How to move home and keep where you are moving secret?

[InterestedInMoving]

I am thinking ahead and I don't want estate agents to konw where I am moving to, how can I control that sort of information? I was thinking of telling them that I am relocating somewhere else or to rental to throw them off the scent. I don't want anyone knowing where I am moving!

I am also concerned about removal men letting slip as exp/nosey people in general, doesn't live with me, will know my removal day and all it takes is a slipped fifty!

Would I be better to slowly move smaller stuff myself with a man and van into storage, and removals from there to new home?

There is no point in moving if I can't control this and keep the info secret!

Also how do I make sure that the school does not pass on any information, I know of someone who works there who has links to people I know who know exp and she has been known when she worked in the junior school for nosing in paperwork she had no right to look at!

i have moved into a house & the estate agents had no forwarding address for the people who'd left, so that seems quite simple.

however, it seems the 'slipped 50' would be a bit too easy unless you're on the spot to direct people & watch them. could you contact a removal co & see if they'll quote on the basis of knowing mileage for the move, but you'll only hand out an address once the lorry is loaded & the crew on it, ready to go, or even meet part way for final directions?

re school: i'd meet with the head and make it VERY clear that any breach of confidence would be met with a legal suit, including the cost of a 2nd relocation and compensation for the emotional trauma. you don't have to tell the school where you're going, you can request any paperwork be handed to you when dc leave, carry it yourself & hand to a new school.

if ex is a serious worry, can you contact a women's charity, see if they have any practical ideas.

btw, oxfordshire is expensive.

If you can afford it, breaking the move into 2 parts, so a move into storage, then a further move into your new home sounds like a good plan. Explain to the company that there are DV issues (even if there aren't) that mean your storage address can't be given out - hope that the removalists will be sensible/protective of you enough so that they don't disclose it to anyone, even though its only a storage shed.

btw, i am assuming that there is a v serious need to keep things quiet, not just wanting to get back at ex by cutting the dc's out of his life. from your threads, it sounds that way.

The mileage re the removals sounds like a fab idea, thank you for responding xxx

I changed junior schools, the new one contacted the old one, so I thought that the same thing would happen again?? I will do as you ask.

I have no immediate or direct fear, it is despite therapy, I still don't feel safe as people can still do things, long story as they know where we live, and I need to start again to feel safe and to learn to trust again.

I could try women's aid, thanks for that.

I have been looking and I can afford oxfordshire.

Are there any good places/ bad places, good schools (secondary)/bad schools?

Last court order was for no contact, he not seen kids in years, not sent them anything in a long time and is remarried, he is done with them, and they with him.

I will inform family court that I am moving, just incase.

I guess someone at the moving company would have to know where you are moving too for charges and planning but I wonder if you could request that the actual movers that come to your home to move don't be informed until they are packed up and ready to ship out sort of thing. If it is a serious privacy issue, I think the moving company would respect your concern over nosey neighbours asking the movers where they're moving you to. As for the school, they should respect your need for privacy.

If you are renting, then many estate agencies will not release the deposit unless they have a forwarding address. Do you have a relative or someone whose address you could give?

To be honest, if you are keeping your children at the same school, then it will be very easy for people to find out where you live unless you never allow other children to come back for playdates etc. Even if your ex has no parental responsibility, if he knows that they go to a certain school, he only has to wait outside at 3.30 and follow you/them home. Sorry.

Re the school, the new school will have to contact the old school even if you are able to get all your dc paperwork. The school computer systems is the same throughout the country and your child's upn ( unique personal number)). Will have to be passed on long with information re attendance and test results. The only thing you can do is make sure that the old school knows that the information can not be given out to anyone who rings this is pretty common in child protection cases and wont be considered an odd request. I know you have said you were concerned about a member of staff looking at stuff she shouldn't, but I think that unless she works in the office she won't be able to find anything out as all paperwork has been handed to you and the chance of anyone else in the school being able to work the Aims computer system is very unlikely.

She does work in the office in the secondary school. In the junior school she was a smsa, and was found looking in the filing system in the secretaries office, she is NOSEY! School secretary, what is teh aims computer?

You need to speak to the HT re keeping info confidential.

The new school will definitely contact the old school for the records and as each child has aunique number then they can trace them back even if you do not give the new school the info.

If you have a current court order, I would share it with the current HT and the new HT. Perhaps the new HT can ask the old HT to personally send on your DC's info.

I have no court order for abuse, I probably should have, I have an old anti harrassment order?

The last family court order is no order for contact.

Sorry that should have said Sims. Not aims stupid android phone.. if she works in the primary as smsa then she should not be anywhere near the computers. I would mention her specifically to the head and also speak to the child protection officer in the primary school to let them know your concerns re her finding out and passing info on. Schools do talk to each other and need to do so but confidentiality and data protection must be paramount.

Have you got another address that can be used as a correspondance address for the school, eg close friend or family member? You could just say you are living there at present. Xxx

Rockchick old school wouldn't be interested in the new address all they will want to know is name and dfe number of new school to send the computer records on.