1&docid=RkmwKoA_Scw-kM&imgurl=bb.promotor2.com/blackbox/media/271/803580_00.jpg&w=1000&h=750&ei=9eVwT_CRGcjP8gOGjN2_DQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=471&vpy=67&dur=1020&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=209&ty=78&sig=106320455189223598676&page=4&tbnh=152&tbnw=202&start=38&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:38" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&safe=off&sa=N&biw=1252&bih=548&tbm=isch&tbnid=qkjVN8qMtEAAsM:&imgrefurl=www.harrowtimes.co.uk/homes/homes_for_sale/in/Kenton,%2520Harrow,%2520Outer%2520London/from/30000/to/2000000/low-to-high/All/with/1/bedrooms/list/%3Fpage%3D1&docid=RkmwKoA_Scw-kM&imgurl=bb.promotor2.com/blackbox/media/271/803580_00.jpg&w=1000&h=750&ei=9eVwT_CRGcjP8gOGjN2_DQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=471&vpy=67&dur=1020&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=209&ty=78&sig=106320455189223598676&page=4&tbnh=152&tbnw=202&start=38&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:38

Or on the newer build estates they have one tiny parking space in a cul-de-sac with no pavements so the whole place gets filled up with cars and it feels really cramped and so many disputes about people getting blocked in. Or their driveway in in a block of garages not in front of the house and again there is lots of blocking in and it is a hassle chugging stuff from the driveway round the corner to the house.

Life is too short to be stressed about parking!

Our current house has a south facing garden and it really is lovely to have one, I didn't think about it when we bought it but it is so nice and sunny in the summer.

Are you sure about the open plan kitchen diner? What if you see yuor perfect house but it doesn't have that?

I'd be more focussed on finding a house with decent size rooms/bedrooms and then looking at what you change cheaply (knocking stud walls down or putting in small RSJs) once you've lived there a bit/when fiunds allow.

If you can, look into the future at what you can do with the house to make it perfect because 9 times out of ten, you'll keep dismissing hosues because they miss something from your list.

There may not be ample storage now because the current owners aren't great at seeing what they could have iyswim? However, there may be alcoves you could add cupboards to etc and shelving above doorways etc or you could move the current airing cupboard to make way for a bedroom restyle etc.

How long are you planning to live there?

If 5-10 years, then think about primary school catchment areas.

Not too many steps into garage/house etc which is a nightmare with a buggy and shopping bags.

Big bedrooms/lots of storage potential for all the plastic stuff that growing children collect

A big-as-possible safe/make safeable(?) garden

A safe street eg cul de sac for them to play out on scooters etc when they are a bit older

More than one loo

If you're staying for longer, even if you don't want to think about High Schools yet(!) a friend once gave me some good advice, which was check you are on a decent bus route so DCs can take themselves off to town /cinema/scouts etc without you having to be a taxi because of poor transport links rather than just their age!

Think what you're prepared to compromise on..we have a seperate kitchen and dining room, and no utility, but a massive safe garden for them to whoop around in and an extra bedroom/study/dump stuff here room

Thanks so much everyone, some brilliant tips and advice here.

Will write a list of essentials and desirables and keep an open mind as to what we could do in future to make the house "perfect".

Mumblechum :o

Location, location, location...

Then garden, schools and can you easily fit stairgates to the staircase(s).

We compromised on character by buying a 1960s house rather than a character semi or new build detached. Would never have been my ideal - but we got:

Massive windows that let in light (though you can't buy ready made curtains)
Driveway that accommodates 5 cars
Large, established gardens
5 bedrooms plus study (others had 4/5 including study)
Large rooms (our downstairs WC is bigger than our previous bathroom)

Never looked back!

Oh hang on, the point of the thread was deal breakers -

My deal breakers would have been a north or east facing garden (unless the east facing was exceptionally large)

No off street parking

The only thing that is 'essential' is a safe secure roof over your family's heads. Don't over mortgage yourselves and risk homelessness for the sake of a tick lust of niceties. You saying you plan a second child- can you afford mat leave/childcare on top of the mortgage if you are already stretching? What if you get pregnant with twins? What if one of you is made redundant?

We moved here when DD was 3 months old. Hence no idea about what is v important for young children and their mum!

This is what I wish we had thought of:

Downstairs loo
Drive
Decent sized garden

Fortunately very good school is very near- that was just luck though!

I am one of life's optimists where my forever home is concerned - probably why we have been looking for 3 years (and ours is nice so no real need to move!)

porch for dirty shoes
downstairs loo for no toilet queues
utility room to hide the ironing mountain
ensuite
garden with dog leg type area to hide tramoline, climbing frame swing
south/south west garden
2 reception rooms
Kitchen diner with space for sofa
4 double bedrooms (one each and a guest room)
safe for kids to walk to friends - for kids and tipsy adults!
on an bus route to local village/town so not always ferrying the teens around!
and all in my budget of course!

oh yes forgot to add...

• driveway for 2 cars and space for guests to park ( I suppose one day it will be 3 cars given that it appears our kids will never leave home in this current climate!)

• big windows - ours are all 2m wide - lots of light on even a dark day like today

• nice neighbours - lucky there

Must haves
I must be able to afford it and still have a life. There is no point having a wonderful house and not be able enjoy it and have money to go on holidays or worry about the payments.

Nice to haves
40-60ft garden
West/South facing garden 40-60ft
Like to have a kitchen dining room

I came at it with 3 children under 5, the fact that we were paying a large amount of stamp duty and moving expenses which I didn't want to repeat. It might not be our forever house, but its definitely our "next 10-15 years" house.

I therefore would not have compromised on location, and for me, the location was driven by catchemnt for primary schools and secondary schools. Wanted family area, lots of amenities, walkable to library, park, cafes, restaurants.

I would also not overstretch yourself for the long term to get a few "nice to haves". Yes, you might have to overstretch yourself whilst you're paying nursery fees/ on maternity pay, but work out what you can afford for the next 10-15 years.

My other must haves were a decent garden - wasn't really bothered which way it faced as long as there was plenty of room to play. I also realised in my preferred location that we weren't going to be able to afford the size of house that we wanted so the other must have was that it had to have potential to extend.

I got my "must haves" but compomised on everything else.

For what its worth, my perfect family house would have :

1. Large kitchen diner large enough for big table and sofa
2. Separate lounge
3. Utility room
4. A bedroom each (and if I'm having a wish list, a guest room too)
5. A decent sized garden

Good luck :-)

My absolute must haves are:

1. Location within a good school catchment area.
2. Village / Market town location. (Have lived in large towns in the past, wouldn't do it again).
3. Attached garage (needed for possible conversion / storage)
4. Off road parking for the car.
5. Kitchen Diner
6. Must have an upstairs bathroom and a downstairs loo.
7. Layout of house. I hate wasted space so would prefer fewer bigger rooms, than a big hall and lots of small rooms. I like the feeling of space.

My deal breakers would be:

1. Poor location and bad school catchments - I wouldn't even bother to view these houses.
2. House with no off street parking.
3. A large garden. Hate gardening - a smallish but decent patch is good enough for me.
4. No room to extend. I always like the idea of this, even if I've never done it!
5. Victorian / Edwardian clone houses. No they don't have 'character' - they're all the bloody same! And I generally don't like the layout of these houses.
6. Downstairs bathrooms.
7. Lack of downstairs loo. I would never buy a house without one.

Completely not fussed by:

1. Age of house. I don't care whether its 1810, 1910 or 2010 - its the plot, layout etc that counts for me.
2. direction of the garden. Last two houses have had north west facing gardens, and I actually preferred those to the south facing one we had before - they weren't too shady but not too sunny either.
3. Conservatory - can't really see the point in them. I certainly wouldn't pay extra for one (I'd rather have an extra proper room tbh).

Oh and I forgot...

Absolute Must have: A road where the children can go out and play outside. Therefore a house on a main road would be a deal breaker for me.

Deal breaker: Mid Terraced house - I would buy end terraced houses, but I don't like having neighbours on both sides.

Must-haves: nice neighbours. Makes all the difference in the world; being able to walk back in the dark without feeling threatened. We previously lived on a vear vear exclusive road but one where I never felt safe to walk along at night because it was so dark and quiet.

deal breakers: boxy rooms that can't be remedied; no loft (nowhere to put all the junk); would probably be put off by a victorian house owing to associated maintenance issues and difficulty/ cost to heat.

Dealbreakers for me:

Noise pollution of any kind
Dog shit
Litter
Too many trees surrounding the house
Stepping from your front door into your sitting room
Light pollution (a street lamp or traffic lights outide my bedroom window would be horrible)

Thanks for all the recent posts-lots more to consider.

Deal-breakers (largely based on things that bug me about our present house):

Open-plan living - noisy, nowhere to hide from Dcs, nowhere for them to do their own thing without disturbing everyone else
Inadequate parking
Attached neighbours
Small garden
No fireplace/nowhere to put an open fire or log burner

"I once bought a house because it smelled nice and the owners were playing the Girl from Ipanema"

makes mental note to have this playing during next viewing..

Deal breakers:

Location - in town or estate is a no-no
terraced - no
new build - in our price range, these are all too crowded together
bad primary catchment (funny how quickly this matters!)
small garden/ no good dog walk.

loves: next to fields,
large kitchen or potential for one
good size lounge
lounge and bedroom not next to next doors (hearing our neighbours snore: not good, having them hear our telly =also not good)
good off road parking.
bedroom large enough to have a king size double and get dressed in!

nice to have: good secondary (will be essential in 5-6 years time)

had i written this for first house the list woul dhave been short -

deal breaker: estate, new build, not backing onto fields, terraced
loves: um.....not walking straight into lounge from outside.