Surbiton High School / Sutton High School & SEMH support

[overcaffeinated]

Does anyone have any recent experience of what the mental health / wellbeing support is like in either of these two senior schools?

We are currently researching senior schools for our autistic DD, who is academically very able. Our prep has recommended that we try for the likes of GHS / WHS etc, however our DD requires a lot of scaffolding to cope with her daily anxiety / rejection sensitivity / demand avoidance / uniform struggles, so I am nervous about putting her in a highly selective / pressured environment, as I don't feel that she would be a good fit for her. At the same, we recognise that her current friendship group are also very academic and she thrives when she is around like minded girls, and is bored (and frustrated) when she isn't.

We are able to easily commute to both Surbiton HS and Sutton HS, so are keen to hear if anyone knows how flexible they are with reasonable adjustments etc. Thank you!

Mum knows best - you know where she should go 100% / rather than the prep head that wants to tick the school prepped your child and put her on the destination list of x school.

Reasonable adjustments - might be better to try for an EHCP then all her needs could be listed. Although if there is a large % of demand avoidance on a daily basis maybe the school will not want to make the adjustments (yes they should by equality law but it takes an understanding head to allow the changes at an independent). Generally, they just want easy children and cash aka bums on the seats (unfortunately). Make sure you have an in depth conversation with the senco / head as if your child doesn’t fit it’s catch 22 where they won’t flex the rules and the child can’t cope so it ends up termination of the contact. Before you sign your child up can the school meet those needs and flex for your child.

Surbiton is quite busy / lots of children / noise / movement will she cope? Maybe look at the larger more country vibe girls schools where there will be more space / less noise around here which will make transitions easier.

Hopefully she has some friends moving to the same schools - ASD and change doesn’t always mix well.

Also, does your child want to work naturally? As if she doesn’t don’t put her in the selective schools as she will hate it (however if she thrives on work it will prob work / weekly tests etc).

Good luck!

Which is more important for her to thrive? Being with like-minded and academically stretched? Or in a school that can accommodate her anxiety around the things you mentioned. Sutton High have an excellent SEN department and would 100% be able to accommodate your DD on those points but their cohort is very mixed and her friends might not be as academic as she is. Surbiton is very busy and large…. WHS might not be a bad option tbh. They are small (4 forms) and she’ll be with likeminded, academic girls. Book a meeting with their SEN team? What about a school that isn’t a “city school” like those you have mentioned? Reed’s will take girls from 2027 and from what I hear from my friend group, their boys are thriving in their very supportive and nurturing environment. It’s also fairly small in year 7-8. What about St John’s? Very good SEN department.

Does she like sport, music or drama? Find a school that supports her extra-curriculars?
Book some open mornings at various schools and see for yourself.

Sutton seemed lovely and very personal when we looked round it. It has to compete with grammars so needs to offer things the grammars aren’t so known for - suspect this includes good SEN and MH support. It isn’t as academic true but there will be a decent cohort of academic girls there.

Surbiton I only know for being large and very sporty! Doesn’t seem the best fit but admittedly I don’t know it well.

Agree look at WHS unless it’s too far.