Raising children in small properties...

[ilovegreenbeans]

I'm just mulling this over and would love any input/experience you have.

We have just moved to East Anglia from London and are renting while we look for a property that will be a home to raise our 2 DDs in.

DH and I have fallen in love with a beautiful period cottage in a delightful village just a few miles out of the nearest town. DH could cycle to work or cycle/train it easily. Schools are good. It's in our (fairly modest) price range. The problem: it's titchy. 2-bed, but just. Probably about 700sqft total. (Although it does have a lovely garden, and quite a reasonable size too, but no way of extending the property due to right-of-way access)

I'm not unused to this. Our previous place was tiny too, although we only had one small child there.

Does it get harder to live in smaller spaces as the children get older? How can it be done? We are quite minimal in stlye/lifestyle and willing to live without a lot of stuff.

If you take the view that stuff expands to fit the space you have to occupy it, then where do you draw the line?

Any ideas? Anyone done it?

nonononononono

Get us MUCH space as you can. My dc are 12 and 13. Trust me.

Ok, but what if your options are house you don't like the style of, but has more space or small home that you love the look of?

Maybe I'm asking if it can be done...?

I think it is definately doable and I would much rather live in a small period cottage that I loved rather than a larger modern property that I didn't.

How old are your daughters. The age gap may become a problem as they get older re sharing a room.

Is there room in the garden to have an office/study in years to come when one of you need to escape.

There's just 2 years between them. I would have them share even in a bigger house, I think. They always have. The room they'd share in this place is about 11'x13' so fairly big in my books.

Yes, there's room in the garden to build some sort of outbuilding eventually. It's probably about 50ft deep.

I wouldn't consider it tbh. Sharing a room is fine for younger kids, but once they become teenagers they may well want their own space.

But then I'm deeply boring and practical, and would rather have an ugly house that works for us than a pretty one that doesn't

It's easier than people think to change the look of a house - and much cheaper than buying a pretty one that's larger.

Giving dc their own space when they are older is essential for harmonious living...

I think if you can build in garden, then check out planning permission before buying. But if not, then don't.

Remember big garden is only as good as the weather!

Well, they're just babies at the mo really. So say we lived in it for 10 years... then they'd be 10 and 12- would you consider it until then?

Oh, and thanks for the responses so far. Lots to think about :)
How about stuff? How much stuff do children really need?

Has it got a loft..
I think it is doable and if you really want it then go for it..
I live in a tiny house and have divided one of the bedrooms so DD's have a tiny room each with very high wall cupboards for storage and mid sleepers with storage underneath..
I sometimes think I would like a bigger house but i am sure i would just fill it with junk, at least being small i try to clear out often!!!

I am sure you know this but children dont need lots of stuff. They often aquire lots of stuff but none of it is necessary.

Buy the lovely little cottage. I would much rather be happy in a quaint little cottage than depressed in a large modern box.

My grandparents live in similar (they have a teeny cottage from the 1600's near Saffron Walden)and they managed to raise 3 children - 2 girls and a boy in it.

I would love to live in house with such character - my only dislike with it is that the smaller bedrooms come off the main one.

I say go for it! The location sounds lovely - and let's face it, that's pretty important! It's affordable, your dh will have a good commute AND schools are good. The holy grail!! Your children are very small at the moment and so, as you suggest, you could always review the situation in a decade. We've fairly recently moved from a 1930s house back to a smaller victorian semi with our two small children and we are all loving it as the location suits us so well and we are very pleased with the schooling. No regrets. Good luck with your decision making.

Put a big shed in the garden

This can be their playroom/wendy house while they are smaller and a private space to play/gossip with friends as theu get older

Hmmm... yes...thank you, you've all been v helpful.

re: access, the cottage is in a row of cottages and the right of way runs along the side of the end one, then a narrow path along the back of all of them, if that makes sense. Seems to be used to bring bins out, and bikes into the gardens. Good for building an outbuilding :) We've checked and we would be able to build something. Thanks for the good ideas.

hello there! A dilemma I too have faced!

Dh and I live in a small 2 bedroom farmhouse and we have two boys aged 3 & 4. We are currently extending but had that not been possible, I fear we would have moved (which would have been heart wrenching - it is so wonderful here).

The main thing we feel we were missing is that our kitchen does not allow communal eating as a family or with friends. We HATE food on laps in the living room!. Another thing I am finding is that the "essential" kit just gets bigger and will not stop doing that until the little ones are men, and little no more! Stuff like outdoor coats, wellies, school bags, sports kit.

We do have acres of outside space - but whilst this is great for living - it is not great for keeping kit in!

I was less bothered by my boys sharing a room long term - but when they are 15 and 16 I can see that a tiny bedroom would just not accommodate kit and clothes, even if the fraternal relations stood up to the challenge. Good luck with your decision !

I think it can work but it does depend on how disciplined you are about storage and clearing stuff out. I would do it if there was a reasonable living area (like katy, I would want to have room for a dining table somewhere).

Cottages tend to have lots of nooks and crannies so, if it's under budget, I would invest some money in employing a joiner to create some very clever storage solutions. Lots of my family and friends in Italy live in very small flats and their children share bedrooms until adulthood, it is a cultural expectation that children have their own rooms here rather than a necessity.

sorry, pushka, not katy.

I think the saving grace is the garden as well as the fact that you could build on it. I live in a 2.5 3 bed back to back terrace with a v small yard outside and the walls are rapidly closing in on us and DS (15 months).

At least if we had a garden there'd be somewhere for him to get rid of a bit of energy that didn't involve leaving the house every single day even when I can't be arsed am tired from the night wakings!

Oh, this is all so helpful.

This cottage has been pretty stripped out and is nicely open plan downstairs which I really like. There is room in the kitchen for a table that we all can fit around- I think that's really important too.

I do worry that we will just feel pushed for space all the time. Tripping over shoes and coats constantly, book bags and lunch bags and stupid toys that start playing music when you trip over them in the middle of the night. But I guess that can happen anywhere.

Any toys that play music (or that make any noise at all) always tend to be lost in the move in my experience

I have friends with 4 kids in a tiny character cottage with a loft extension - they have a lot of storage, and are very disciplined about possessions, coats, toys, etc being put away. Seems to work for them!