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Original poster

Anybody had cold feet over a property they were in the process of buying? Did you pull out?

20 replies

Fiddledee · 23/10/2010 19:33

I am secretly hoping the full structural survey will be atrocious next week... The house needs doing up, we went to visit it again and I am not sure I can face it. Everything needs work - we can afford to do up what is there but not to extend to give me a decent sized kitchen.

We have chosen this house over another which has all been done up as my DH will have a much shorter commute. However, I will probably have a longer commute to the DC's schools which could add potentially add 40 minutes to my day during term time.

My head says its a good investment but my heart says I would prefer to enjoy my little kids rather than do up a house. DH says it is livable but its me that is there all day living with it while he works/travels for work.

We will sell our current house and move into rental if it falls through not a prospect I relish either.

Anybody else pulled out at the last minute?

OP posts:
feedtheghoul · 23/10/2010 19:38

We had the same cold feet thoughts exactly three years ago.

We carried on regardless against our better judgement just because we were so far down the process.

We put it back on the market about three weeks ago at a loss on what we paid. We have also done a lot to the property too but we just haven't settled.

mamatomany · 23/10/2010 19:44

Right down to the day we exchanged contracts I felt "wrong" about selling a property and wish every day we hadn't, you have gut instincts for a reason, they are rarely wrong.

schipo · 23/10/2010 20:08

I did it - survived and didn't look back

purplearmadillo · 23/10/2010 20:33

We pulled out of a house and bought another one we had seen at the same time. DH loved the one we offered on but over a couple of weeks, I felt less and less sure and then convinced him we should pull out.

I felt very guilty about it but it was absolutely the right decision. The other house is still on the market 8 months later, probably down to the issues I was uncomfortable about. There were practical reasons why I told DH to pull out but really it was my instinct that it wasn't the right place for us.

As an aside, our last house needed lots of work. We did it and I loved the house in the end, but it took loads of time and it was hard work.

dejavuaswell · 24/10/2010 08:30

We once pulled out on a deal the day the contracts were due to be exchanged. It was announced that the village school was to be closed (after a purely nominal consultation process - as we assumed anyway).

It was the right decision.

1percentawake · 24/10/2010 20:10

We've pulled out of 4 houses in total (we are a sellers nightmare Hmm). I even had cold feet about buying the house we've just bought and still do in a way. But if we hadn't bought it we would never have bought anything at all and I just think nothing will ever measure up to my idea of a perfect house (in our price range anyway Grin).

I haven't regretted my decisions at all and think you are absolutely right to be questioning a house that needs loads of work Fiddledee. It really does take away from family time unless is your forever house in which case would be worth it long term?

moomiemoo · 24/10/2010 20:37

We have just pulled out on a house so I know what you're going through. The house was a slightly shorter commute for DH but a much longer school journey for me. With three DCs I tried to imagine doing that run there and back at least twice a day (3 times if they wanted to do after-school activities) for well over a decade - that soon cleared my mind! I also felt it was a bit isolated from a community and, since we're moving area, I wanted to be in the heart of things. It also needed some work.

We decided that, as long as the commute wasn't too bad for DH it, ultimately, had to be my decision. I'm at home until youngest DD goes to school in 5 years so I'm the one who's going to have to live with the practicalities of the location. I'll also have to be the one that has to plan my/dcs day around builders which can be a total nightmare.

We've since found something that's smaller but 3 minutes walk from the school - I know I'll be pleased at 8.30 on a cold winter's morning when we're getting ready to stroll down to the school gates. There's also nothing urgent to be done and we can live with it, event hough it's a bit smaller, in it's current state.

Go with your gut. I didn't in our current house and regretted it every day for the 3 years we have lived here.

Original poster
Fiddledee · 25/10/2010 07:02

I am not sure you ever know its the right house. Is it our forever house? I'm not sure, it could definitely be our last family home as its large enough and could be larger with an extension.

I've never bought a house that needed work and I live in a lovely house where everything works.

The new house needs a new kitchen extension, new bathrooms, rewiring, new boiler, new carpets, new ceilings/lights. Everything really.

How long the commute to school depends where my DC will go to school and we won't know that for at least a month for DD and a year for DS.

OP posts:
ScroobiousPip · 25/10/2010 07:14

Yes, a week before exchange of contracts (with completion being contemplated by the seller for the same day - they hated us). A below average survey and some title issues tipped us over the edge but really we had cold feet for other reasons. So, so glad we didn't buy it - we found a gorgeous empty place a week later and now (quite some time on) the fields around the old house are one, big horrid building site.

Yes, you have spent some money to date on surveys etc but probably only equivalent to 2 or 3 months of mortgage payments - not much in the grand scheme of things if you are planning to live there for the next 10 years.

Menagerie · 25/10/2010 08:35

Don't buy it. It's the biggest expense you ever have and it has to feel right. The right house comes with feelings of real joy and excitement as well as the stress.

It may be a cruel thing to do to the seller, but it's a much better decision in the long run to pull out of a house if you're not sure about it. Especially if it needs work. Falling down houses eat twice as much money as you expect, they don't feel like home for so long. It may be right for your DH but not for you. I'd pull out and keep looking, however unpleasant it is to do so. We were messed around by buyers and sellers for a year. Then we landed our dream house. All the other ones we tried to buy would have been big compromises and I'm so glad we held out until we walked into one that felt right within three seconds and got better with every room.

Piffpaffpoff · 25/10/2010 08:55

Don't do it!!! Trust your gut instinct. We recently decided to move because we saw a house we thought we loved. Got asking price offer on our house within a week then tried to buy the new one but couldn't agree a price and so didn't go ahead. We were upset, but that quickly changed to relief as we realised we had been about to make a HUGE mistake.

It was a very expensive lesson in trusting one's instinct but it was absolutely the right decision.

Original poster
Fiddledee · 25/10/2010 15:34

The question really is how long is a reasonable commute for DH to drive each day? I know I can make the house amazing with time and money but am worried about the money until the kids are older and I can go back to work. We can live in it now, and we can afford to do up all the house except the kitchen over the first year. I'm not sure any house is perfect really. It is probably our "forever" house, or at least 10 year house. Its so much easier buying a house when you dont have kids to consider, those were the days!

OP posts:
Travellerintime · 25/10/2010 21:43

Fiddledee,
We bought a flat despite me having doubts all along about whether it was right. Like you, I kept hoping some hitch would come along to stop the process. It didn't. We bought it - then sold up again 3 years later, losing money in the process. I think you should really listen to those gut feelings.

nothappywithhome · 26/10/2010 15:16

I had cold feet but continued with my house purchase. Now look at my other thread

Antoinette85 · 17/06/2017 13:12

Hi there
Nightmare. I've been in the same house on and off for 57 years, since I was a tot. It's a lovely house which fronts on to a fairly busy main road.
Thing is there are now plans to build 1500 new houses in the vicinity, so I thought it was time to sell up. An estate agent sent some people through before it went on the market and they fell in love - with the house. I've been umming and ahhing for a while and finally agreed to accept their offer in the last couple of days. They are over the moon, but I'm stressed out of my head! I don't really want to sell, but now that I've accepted their offer I feel duty bound to do the right thing, even though I've got cold feet. I can't imagine that house not being part of my life anymore and I know it will be a nightmare looking for something else. HELP! Feeling really anxious...

viques · 17/06/2017 13:19

Yes, it was a leasehold flat, I was having doubts about various things, but the letter from my darling solicitor telling me the sellers had decided not to sell was the happiest, smiliest day ever! I lost money over a survey, but it was cheap at the price.

SnowBallsAreHere · 17/06/2017 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

badgercat · 17/06/2017 13:36

I got cold feet and was so relieved when it all fell through - I shed lots of tears at the thought of leaving my current property when we were buying that house but with the one we are now buying I don't have any problem with the move!

Boredboredboredboredbored · 17/06/2017 13:39

ZOMBIE THREAD!

Redglitter · 17/06/2017 13:46

How the hell do people find these random threads. Wtf would possess you to resurrect a 7 year old thread

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