How long to wait for the perfect house?

[Rhubarbgarden]

We have been watching the market for the past couple of years, looking seriously and doing viewings for about a year now. We are being picky, I know that; we have a list of requirements that few houses fulfil (within our budget). Recently though I have started to get a bit sick of DH's policy of wanting everything to be perfect - there have been several houses now that I would be very happy to buy and make compromises on aspects that aren't ideal. But DH is still ruling places out because they are 'the wrong type of Georgian' (he is the one insisting on Georgian or early Victorian) or he's 'not keen on the staircase' etc etc. I'm getting increasingly frustrated. His argument is that he doesn't want the expense of moving again, or at least not for the next twenty years or so, so we have to get it right. My fear is that we will be waiting forever for this mythical perfect house and will end up stuck where we are for the rest of our lives (DH's secret plan? Possibly...).

So my question is, did anyone else have success with sitting tight and waiting for the right house to come along, and if so, how long did you have to wait?

I think the question is does the perfect house exist? I know lots of fabulous houses I'd give my right arm for, but I can always think of something negative about it.

I've seen some of your other posts and you are looking at some very stunning houses (I'm still dreaming about the one with the lake ), but I think with houses like that you will almost always have to adapt it in some way to make it perfect.

My father spent years looking for a perfect house and in the end did a self build (I know you want an older house).

I would work out what your non negotiable points are - location, size etc and try and get your DH to look at the bigger picture - to see what you could make the house. Staircases can be replaced by skilled crafsmen using old fashioned techniques, or you could reclaim one from somewhere and put that in as an example.

Or is there a middle ground, could you move now into an intermediate house, that is still wonderful while you wait for your forever house. Yes moving is a pain but if you lived there for say 10 years your DC would still get to grow up in your forever house and you will be in a different place in your lives and maybe want different things.

Ah, that lake, that lake! Yes we have looked at some stunning houses. This is what is annoying me. Today I took him to see a Georgian house with a decent sized garden, in a quiet, pretty street that was both five minutes from a very nice high street full of interesting shops/delis/eateries and five minutes from a path going up into the Downs. Good schools, short walk to a station. What, for gods sake, was there not to love??? I thought I had finally delivered the perfect specimen. Ta-da! But no... He just 'didn't like it enough'. Aaaaargh.

So it's not even about non-negotiables. I've tried to get him to choose what he will compromise on and he just won't compromise on anything. I think he feels that it's such a massive lump of money he should be able to get what he wants. He thinks eventually it will come along and we just have to wait. But for how damn long, that's my worry. He won't entertain the idea of moving somewhere temporarily - I've tried that tack. He's not normally this stubborn, I can usually railroad persuade him to do what I want, but as far as houses go he's turned into a veritable mule.

We looked for just over 12 months before a suitable house came up for sale in our perfect location and then had to wait another 4 months for probate to come through before we could complete the purchase. However, it is a full on renovation project - rewiring, replumbing, new kitchen, new bathrooms - the whole works. Not a bargain - we paid the asking price (and had to beat off other people with a stick!) but we feel that it's a fair deal due to the fact that houses and plots of this size in this location come on the market rarely (first time in 35 yrs!) so we are actually really chuffed. We were also starting to despair at the lack of decent housing stock coming on the market (also started to think that we were perhaps being too picky like yourselves). We also had the advantage of being no chain buyers having already sold and moved into a rental due to job relocation. Repeat the mantra - Good things come to those who wait!

There is also the fact that with this economic situation there will be more houses coming up that might not otherwise, as people can no longer afford them/lose jobs etc.

Is this because your DH actually wants to stay where you are, or does he want to move and is just that picky?

Can you throw a wobbly fit of hormonal crisis that you can not possibly live there a second longer? Only joking a bit

Sounds like you are a satisficer and he is a maximiser - does he tend to be like this with other purchases too, lots of checking of which? reports and online reviews etc?

And given that there probably is no such thing as the absolutely perfect house, since the house in your DH's imagination will always be that little bit more perfect than whatever the estate agent comes up with, you are probably going to have a very tough time coming to an agreement.

Maybe you need to discuss it (possibly along with a discussion of your different decision-making styles a la satisficer/maximiser divide) and see if you can agree to a time limit, maybe as much as another year or two, before he has to agree on a compromise house.

It is also possible that due to the state of the economy, fewer houses are coming onto the market at the moment, so there may be an argument for waiting a while longer. However, there is no sign at the moment that things are going to get any better, possibly only worse for the next few years...

Myron thanks that gives me optimism. A doer-upper is fine, preferable even, as long as the purchase price leaves us with enough cash to do the doing-up.

Oreo I have been throwing a few hormonal pouts around, especially this evening! He does want to stay where we are in the sense that he loves our current house. He wants the same thing in a different location; well that's unlikely to happen.

Exexpat normally we are both satisficers. It's not like him to be so finickity. I think a time limit is a good idea; in any case I want to be settled by the time we have to register dd for a school, so he's got about another year. Then the pouts will escalate to full scale wobbles, make no mistake.

Ha! I sympathise- my DH turned down a house because he didn't like the lack 'lines of sight'

I think we'd both have to be paid ten times substantially more than we are in order to buying a house with any lines of sight inside!

We have been looking now for 12 months, viewing intermittently when things we like come up, but nothing has so far ticked enough boxes.
I am getting fed-up now though, and am ready to plump for any old thing. There is just a severe lack of homes coming onto the market where we are.

Initially we probably missed a few that were below our radar, but we quickly cottoned onto that and widened our budget range. We've viewed most places that have potential - DH has had to be dragged to some and then been pleasantly surprised, although not enough to want to buy them.

We've had a proper discussion about it today and agreed to park it for six months till the new baby has arrived and we are past the initial sleep deprivation stage. Also there may be some big changes coming up at DH's work and we should wait to see what happens there before any big financial commitments. THEN, I will be piling on the pressure and making no excuses! And hopefully more properties will have come on the market by then too. [optimistic]

It took us quite a few years of active looking to find our house. I think your perfect house is out there, so don't compromise yet. And the longer you wait, the more prices will fall and the more for you to choose from, especially given your budget

Good luck! I love the housing hunting stage. Full of passion and frustration and frissons of anticipation