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Original poster

Would you be comfortable with your kids in ground floor bedrooms if you were on 1st floor?

45 replies

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 07:09

So we've been househunting for months. Yesterday saw an amazing place we love, BUT, with one big drawback:

it's a barn conversion so has an unconventional layout - 3 smallish bedrooms on ground floor at front of house, master bedroom on 1st floor.

dc are 9, 2, and 8 months.

dh doesn't think there is any issue with dc sleeping downstairs if we are upstairs - but i think i would be worrying all the time about security... there's no way i would sleep in a ground floor room with a window open, let alone children? and even if i locked the windows at night, i still don't know if i would feel relaxed about it?

what do you think? am i over worrying?

OP posts:

belgo · 12/09/2010 07:12

I wouldn't like to sleep on a different floor to my children when they are small - I couldn't sleep for worrying. I need to feel close to my children.

But that's just me, maybe other people just don;t worry so much.

You have to feel comfortable in a house.

CheerfulYank · 12/09/2010 07:26

Ok, in the US the ground floor is the first floor so I'm confused. :)

Where is the house? Is it in the country? Because it wouldn't be as much of a worry to me if it was. I think I could do it if my DC were on a higher floor than me, but I'd still probably put alarms on the windows.

Original poster

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 07:26

hmmm, ok, so it's not just me - i can't really give dh a rational explanation for why it's a problem, but i just feel uneasy about it...

OP posts:

Besom · 12/09/2010 07:27

Maybe if you fitted alarms (smoke and burgular)?

IHeartKingThistle · 12/09/2010 07:29

Honestly, no, sorry. I'd probably be OK the other way round - if the master bedroom was a loft conversion for example - but I don't think I could properly relax with dc downstairs.

If you think it's the house for you, though, that's a different story. Don't let the amount of time you've been house-hunting affect your opinion though!

Original poster

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 07:37

cheerful - well we're moving out of London so anything feels like the country to me... but it's at the end of a country lane with about 7 other houses around it. There are lots of points of access to the ground floor through 3 sets of french doors, kitchen door, utility room door etc. And one of the bedrooms has french doors which lead into the front garden.

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 12/09/2010 07:38

Unlike lots of other 'risks' which are negligible, the risk of 1) fire and 2) burglary are much higher and cannot be ruled out, the risks are high enough that people are insured against these things. Ie they do happen.

fire. most commonly in the kitchen. Which I am presuming is on the ground floor. This risk can be minimised with proper 30min fire doors which would need to be closed at ALL times when the kids are asleep, so as to ensure you had a full 30 min escape route. How practical would that be do fit if not there, and to ensure were closed all the time?
burglary. Burglars are opportunists for the most part, so this risk is minimised by ensuring all windows are closed completely. There are some burglars who are able to open window on that are open on the security setting, so that is not advisable if the room is occupied at night. Not all burglaries take places at night, they take place when it seems the property is either unoccupied or when they think the occupants will not hear them/when they are already out and about. So, nights are common as they would presume (given that many of them are under the influence of substances so have clouded/no thought intelligent thought process) that the sleeping accommodation is upstairs. It will be dark, and any movement will spook them, they would not be able necessarily to differentiate between a dog, a small child and an adult. Some burglars DO carry weapons. Double glazing and security measures such as alarms do of course reduce this risk significantly, although an alarm is not always a deterent if they go in, and out of one room quickly. They do not enter through the front door!

You need to consider not just these risks, but how you will feel about these risks and if you can manage them enough to sleep knowing your children are protected.

ajandjjmum · 12/09/2010 07:39

It would worry me too - although I know it's probably ott.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 12/09/2010 07:44

It happens quite a bit round here due to the style of the houses. DS (7 today) sleeps downstairs. I guess it would have been more logical for DD to be downstairs as she is 11 but it just worked that way.

He has a monitor in his room that acts as a nightlight but I can talk to him if I need to. His room is at the back of the house and in the event of a fire he'd climb out onto the deck.

This has just started a dicussion between DH and I about swapping their rooms over as now DD stays up later we're disturbing DS when he's trying to sleep.

Original poster

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 07:44

the obvious 'solution' is to put ds1 upstairs and us sleep downstairs with the 2 littlies. but seems a bit pointless buying a house in which we get the smallest room and a 9 year old gets the lovely big room with beautiful ensuite etc!

OP posts:

PavlovtheCat · 12/09/2010 07:44

I should clarify that point about burglars carrying weapons - often burglars are drug users, and the nature of their lifestyle means they carry weapons for protection against other drug users/dealers or if they deal themselves other dealers, and to satisfy their general feeling of paranoia, not that they go and commit burglaries with the intention of using a weapon. But, if they have the weapon, you have to presume they would be capable and willing to use it if they are caught and cornered and panic.

noddyholder · 12/09/2010 07:49

ds has always been on a different floor to us in teh houses we have owned.Now aged 16 we are in a rented flat waiting for our house to be finished and he is on teh same floor so he survived!Locks and smoke alarms and a baby alarm while they are v tiny.Do not base your whole decision making on them as they grow up!!!!!!! And then being on a different floor is a blessing.Where is the living accomodation and is there a loo near them?

Original poster

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 07:54

pavlov - you're thinking along the same lines as me in terms of the fire/burglar risks. the kitchen has no door as the living space is all pretty much open plan.

noddy - yes there is a bathroom and the 3 downstairs bedrooms are off a separate hallway from the living space, so in practical terms it's well laid out.

but if i felt i couldn't open a bedroom window in the height of summer, or needed extra alarms in the kids' rooms, then probably i just have to face the fact that it's not the right house for us...

OP posts:

noddyholder · 12/09/2010 08:15

If it would concern you like that and you could never open a window then its probably a no.

artyjools · 12/09/2010 08:27

Also, consider how easy it will be to sell on in due course. Many people couldn't live with this (I know I couldn't) so the pool of potential purchasers will always be smaller.

edam · 12/09/2010 08:54

I wouldn't be happy with this. Good point from arty about putting other buyers off when you come to sell.

Firefighters say children hide when there's a fire - often under the bed or in cupboards. Some firefighters have a reputation amongst their colleagues for being good at finding kids. I wouldn't expect a two year old to be able to overcome the normal reaction to hide and clearly the baby would be helpless. And a 9yo wouldn't be able to take responsibility for the younger ones.

Open plan kitchen just makes it even more risky. Even with smoke alarms.

We had a home safety check from the fire service recently (all fire brigades do this) and the firefighter took ds, aged 7, through an escape plan. I thought ds had understood get out and keep out but actually the next time our smoke alarm went off (dh's cooking ) ds ignored it. Probably because he's used to dh's cooking, but even so...

edam · 12/09/2010 09:02

Oh, firefighter also told us once there is smoke, you only have about one or two breaths before you are overcome. (He was making the point about checking doors before you open them and if you are trapped, opening the windows and staying next to them.) Houses are full of TVs and electrical equipment that releases toxic chemicals in a fire. And loads of soft furnishings that are ready to burn.

Original poster

LadySanders · 12/09/2010 09:06

thanks everyone, it's really useful getting objective views, as i didn't know if i was in a minority...

OP posts:

WhatSheSaid · 12/09/2010 09:17

Our house layout means we sleep upstairs and dd's room is downstairs. I have never felt it to be a problem.

I'm not in the UK though and quite a few houses here have this layout (with the living area, kitchen and main bedroom upstairs, with other bedrooms downstairs).

If it bothers you though, don't do it - you have to feel comfortable with where you are.

edam · 12/09/2010 11:03

We are in a townhouse and the third (single) bedroom is on a different floor to the two doubles. So ds has a double room all to himself as when we moved he was a baby and I wasn't happy with leaving him on a different floor. Now he's seven it'd probably be fine as it's not on the ground floor but I don't see the point of keeping a double for visitors and making ds have the smallest room. We just shift around when we have guests.

BooKangaWonders · 12/09/2010 11:39

I've had these worries when renting a holiday cottage, but never once we arrive!

At home, we have dc on top floor, and dh and I on middle (with creaky floorboards so we hear comings and goings!) with kitchen on ground floor.

But MIL (not in UK) has always said she could never even live in a home with stairs as she wants to always be on the same floor as everyone else! Bit extreme, I think.

Fimbo · 12/09/2010 11:43

I have a 3 floored house. The dc are on the top floor and we are on the middle. Not sure how I would feel if it was reversed.

BikeRunSki · 12/09/2010 11:47

I grew up in a tall thin terraced house, where mine and my sisters bedrooms were in the basement,brothers' bedrooms on 1st floor and master bedroom on 2nd floor (top). Nothing a very fledgling baby monitor couldn't deal with. My brothers are both older - when my and sister were very small, we shared the 1st floor bedroom, as it was closer to master bedroom. When we got older, we went into basement as 1st floor bedroom was next to living room, so more appropriate for the older children who stay up later.

dottygamekeeper · 12/09/2010 14:36

We live in a barn conversion with a very similar sounding layout. Downstairs is open plan kitchen/dining room/sitting room in main barn, then through to a hall, off which runs a corridor with 2 bedrooms and bathroom, which is the children's wing. We are in one of the two large upstairs bedrooms in main barn section. DCs are now 13 and 12 but we moved here when they were 4 and 5 and they have always slept downstairs. I did not particularly worry about distance from us as we moved from a tall Georgian townhouse where we slept onthe 1st floor and they slept two floors above - just linked with baby monitor.

We have dogs, which I think would hear burglars, and when they were very small the German Shepherd Dog slept outside their bedroom doors (very protective of the DCs)but I am not keen on leaving their windows open at night (somewhat depends on the design of the windows too, ours do not have any small lights, just large casements). Each child's bedroom also has french windows, as does kitchen and dining room has one wall of sliding glass doors.

I think a lot depends on you, also the general level of crime in your area, and the other security measures you take eg we have crunchy gravel drive (and I and the dogs are very alert to people coming in on that), plus security lights.

Re fire risk we have mains linked fire alarms all through the barn, plus additional battery operated ones.

What do people do who live in bungalows - do they constantly worry about security?

TheNextMrsDepp · 12/09/2010 14:50

We have a very similar layout here too. Ours is a "chalet bungalow" so the only room upstairs is the main bedroom/ensuite, reached by stairs from the living room. Our three dcs are at the front of the house downstairs.

I honestly haven't been at all worrried about their safety, in fact the house sold itself to us on the basis that we could put the kids to bed in their own "wing" while we could watch TV/entertain in the main part of the house. If their bedrooms were all over the house that wouldn't have been so easy. Their rooms are all at the front of the house, arguably the safest place, as no self-respecting burglar is going to climb through a front window in view of the whole road. The rooms are nice and cool so we keep windows closed at night downstairs.

We are confident that the house is fire-safe; we don't smoke, have smoke alarms, and the place was recently rewired. And like most parents I have ears on elastic if they have any problems at night (which is very rare luckily)

BUT we only moved here about 18 months ago, when the youngest was nearly 6 and the oldest 9; I don't think it would have been so straightforward if they had been babies (or bad sleepers).

Funnily enough, the only person to raise their eyebrows at the layout was MIL who couldn't imagine being so far from her children at night; I really hadn't thought about it til she mentioned it.

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