Small flat near great school, or whole house near ok school and friends

[threeleftfeet]

What would you choose?

Option a: small flat in lovely, beautiful historic part of town, neat the most amazing primary school (Ofsted outstanding, but more inportantly we loved it when we visited)
Bad points: no garden, small, would have to get rid of lots of stuff! In an conservative area (large and small C!) which is not us at all. Not by the sea.

Option b: victorian house with garden in neighbouring town by the sea. Space for a study. Garden! The town suits me and DP much better. Very arty and interesting, and lots of our friends live there, and lots more people who we feel are like us! We would have a lovely home life here, and lots of trips to the beach! DP would have a much shorter journey to work.

Bad points: Primary School Ok / average, definitely not amazing.

If we choose option b, DS would miss out on the wonderful start the other school would offer. But do you think having a garden to at with and lots of friends and an interesting, fun homelife would balance that?

If it was just me and DP I'd be in town b like a shot! But is it fair on DS?

This is not easy!

The house, no question. With the right support at home your ds will thrive anyway

house

In this situation - house.

I went to what was realistically an average/poor primary school myself but thrived with the help of my parents and actually enjoyed it there loads!

Thanks for the replies :)

See I was really keen on town b. and were only half considering town a, until we saw the school. It's just amazing!

Then I felt like I was being greedy wanting the house (and the flat wouldn't be that small really!)

How much does your primary school make a difference I wonder?

Clayhead that's good to hear :)

Although interesting you say "In this situation - house" I can't help asking - what situation would sway you towards the flat?

We stayed small. I always joke that it saves us having to downsize when we retire as we have a lovely home in a fab location!

House. Had a flat with noisy neighbours and I'd never live in a flat again. And I don't think primary school makes a huge difference. What's the secondary school like? It may seem a long way away now but seems to come more quickly than you expect...

tiny You have to remember that schools can go from satisfactory to outstanding in between Ofsted reports (so like 3 years). So it's not the be-all or end-all. We had the same dilemma and we ended up going for the bigger house near okay school option than the pokey house but near outstanding school. The good news is that the okay school that DS1 will mostly likely get into has just join the federation of 2 other outstanding primaries in the area and we are hoping that will make a real difference. And we love our new(ish) house!

Decent secondaries in both places.

House - no question.

It's not the Ofsted rating so much as we visited it and it was just amazing, and the ethos is very much in tune with our own ideas on education and childcare.

The other one was OK, but lacking on so many levels when you compare them.

House without a doubt

house and FRIENDS. it's only primary school, you'll do most of the hard work round your own kitchen table.

The flat

I think that house is definitely the option because of the way you talk about the whole package - beach, friends etc - it's not just about the house. Compare it to wahwahwah who although describes her home as small, it's a 'lovely home in a fab location!' You don't seem to talk about option A in those glowing terms and IMO that's what makes a house a home - loving it.

Agree with comments regarding schools too - they can change and it's a happy homelife that will influence a child the most. (not that I'm suggesting for a moment that you won't have a happy homelife in the flat, you just sound more excited by the whole lifestyle of option B - as would I!!)

The house - school standards move up and down, teachers leave, there can be a difficult combination of children within a class etc etc

House house house. If you are happy living in town b, with lots of arty and cultural things to do which you love, then your ds will thrive regardless of the school he goes to.

Definately house, it just sounds like it is where you 'should' be (as in you describe town b as the one that suits your personalities)

those who are saying flat, am curious, do they live in houses or flats currently?

I'd deffo make my decision based on secondary schools. You won't believe how quickly (age 7/8 I'd say) that starts to preoccupy you.

I lived in a teeny 2 up 2 down in nicest bit of our quite urban area near outstanding primary school. The claustrophobia and sheer drudgery of keeping it tidy (otherwise you can't live) nearly split us up - and tbh the school, as a lived experience was Not All That By Any Means.

If it was just me and DP I'd be in town b like a shot!

Says it all really!! You can make choices based on what's best for you even when you've had a child! And it's not like you're planning on sending him to somewhere awful.

the house, every time

school is just school. I say that as a primary school teacher too.

and as BLNN your own happiness has an enormous amount to do with EVERYTHING. And all those other arty nice people like you who already live there must be sending their kids to that not-great school, no?

HEY LINDSAY!

Agree, defo the house. Sounds great! Also sounds like you would all be happier there which is the most important thing for your DS.