Advice wanted - buying a house with my mum

[dollymixtures]

The idea is she will sell her house, we'll sell ours and then we pool our resources to get somewhere with an annexe for mum. How do we do this - I'm sure there are legal/ tax ramifications we haven't considered like what happens when mum dies (she's 72)? Do we buy as tenants in common (as me and DP are currently)? How do we split the ownership - her contribution will be well in excess of ours?

Basically, has anyone done this and what do we need to know before we get too far down the road of falling in love with beautiful houses?

Oh, I can't add anything I'm afraid but we are in the process of doing the same thing with my parents and are fairly clueless so I await your replies in anticipation!

Are you sure your Mum thinks the same about what is going to happen?

We thought we'd do the same as you, but it turned out that by 'pooling our resources', what Mum meant was that we should buy the house and she'd bring all her furniture, china and accumulated bric-a-brac.

She contributed nothing to the house purchase and still contributes nothing to the mortgage. But in the end I decided it may be just as well not to be financially involved with her.

Considering the strain that moving in together put on us all, I'd say it's essential to get legal and financilal advice - and she should as well, from a separate solicitor.

Are you an only child? Is it likely that on her death your Mum would want to split her assets between more people? Just trying to ascertain what would happen if she part-owned the house and left her share or part of it to someone else, for example.

There may also be implications for inheritance tax, depending on how big the numbers are.

Plus potential issues around everyone guaranteeing that other parties can't sell the house without their consent etc....

I think it is worth going to see a solicitor to run through those things (and the ones I've not thought of)

You say DP so there would be three people with an interest in the house.
What if you and DP split?
What if your mother became infirm and went into a home?
What if any of the parties wanted to move and release their equity in the home?
I would be concerned that although things would start off well, changes in circumstances would make you regret the move. Do you want to become the carer for your mother in any way? Add on 15 years. you are older, possibly retired and your mother is a frail 87 year old.
the relationship with your partner would inevitably come under strain because of the presence of your mother. His "MIL".

Wow, thanks for the responses, I was expecting to have to bump this!

A few more details might be useful I suppose. I'm an only child and mum has no other close family. She and DP get on fantastically well (he has said she is the only parent on either side he could imagine living with) and she has been hugely supportive of us in every way, although her generosity brings its own issues. There would need to be ground rules agreed beforehand about respecting our parenting choices (when it comes to confectionery she's basically a toddler ) and our budget - she is in the fortunate position of not needing to worry about anything vulgar like y'know the cost of stuff .

7to25 those are all the questions I've pondered myself. I think me and mum see this as a way of avoiding the need for a care home but I don't think we're being realistic. I can't imagine we would ever want to move but I'd be interested to know how others have dealt with this issue.

rascal79 how far down this road are you then? Do people think you're mad too

My Mum suggested this arrangement (I am an only child too) and I told her there was a snowballs hope in hell! I love my Mum and we get along, but only when we don't live with each other.

If your Mum has enough cash in her bank is there any way you could get a carer in instead of putting her in a home when it comes to it?

I have many other thoughts, but you may answer them along the way.

I think it's a lovely idea. I've already told DD that we are going to do this when she gets married and she's only 7 at the moment

I know it's stating the bleeding obvious but you should consult a solicitor before going any further as legal agreements and wills will need to be drawn up between the three of you. Friends of ours bought with their parents and the legalities were not as straightforward as they'd thought but it all worked out well.

You will also need to consider what would happen if you predeceased your mother.

Thanks all, am now in bed with mother of all colds so apologies for typos/ random nonsense/ spelling!
gonzo33 a carer would be one option but she would still have to move. She's currently a 2 HR drive from us and now that she's on her own, she (and I) wants the security of knowin that I'm close. She still works virtually Fulltime and has a good social circle - her giving that up is one of my Major worries.

Nurofen is calling but will check back in soon.