Extension life - I'm loosing the plot

[rebl]

We're now living in 1 room and the hallway and I'm going stir crazy. I can't get to the freezer or the fridge. I have no downstairs drains so no washing machine. The nearest laundrette appears to be 15miles away that I can find on yell.com. I can't wash up but there's almost no need for it because I can't actually feed us anyway because I can't get to the bloody food or any means of cooking it. DH just waltzes in from work at 6:30 every evening to dust and chaos with the kids killing each other and asks where bloody dinner is. I've told him I'm moving out now, I can't take any more. He won't let me get take aways, just says I can use the bloody microwave and then won't let me buy the only ready meals our ds can eat (multiple food allergies) because they're too expensive. So then says he can't see what my problem is. Quite frankly he can stuff it all up where the sun don't shine and he can manage the kids for 12hrs a day and deal with their demands and not be able to get a drink of water all day and then get a meal on the table at 6:30 for me that he's managed to cook in the non exsistant kitchen on the cooker that doesn't work during the day and with food that is thick in dust. Why he won't accept that we can't continue like this is beyond me. But then he just buggers off to work everyday and leaves me to deal with the builders and the kids and the dust.

Aaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh. Sorry for the rant but I really have reached the end of my tether.

I have a lovely extension, and if I'd known what kind of hell it would be, I would have stuck with the old lean-to.

What's the ETA with the builders? Take some of the angst out on them?

Any parents, friends, cousins you can move in with? Sod school for a couple of weeks. Any friends who would lend you their washing machine? This is what saved my life when we were living with no heating and no lights and one cold tap but no flushing loo.

Just to be clear, if you were anywhere near me in West Oxford I would happily do a few loads for you. But you can't be, as there's a launderette here.

We have another month. The kitchen isn't even being delivered for another 10 days and it won't be fitted on the same day will it. A couple of friends have just texted after seeing my FB status to say they'll feed us tomorrow and Wednesday and bring a load of laundry to put on whilst we're eating. I quite frankly can't cope anymore. I've just shouted at the builder for turning up at 8am this morning and not shutting the bloody door before starting to knock down a fireplace so that my whole living room (the 1 and only room we're living in) is now caked in dust. I've also shouted at him about the fact that 2 weeks ago I complained about no washing facilities and he promised me he would sort it and he hasn't. He said make a list of all the things and he'll work through them tomorrow. But tbh I couldn't give a flying &^ right now. Its all too late. I just can't find anywhere to move to. Maybe we'll have to ditch school and go to my parents for a bit (200 miles away). I'll speak to school in the morning. We're only talking reception so what can they be missing? A bit of play and some phonic work.

maktaitai No, we're no where near West Oxford but thank you.

Just go to your parents - one month of Reception, big deal! Though actually it sounds as though 2 weeks would be enough, to get the kitchen in. (Just to warn you, the school may give your children 'unsatisfactory attendance' but do you care? DS got it for 2 weeks off for chicken pox.) To egg it up slightly you could say your children are coughing because of the dust and you are concerned for their health. TBH I would put the children in the car and go tonight! But it would be calmer to go in the morning, after you've had a discussion with your dh. God, the misery. I'm allergic to plaster dust so I spent four months with itchy eyes.

You're going to have to speak to the builder every day, though without you to make dinner, your dh may get on the case slightly more.

Snap ...... We moved a fridge into the hall and put a microwave on top and then DH brought a box thing that is an oven and has 2 ring stoves on top... it does work and has been a life line. I would take the DC to mums for a couple of days and see how DH fares and then ask him to help you get a more organised.... we have 4 more weeks to go aghhh

I feel for you. We're just coming to the end of our building works, and we've been coping with toaster/microwave/griller/steamer in our dining room for what seems to be weeks now. It hasn't been too bad regarding dust because the building work was contained at one end of the house.

But: there's just the two of us here now (as our children have long flown the nest) and we have smart and lovely workmen. So we really don't have anything to complain about, and certainly if we did it would be much much less than you. And yet it's still a stressful situation.

Take yourself and your DC off to your parents for some R&R, and leave your DH behind in the hope he'll get a bit more in touch with reality.

This thread REALLY scares me as we are starting an extension next year and I have 4 DC and no where to move out to.

Am now thinking of the option of moving us all into a 2 bed flat or something for 2 months, would that be an option? Do people rent flats for 2 months. Failing that it's a caravan.

DP thinks everything will be fine, we will cope fine, they are ripping through every room practically apart from the one of the DDs bedrooms, the main bathroom, our en-suite, the downstairs toilet and the lounge (although we are getting French Doors put in there).

Do you think they could "do" our new utility room up enough to plumb the washing machine in and have running water before they rip out the kitchen and knock down a wall?

sweetkitty, it does sound less awful if you are still going to have 3 toilets! the utility room option sounds a potential goer, or do you have a launderette nearby, or a relative whose washing machine you can use?

You can certainly go for a short-term let, they do exist (at a price) though 4dcs in a 2 bed doesn't sound like much fun. We got lent houses by wonderful kind friends - that can be an option if you have the work done in the summer holidays. Actually the bit that was most fun was staying in a Travelodge for 2 weeks as no housework!! but with 4DC that would be harder work.

There isn't really a way to make it easy but ours took 9 months in total with 7 months out of the house and it was terrible. the extension really is great though.

I lived in a hotel for 3 weeks (couldn't match our completion dates) and lots of very lovely friends let me use their houses for laundry and just taking time out.

Plus some lovely people also fed us.

Rebl if you are anywhere near me, you can happily come here (I'm in Leeds) use my washing machine and tumble drier and I will make you cups of tea while you vent

It is horrific living in a build. I agree looking at having a short break in a travel lodge or premier inn may help your sanity.

We already had 3 toilets and could have made one bigger but thought 3 was enough for one house (architect was trying to get us to have another Jack and Jill) but that's just overkill.

Was thinking OK 4DC in a 2 bed flat would be hard but would it be better than living through a build with the dust etc.

No relatives to help out, have starting informing friends I am planning a rota of coming round theirs every afternoon and will be bringing washing with me lol

Thank you everyone, no one here near me I don't think . DH has agreed to ready meals at long last . The builder has sorted the washing machine now but we now have no washing up facilities. Its impossible .

Oh rebl sorry to hear this.

DH AGREEING to ready meals, my DP is grateful IF he gets a ready meal on a normal day!

I think you need to beg, steal and borrow from friends. I would even think about cheap basic disposable cutlery and there would be a lot of takeaways being eaten and we would be going for the cheap week day deals at Pizza Hut etc need must at a time like this.

I think you've been unlucky, rebl. Our lovely builders have temporarily installed the sink and cooker in the utility room. We haven't been without them for more than a few hours,and the washing machine is still plumbed in.

For anyone else having work done, ask your builders what they can do at the quotation stage. It's bound to be cheaper than moving out.

Can't get round the dust and dirt though. Even with boarding and dust sheets, it still gets through.

rebl You have spoilt him and you know it, some nights my DH has a peanut butter sandwich and is grateful.

rebl can you try and get the builders to sort out a basic temporary kitchen, as Butterbur has?

If you have a sink and some kind of oven/hob it would make your life much nicer while the work is being done, even if its a very basic gas ring or mini oven like this (which you could sell on ebay afterwards)
www.amazon.co.uk/Russell-Hobbs-14552-litre-capacity/dp/B001FB6X1S/ref=pd_sxp_grid_pt_0_2

I've lost the plot completly. The labourer has done significant damage to the neighbours conservatory which the builder has obviously said he will fix. So I then decide to buy them some flowers to say thank you for being so understanding and they were rotten . Thats worse than giving them nothing . The builder dropped a hammer and broke the bathroom sink. We have a friend who randomly has a spare bathroom sink we can have which we like so thats fine but yet another problem. Then the electrician has not bothered to turn up for 2 days so the plasterers have been delayed by 2 days. We have no hot water because the boiler has decided now is the time to break. And to top it all off my ds has managed to loose a bit of essential education equipment for him that is worth hundreds of pounds but is about 1cm cube and it could be over the area of at least 2miles. A friend has commented that if it wasn't for bad luck we wouldn't have any luck right now.

Anyway, I bought some children readymeals that are homemade and sold in local farm shops today and the kids yummed them up. DH thought they were lovely and considering they're only £1 to £1.50 more than the Tesco ready meals for the family portions he's said I can go and get some tomorrow. Thet do a large range that can be microwaved. He's also promised that we can go to a carvery on Sunday. We've also called on a lot of friends this week.

The living conditions here are poor to say the least. The house is not a home. I got only 4hrs sleep last night, worrying so much about how we're going to continue like this. We've got Centre Parcs booked for half term so thats definatly something to look forward to.

OMG Rebl I have only just seen this thread, I'm sorry you are going through such a hellish time. Your living conditions sound like a nightmare! Can you cook on a camping stove even some nights? Takeaways & microwave meals are probably the best option though. Hopefully it won't feel hellish for much longer and your friends can help out.

Fingers crossed things get better for you this week.

Sounds hellish. Did you not go to you parents? I would.

And I would tell your DH in no uncertain terms to take a flying leap on the subject of ready meals.

Also - if the builder broke the sink surely he should be sorting it?

No we didn't go to my parents. It was made abundantly clear by the teacher that it was not the done thing. But I don't get it, we're allowed to take 10days holidays in term time but I wonder if you have to give notice or something?

The plasterers are nearly finished. We've got at least another week or more of no kitchen. I've now got ready meals in and DH can shove it all where the sun don't shine. I'm in control of the extension budget and I have all the money for it so I'm using that. Admittedly he's been better since this weekend when he announced we could have a roast and I told him he could cook it. He gave up when he couldn't get the oven on - durrr, thats one of the major reasons why I'm not cooking! So he took us out for a lovely meal at our favourite restaurant instead . Moaned about the bill though! He might not be so impressed when he finds out the way we're affording the extra expense out of the extension budget is him digging the soakaway so that we don't have to pay the labourer to do it .

I know we'll get to the end and it will all be worth it but I'm not coping at all well with it. Just back from the GP because my migraines have got worse and he's sure its stress related.