Regularly missing school for holidays?

[loverofhol]

Parents, I’d love to hear some real-life experiences.
Our daughter is about to start at a private school, and I’m curious what actually happens in practice if children occasionally miss school for family travel. For example, if you give the school plenty of notice and take a week away in June and perhaps another week at a different point in the year.
I’m not talking about illness here – obviously children get sick from time to time. I’m specifically asking about family holidays and travel.
How do schools tend to react? Has anyone experienced warnings, fines, pushback from the school, or any other consequences?

I don’t really want to pretend a child is ill when they aren’t. Firstly, children have a habit of returning to school and enthusiastically telling everyone about their wonderful trip to Italy while they were supposedly “off with a stomach bug” 😅. Secondly, I don’t love the idea of teaching children to lie about these things.

I’d be really interested to hear from parents whose children attend private schools and who occasionally take them out of school for travel. What has your experience been in practice?

Surely your DCs are going to want to start seeing friends and going to activities during the summer soon? My DD is in year 1 and she would be so upset to kiss out on the organised play dates, parties and her activity summer training and workshop days. She didn’t care about it so kick last year but this year she is definitely aware of these things and wanting to join in.

This????
you already pay a small fortune for shorter term dates anyway they break up mega early anyway - surely just look at the term dates and organise “family travel” round the dates?

My experience of 2 private schools is that it isn’t well received and neither is it common. They won’t fine you but you might get a very stroppy letter (I did) and a refusal to provide work or to spend time helping your child catch up. Completely understandable. Why should your holiday create more work for the teachers?

I’m assuming this is a wind up? You spend 17ish weeks of the year “away” (not holidays - visiting family, which most would call a holiday if overseas) and you’re then wanting to take more (or your first and only “holiday”) during term time…twice?! This seems extreme!!

Our two schools would really object. They don’t take kindly to taking the last day of term off and are very open about that. Just take your holidays in the holidays!

I know of one family who has taken a few extra days but it's really not common at our prep. The Head sends a regular letter which reminds parents holidays must not be taken during term times and they do say poor attendance could result in the School making a request to the Local Authority for a Penalty Notice. So I assumed that meant we could be fined? I just don't think most private school parents really want to take their kids out of school. We value education and pay a fortune for it. I would sooner forgo a holiday. Summer term is so short and jam packed, as others have said, it's not a great time to miss school. Easter is approx 4 weeks off, October you have 2 weeks off, 4 weeks at Christmas, 8/9 at Summer, then you have other half terms too. I really don't see a need to schedule holidays outside of the time we already have off.

If you really want to do it, and it will be regular, I would speak to the specific school and ask before joining, as I imagine schools will differ in how they feel about it, and maybe they will give you their blessing if you're upfront about it before joining. I imagine it would be very inconvenient for the teachers and class though and your child might not be given main roles in concerts/drama etc, if they wont be there for the main performances etc, which seems a shame.

The senior school my DS is joining in Sept says please do not request holidays during term time. I remember my school taking a very dim view when I missed the first week of term in January because we were in Florida. I believe kids should be in school unless there is a very good reason for them not to be. You could easily go to Greece, Italy, Spain in May half term.

What are the 3-4 week Christmas and Easter holidays and the 2 week half-term breaks taken up with, which are not holidays?

I can think of some things such as sports training camps and ballet residentials/Nutcracker/festivals, but none of this would be at reception-age.

If it’s simply about timing for good weather, I would just go further afield outside the British summer - Far East, Africa, South America, even the Canary Islands.

Easter and the half-terms are good times to go to the hotter parts of Europe.

In primary it was authorised and fine. I wouldn’t do it in secondary, certainly not after year 7/8.

I know a family who's kids are in prep school and they regularly pull them out for a week skiing. Apparently the missed school week is still less pricey than the difference between Feb half term and say end of January for skiing. Not sure they'll pull them out once in senior school.

@FallingIsLearning it’s that we specifically want a European beach holiday in places we like: Greece, Italy, France etc which are a bit too cold in May or October.
Christmas is different, it’s not really appropriate for a European beach holiday but we could (and might) do skiing.

We went to Greece in October half term last year and it was around 28 degrees. How warm do you want it?

There are 8-9 weeks of summer holidays in private school.

That has got to be enough to visit family and also have a family holiday.

It is really not accepted at our school. There are plenty of week's holiday throughout the year.

As a prep school teacher, I hate it when parents do this. It is , however , rare for it to be a week. It is nearly always parents of children with low ability or average ability children , who cannot afford to miss school, who take them out.

Hardly ever is it a high ability child taken out.
It is difficult for the child to catch up as we teach at a fast pace. It sets a bad example to your child too. Please reconsider doing this.

I think you are now definitely a joker….

The private school holidays are insanely long. It costs about £200+ a day per child when they’re there. 2 kids across several different private schools over 15 years and I don’t know anyone who’s trashed their kids education by taking them out for a week cos they fancied better weather at a European resort.

Lots of families (mine included) might add a couple of days on to to a set holiday time (especially at Christmas) to get optimum flight time and price flying home to visit family in Nigeria, Australia or NZ but no one I know has ever taken a random week (save for a very special close family wedding or funeral abroad).

Please don’t take your kids out of school for a week to go to Greece! There are lots of other places you can go in the school holidays. They’ll miss teaching and may end up getting behind, depending on their ability. Teachers will be annoyed as they will have to get them caught back up (extra work for them which impacts on other pupils).

For the record, I’m a teacher at an independent school (senior school)

My DD’s weeks at prep school are so jam packed that if she had a week off she’d always miss something important. Last week was sports day, a national general knowledge competition and a piano performance. The week before was their science fair (they’d all been working for weeks on their stall), a cricket fixture and a swimming gala. This week is LAMDA exams, prize giving and house cricket. Next week is their end of term performance. They never really have a ‘down’ week!

Private schools near me break up Fri 16/10/26 for 2 weeks. May half term is first week of June in 2027. All the destinations you mentioned you mentioned will be very warm those dates.

Private schools have to report their data to the council. Miss too many days and you will be fined by the council.

in any case missing a day here or there is ok but missing a whole week without good reason is a problem. Kids miss events they wanted to attend and may have worked hard at. My kids missed a week of school for a family wedding however during that week they missed loads of things they would’ve loved to attend such as sports day speech day another day where they showcase their work and other similar eventsand

My nephew was taken out for the occasional week off to travel up North for visiting family whilst he was in nursery and prep - it was not a problem until he went into senior school

DS’s private prep tolerate missing the last day of term/fri before half term but they will take dim view of you taking a whole week out in June or any other mid term time to go on a beach holiday in Europe. They tolerate it more if you’re achieving academically but I’ve also seen them use it as an excuse to kick you out.

TBH I think you’re going to have to rethink your holidays like the rest of us do! I’m a heat seeker and we’ve had hot holidays in Europe in May and Oct half terms (not warm, hot).

My experience of prep and private senior school was that taking time off for family events was always accepted (wherever they might be) but given the length of the holidays, there really wasn’t a need to take time off during term to go away. Once kids are in school, the rhythm of the year is pretty much going to follow the school calendar and it’s part and parcel of family life that you are constrained with trips away. Unless you opt out of formal education all together.

The answer re schools is it depends, some will care and some won’t - although I’d guess in almost all by late primary and definitely into secondary it would be increasingly frown upon.
But I think you’re naive if you think the status quo will always exist with your kids. I get it, I live a 15 hour flight away from family, when younger summers were always spent with them all be it with a ‘vacation’ tacked on the end. As they got older the kids simply didn’t appreciate that as much, especially if their friends were all doing camp, or there were extracurricular activities and they had to go hangout at grandparents, even favourite cousin become less of a priority. Now at Uni my kids often go back ‘home’ so no ties were broken, but as they grew up the summer trips were cut significantly shorter to accommodate other activities. You - and your family - likely need to accept that as your kids grow up your holiday patterns will change.

Ahh, so either/both:

(a) you prioritise beach holiday over education

Or,

(b) you can't afford a beach holiday unless it is term time/low season.

Whichever of these apply, I'd be questioning myself whether private education was the right path/affordable.