Please tell me how to make my bedroom a calming oasis

[tutu100]

I have mental health problems and part of my treatment is learning to relax and do relaxation excersizes. My room is currently far from relaxing as it is cluttered and a mish mash of colours. I am going to declutter so the room is tidy and looks spacious. I would also like to paint the walls and change the duvet covers.

What colours do people recommend? I was thinking maybe a pale blue, or duck egg. I don't want white walls as I think that would be to stark, but I did wonder about white bedding?

Will also have some scented candles about, but what else can I do to make it a more relaxing area and somewhere I want to be?

here are some ideas:

• Use lamps instead of overhead lighting (bit of a pain to go round switching them on, but worth it). If you can, install a dimmer switch on any overhead lighting. Use old-style bulbs rather than energy saving (or get the best energy saving ones you can find) so that you get a warm toned light rather than bright white.

• I agree with white bedlinen.

• Maybe a throw on the end of the bed in a "strokable" fabric, eg velvet or silk?

• Agree with decluttering. If you have a dressing table with lots of bottles/jewellery etc on it, how about some white basket type things to put these in, so they are less visible.

• I think a pale blue would be lovely. We've got a pale bluey grey on our bedroom walls (Little Greene company's French Grey Pale) and it is lovely and serene. (Or it would be if I tidied up...)

A place for you to relax and take time to recharge sounds like a great idea - I think a lot of parents take trouble over rooms for their children and then leave themselves with a room that's full of clutter and just feels unloved, so they have nowhere just to be themselves.

Is there a colour that you really like? Something that you've liked since you were a teenager, maybe? If so, I think you should choose that as your key colour, no matter what it is. Shocking pink? Bright red? Lime green? Then you can either use it as a really strong colour on the walls, with white bedlinen, perhaps, or have a quiet colour on the walls, with accents of your favourite colour in rugs and cushions. I think that will help you feel more like you're doing something for yourself.

What do you have on the floor? If you're not planning to replace that, then you'll need to work out something that will go well with it.

Grendelsmum, I've got a creamy beige carpet (with lots of stains!) so will clean that. So quite neutral so should go with most colours.

Minipie, I like the idea of a strokable fabric throw. I'm going to go and google your bed room colour now as well.

I guess I'm thinking kind of posh hotel calm (although not been in any of those so may have the wrong idea).

I agree with choosing a colour that you really like - or even an object that you love could be the starting point for your colour scheme. I much prefer doing that myself. And my theory is that only things with happy memories should be out on display. Of course, that theory is buried under clutter with the very things I wanted out on display so who am I to talk!

I love having the walls pretty clear and neutral with maybe just 1 or 2 photos framed, or a picture that makes me feel peaceful. Billowing lace/muslin curtains that filter the light work well for me - think about the textures you like.

If you plan to do your relaxation exercises lying on your bed, make sure you repaint the ceiling too - it does make a difference! If on the floor, well it sounds obvious, but a space big enough to do it, even if it means squashing other areas a bit. And an exercise mat.

I like Gentleness's suggestions.

What do you have in the way of photos or pictures or objects that really bring you happy memories?

Posh hotel rooms often seem to choose one very dramatic object - like a picture, or a sculpture, and then have things around it in a colour that is both intense and calm , like the duck egg blue you mentioned, or a coffee or mushroom colour.

Posh hotel rooms are often either beige or dark. I think a pale blue is a lovely colour in a bedroom - I have Farrow & Ball Blackened, which is a pale bluey grey - it looks fantastic. Yes to getting rid of clutter, and really nice soft lighting. Can you play music in your bedroom?

Pure white would be stark, but there are some gorgeous off-whites these days. I like Dulux Dulcimer, which has just the tiniest, palest hint of pink.

Steer clear of patterns, and make sure your furniture is sufficient to hold everything it needs to - yesterday's jeans draped over a chair or the end of the bed is not a relaxing look.

Personally I would avoid pictures of people. I find they can start trains of thought that stop you getting to sleep. One second you're looking at a photo of your lovely baby, the next thing you know you're worrying about where to send them for secondary school.

TV or puter in the room? Banish them.

Kindle excepted.

I thought of something else lying in bed last night. One reason we love our neutral walls and carpet is that we can change the mood of the room with quiet, classy, funky or whatever bedding. I have 6 double duvet covers for our 2 double beds and choose according to my mood each week. They range from expensive white, through calm blue/green patterns to bright orange/pink/red check and a cheap as chips funky Ikea one. So I can generally pick one that suits what my mood needs.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I haven't been in any posh hotel rooms, so I may not be describing what I want properly then, but I love the idea of having different textures in the room, and billowing lace at the window conjures up relaxing thoughts so that seems like a definate.

Nine Dragons I think the point you make about pictures is a good one. We have pictures of the kids and our neices and nephews in our bedroom and you are right they are not conducive to relaxing as looking at the REMINDS ME OF ALL THE IRONING OR THINGS TO PREPARE THAT i NEED TO DO. Sorry about the shouting ds2 just pressed the caps lock key!

I have a oil painting which I love as it is of a glen in a forest. I will get that reframed and have that on the wall instead.

I guess the main things are the decluttering and choosing a wall colour then, and having a few carefully chosen objects on desplay and candles.

Thank you all for your suggestions. Will post a picture once it is all done. (although that will probably be after christmas!).

Just be careful with the candles - house fires are NOT relaxing