Moving a happy child from prep to all-through school....would you?

[timefortea43]

My son (6) is in a lovely London prep, super happy, doing well both academically and socially, small class sizes and gets lots of teacher attention. It's an 11+ prep school not a 7+.

My elder DD is at a through school and now we're struggling to decide whether to do the same for DS. When DD did it, it was different as she went from state to indie and the value add from moving her to private was enormous. However with DS he is already in a prep, he's happy, he's local, he's settled.

The prep is not a hot house and is non-selective but gets decent offers at 11+. DS is academically very bright, but I worry may find a big through school a bit overwhelming - maybe he'd thrive, but it could backfire.

I'd be moving him at 7+ with the sole reason of "getting in" and also avoiding 11+, and I suppose in some ways wondering whether a selective school would be better as he's so bright. My heart says don't do the 7+, my head says would I be letting him down if I didn't.

WWYD?

If your son didn't go to the through school, what are the other Senior School options? If he's settled and happy then I think I'd only be tempted to move him if it's a "now or never" issue ie if the only Senior school you'd be happy with is the all through and everything else is a bit meh...

Nope he is happy.
Prep school will give you more options as they will prepare better for 11 plus. Lots can change for your child in the next couple of years.
The through school probably will have lower standards potentially for lower years as they really only like to teach them once in the senior school.
Who is to know the financial situation of both schools - if he was moving to your daughters through school for ease I might consider it but generally no.

I would only do it if the all-through would be your top choice anyway at 11+. I think they are still so young at 6 to be doing exams and I know my dd wouldn't have been ready for 7+ even though she's very bright - at 6 she wanted to spend her afternoons playing not doing past papers. And moving them at 7 closes down certain options for 11+ which might be more suitable, that only has entry at 11 or would be too far to travel at 7 but doable at 11.

We moved both ours from a small non-selective prep to an all through at 7+. As the previous poster said, we wouldn’t have done had they not got into the local ones we would ideally have gone for at 11+. However; the 11+ merry go round to me is mental. I just didn’t want to enter into all of that malarkey and any of us put the extra work on tbh and have all the stress!
I definitely don’t regret it. You can always move and will need to put work in but realistically you’d have to put a lot in anyway….
kids have so many years to go of education I just didn’t want them to start secondary with that experience! I guess it’s about our values though hey. We really value education but also free time, laziness etc and being a child!

I agree with pp - only move him if that is definitely the school you want him to go to from 11. All through schools don’t put the effort in for 11+ as they expect and want you to stay.

I also think the 11+ (private) will be less of a bunfight for your son than in recent years because of the drop off in birth rate and VAT/CoL. And he’s clearly academic so while 11+ is not exactly going to be fun, it won’t be the struggle it is for some.

In your shoes I’d keep him where he’s happy and keep his options open.

@Ealso these are definitely thoughts I have had - at 11+ the options open up a bit as I'd be happy for him to travel further

@UpsideIn I totally get this side of things too and this is what we did for our daughter. Interesting point you make about preserving childhood by moving at 7+ - I guess then they don't spend 2 years prepping for an exam...however for us if we keep him at prep, it's very local and we walk to and from school, we chat, we enjoy our local community. It's lovely. This for me right now seems to be the "childhood preserving option". If DS moved to the through school it would be a bus ride or drive, fairly early, and I guess for me that would mean in some ways a loss of childhood.... it's such a toughie!

@minipie hadn't thought of that - good point although we are in London and I wonder if the stats have improved with fewer applicants or not, as here it seems that there are still a huge cohort of people with unlimited funds that don't care about the fee increases! (this is not us btw!) Also if the Tories get back in they will apparently remove the VAT.... by the time he is doing 11+ that could happen I guess? The through school we would move him to now may, or may not, be the right fit for him at 11 - hard to say

AlthoughI can understand a desire to avoid 11+, the fact is that a school that is right for a seven year old is not necessarily the best one for them for the next 9 or 11 years. Schools can change a lot with a new head teacher and with the number of private schools closing or amagamating each year there is every risk that the school now is not going to be the same all the way through. I would leave him at his current school until 11. In a few years you will have a far better idea of which school will be best fit your child's secondary education. Also remember that getting in at 7 is never an absolute guarantee of a place at 11. All schools will have a clause in the contract allowing them to suggest you look elsewhere.

@ForNavyTurtle absolutely get this, that what may fit now may not fit at 11. But then with these London through schools, don't they offer something for everyone anyway? Ie if you're really sporty, most will do that extremely well, if you're academic obviously that is covered, if you're arty they have an amazing art department, etc etc. So in what sense would a school be the wrong fit?

Also as much as I'd love him to stay where he is, I really want this - what about the fact that his current prep isn't selective? Will this maybe hinder his chances at 11+ compared to a selective (?hothouse?) prep?

@ForNavyTurtle when I say I really want this, I mean I want him to stay where he is!

Ah, in this case I absolutely get your point, for us, both were fairly close so I didn’t have that in mind. I do think though that the slot of the 11+ I’d be prepared to travel slightly more to avoid, but it would have to be somewhere you’d be happy (at the moment) for secondary.
I would say our non-selective prep wasn’t good at preparing kids compared to the other two I’ve been at since - I didn’t realise at the time though as hadn’t given it much thought and was carried away by walking to school and having nice small environment! But looking back I can see this now (not saying this is the same for all and prep is needed wherever you are!). Sounds like you’re thinking really sensibly - sorry I can’t help more x

London 11+ is another level as you get state schools pupils going for bursary and scholarships, other prep schools pupils and those that can’t do boarding schools fees with VAT so now looking at day options.

We know families going for 7+ getting in and moving at 11+. Families that didn’t get in at 7+ and using feedback to prep for 11+.

@UpsideIn yes I wonder if I am in that carried away walking to school and having a nice small environment! Do you think staying where we are so we can get more options at 11+ and getting a decent tutor to bridge any gaps would be an option? Wouldn't want to move him from one prep to another prep, that seems a bit mad!

If he is happy where he is and learning then why risk upsetting the applecart. Yes 11+ in London is manic but realistically at rhe end of the day every child ends up somewhere.Some will get 6 offers, others only 1 but at the end of the day a child can only attend one school. I would leave him where he is until 11 then go from there.

Absolutely, that’s the other option hey. The trouble is it is a slog often (from what I understand). Are you getting a tutor for an hour a week with an hour of work (and you’re all happy to do that) or does it get in the way? I guess for our family it would….but you have to weight it up I guess as it’s also going to the exams/interviews/comparing to others etc not just the prep…..
but lots do it! im perhaps just one end that wants an easier life whilst we can!
I guess you’re not really moving from one prep to another as one’s an all through (unless I’ve got it wrong) so it may be called a prep but it’s different…..

Leave him where he is, a school that suits a 6year old doesn’t necessarily suit all the way through to 16 or 18 anyway.

But then with these London through schools, don't they offer something for everyone anyway?

They're good up to a certain level, precisely because they are developing all-rounders. Also, for top schools their main priority is academics as they need to stay top in the league tables.

DD went to our first choice school from 4+ and it was a good fit but gradually her music interests developed to a level the school were not willing or able to support. They were top-15 at the time and wanted to focus on exam results. We eventually moved even though I really wanted her to go all the way through to 18 to avoid disruption. The same goes for high level sport, it's done outside of school and if a DC is successful and wants to do it pre-professionally, it will inevitably go in the way of academics and top schools do not necessarily support this.

Personally, I would want to avoid the horror of 11+ at all costs, but I'm very risk averse and didn't want DD drop everything for prep in the run up to 11+ either. So yes, doing it earlier is preserving childhood, even now with the VAT changes.

@Ubertomusic that's a good point re where interests such as music, sport then conflict with academic demands.

I am so focussed on preserving childhood and not wanting to expose my DS to competitiveness, stress and a really big school environment which is why I love our local prep so much. But I guess the flip is that the competitiveness and stress may come with 11+ - but then he's a bit older and more able to deal with it?

@MiddleAgedDread I really do want to, we are all happy. And yes his interests, character etc will develop as he gets older . I'm just a bit worried as the prep isn't selective and he is super bright, I wonder if I am inadvertently holding him back by not moving him...

If he’s happy and thriving stop trying to hot house a 6yr old!

It's always so tricky with boys, isn't it? They mature later so in theory it makes perfect sense to wait a little longer, 13+ was there for a reason but is being phased out at many places...
In practice, 11+ in London is hard even for adults. The drill is also very boring, not just stressful :(

I don't think there is a definitive answer to your dilemma... but life is constantly flowing, and it's not the end of the world not to do 7+, you won't be letting him down, that's for sure :)