Stay at village state school or move to prep for bright 7 year old? Advice appreciated!

[dadmumplus10]

We moved from a pushy private school to Home Ed to now a village state school.. The private school was causing anxiety, very pushy and no wellbeing or support, lost confidence.. Home ed was OK but he needed more socially, now in state school and socially doing a bit better but he isn't being gently stretched. He is very bright and we don't wish to push him ever. He is but is becoming bored. He has reading and maths age of 9 years old, he is 7.. I never want him to feel pressure but also feel he is happy when learning and being gently stretched, he has a thirst and natural curiosity for learning / knowledge.. The question is, do we keep him in state or try a new school? He has always had good ability for learning, we noticed age 2/3.. We can't afford private school currently.. Any ideas? He is being left out a bit we feel socially in his class, as he is different, questions, level of interaction etc., he doesn't seem too happy, but we risk moving him again and it could be a case of the grass is greener? I find choosing the right school tricky!

So he has been in 3 different settings already - pushy prep, home ed and now a state school. You can't afford private so will be looking at a different state school. Are there state schools nearby that will have a space for him? Will there be anything different there? Have you spoken to his current school about the situation you find yourselves in now?

If you can't afford private school there is no point moving him to another state school. Leave him where he is and do lots of stretching activities outside school. My son is very bright and did fine at the village school followed by state secondary. He's now studying maths and physics at a top 10 university.

he's 7 and had 3 different school environments already, i'd keep him where he is!

Your post doesn’t make sense, you ask if you should try a prep but say you can’t afford private school.
Why not look into extra curricular activities that might stretch him in other ways.

Are you really suggesting the state school kids are just so thick they can’t keep up with your 7 year old who is about a year ahead in terms of maths and English? Has it occurred to you he is left out socially because he has had 3 different school settings in as many years?

If you can’t afford private school the point is moot? No?

I think that’s a lot of movement in a short time.

I would leave him in his current school if he's relatively happy. He's moved around a lot already, some stability would be good at his age. If he's ahead of his age he's already stretching himself - school can't cater to every child, he'll be fine.

Stop worrying about finding the perfect school and focus on supporting him to be happy where he is. What he needs is stability, not more change. If he's bright then I'm sure he'll thrive once he's settled in properly.

He is absolutely not unusual in having a reading age 2 yrs above his chronological age of 7. I would expect there to be several children in his class reading at a similar level. He now needs to be concentrating on developing his comprehension and inference skills.
I'm not sure where you've got the 'Maths age' from as I don't know of any test that scores in that way.
As for moving to another school, I wouldn't. He needs time to make social relationships with his peers. I do hope he doesn't think that he is better than them in any way.

If you can’t afford private school the point is moot? No?

Well discussing it here, yes?

Unless you mean “mute”?

i suspect the issues with fitting it are more about his educational experiences so far and not about him being ahead of his peers. There’ll be a wide range of abilities in his year group and he won’t be the only academically able one. I would keep him where he is to offer some stability. Does he do other activities out of school? That could support him sociably and with learning.

3 settings before 7 is a lot of upheaval. Let him settle where he is and give him access to enrichment activities at home.

Don’t move him again unless he’s unhappy. 7 is very young to already have been in three settings. Just the action of moving him again could actually cause him to lose confidence and friends.

I would park this for now and focus on what you’ll do when he’s heading for senior school.

I always find it interesting to read about extremely academically pushy schools at the Reception/Year 1 level. Genuinely curious how this kind of pressure is evident even at such an early stage? What are the specific differences between lessons in Reception/Year 1 in extremely pushy schools and more gentle ones?

Whenever someone on MN says their child is bright, there are always at least one or two rude / threatened people who feel the need to tell them they are wrong by trying to tear the child down. This is petty.

maybe the OP’s son does maths with year 5. This happens sometimes.

Look some children are brighter than others whether you like it or not just like some people are better looking or richer than others.

It’s usually prep schools in London. There are threads in education about entrance tests for 4 year olds.

Keep where he is.
For social and emotional development.
Do extra stuff on weekends.

We moved from a pushy private school to Home Ed to now a village state school.

Oof that's enough moves already. Let him stay where he is till secondary school. He can do extra learning at home if he's mad keen to do so, but it's good to be part of a school community and is about so much more than the curriculum at this stage. I think you have a severe 'grass is greener' issue and need to chill and focus on other things. Your DC will be just fine.

But once a child goes through these difficult 4+ exams, what are the differences on a daily basis between Reception/Y1 lessons and those in gentler schools? What is demanded of such young children in pushy schools that is not expected in less pushy ones?

What I’ve heard is that the pushy schools rank the kids and stream the kids from age 4. Madness, imo.

Don't move him again, he needs to settle properly. Besides if you can't afford prep, there's no point considering it. I would focus on helping him deepen friendships and build his interests outside school. Are there any clubs at school he can join to develop shared interests?

I'm going to sound like an arse here but trying to be helpful! Being 2 years ahead isn't exceptional enough to be impossible to manage. Our youngest is in year 2 and is years ahead in his reading and maths (managing his sister's year 5 homework with ease and reading adult science books for example). However he is happy and enjoying school. It has taken some time for school to stretch him in maths, as it has to be about breadth and not depth. Other lessons have been simpler, as it is easier to, for example, up the expectations in written work. We don't really focus overly on his academics. Instead we focus on his friendships, clubs, self-help skills etc. Whilst he is ahead of his peers, there are other children in the class who are also doing very well academically, so he is not alone. Socially he spends his time talking rubbish about chickens and poo jokes, so he fits right in!

You are destabilising your child. You are very focused on him and being a real tiger parent. What you need to show your little boy is continuity, opportunity and stability. Focus on his happiness and allow him the opportunity to grow. You seem to think he will get the best education if you throw money at it, that's not the case. I can assure you, many children in state schools have a reading age 2 years or more years above their chronological age. You seem to think he is outstandingly special. Also there are many children in private education who have ALN. You say you cannot afford private education anyway and you are also it seems under a misnomer that it affords great possibilities and the passkey to great things. I can assure you it doesnt. You've moved him from a private school that you were dissatisfied with into home education where he was lonely and not receiving social education to build his people skills and confidence, I also doubt whether you could lcover the curriculum adequately...most home educators cant. Youve enrolled him in the local village school where he is making progress. You state he is bored. This is where you fill the gaps and provide other opportunities to assure his curiosity , increase his skill set, explore interests along with him, pay for tuition in say music or sport, give him your time. You seem naive and if I do say so a bit snobby about state education ax to be looked down on. You cannot ensure a good education by throwing money at it. Many private schools I can assure you as an educationalist are barely adequate and not well equipped. A good prep day school will set you back on average around £12k a year. It is debatable whether you would be getting a better deal and what happens post 11 or 13 when school fees really do rise!? You say your boy is bright.....but so are many others! But you need to try and turn out a confident well rounded human being and education is more than school.

Do not move him but give him opportunities at home and work with the school. 2 years a head with reading is good but not exceptional and you can support his interests with music, clubs etc. our ds was very bright in state school throughout and we made sure he had access to books, travel, music lessons etc and he thrived. Let him enjoy school for a bit, make friends, learn social skills and enjoy being part of a community.

I'd leave him where he is unless you have a fabulous alternative, which it doesn't sound like you do?

Three settings by 7 is really not ideal, if you can avoid anymore upheaval I would do so.

Speak to the school to see what else they can do/suggest to challenge him academically. Stretch him at home too. Let him concentrate mainly on his social skills at school.

Sorry? Google is your friend here x