Farnborough Hill or Tormead

[OneSnappyCoralPoster]

We’re trying to decide between Tormead Senior and Farnborough Hill for my daughter. She is at Tormead Prep at the moment due to the Rydes Hill merger. I know the downsides of Tormead with the cramped campus, clinical feel etc and we are drawn in by the beautiful environment of Farnborough Hill but the academics aren’t as strong. My daughter is motivated and my gut says she’ll thrive and do well, and perhaps be happier in a less assessment heavy, nurturing environment, but I’m keen to hear views from families at both.

I totally get the worry about it feeling less green and garden-y than FH; my DD's the same, always happiest pottering outside, but perfectly happy with wjat tormead has on offer.
In practice though it's not as cramped as it looks as there are some decent green bits and various lawns they use for breaks, plus the back field and stuff like Urnfield, DofE, etc., that gets them properly out.
Most girls settle in really well, its a super school, but yeah, defo keep an eye on how she gets on and hope she ends up loving it!

How do both schools fare on iPad/laptop usage? I was shocked a few years ago when my friend told me her daughter never used a pen and paper at FH - all work done on iPad and the only handwriting she did was with a stylus on a screen. That would put me off a school, but perhaps it’s changed now?

Not sure about FH but Tormead all the girls learn, and do, write on paper. In the prep school only the senior girls have them to supliment learning. In the senior school its the same, Ipads are used for some work, research, etc., just as is paper pads and paper. Ipads are sometimes used to upload homework to the portal, even if written on paper then 'scanned' in order to get fast feedback and help from teachers if needed with work outside of class. Tbh seems to work very well as a blended hybrid method.

I cant imagine FH is much different, ditching pen and paper all together would be super hard, surely?

Interesting as my daughter is there and desperate to leave due to problematic girls.

I’m sorry to hear that. It’s heartbreaking when our kids are unhappy. Is she at Tormead or FH?

To be honest, I wouldn't choose either. I have not heard great things about FH. But my daughter left Tormead last year, having been miserable and depressed with no support. They did not seem to care once they knew she was leaving and refused to engage with us. She is happy and thriving now in another sixth form.

As a parent who had two girls at Tormead this doesn't match our experience at all. Both have been happy, good mates, support has been excellent when needed (we had some ongoing SEN needs addressed effectively and a Year 11 blip sorted quickly).

So, for us, thete was no 'don't care' vibe at all. Generally the feeling is that the kids are well looked after and the year 11 parents I knew thought same. Its local reputation is also evidence of this.

Im sorry your daughter had a tough time though, and glad she is doing well now; every school doesn't suit every child, but Tormead has been a perfect match for ours. Their results and 2 happy ladies speak for themselves.

@Neverenoughflowers I am glad your girls had happy experiences there. It’s not always the same for everyone. Support just dropped off when it was really needed, and her friends were also struggling. Their support was mixed - some got help, some were similarly ignored. I felt it was such a shame when mental health is such an important topic these days. We were there since prep, so a long time, but it felt like things were going downhill a bit towards the end in general. But she’s happy now, which is the main thing

Strange, never heard a bad thing about their provision and ive had two girls go theough at different times, everyone's been more than happy. Where did she go for sixth form?

Do you have just the one DC at tormead or did you have two with similar experiences

I had an older one who also left before sixth form - she wasn’t unhappy but never needed extra support. Younger DD went to college and the improvement in her mental health has been huge. She had lovely friends at Tormead, there was just something about the place that ground her (and her friends) down over the last couple of years there. They all left to go to other sixth forms or college.
I guess this can happen at any school, no school is perfect, it was just quite upsetting that she was abandoned towards the end. I have an older DS who went to a different (similarly academic) school and I had zero issues the whole time he was there. Not RGS!
Teaching also not great (compared to DS school) and teacher turnover was higher than I would have liked. But it’s done now! Just wanted to highlight that not everyone has the same experience

Weve just chosen Tormead over our local state option, we are close to the school. Sad to hear a bad experience, but they are so few and far between, no one i know or speak to has a bad word to stay about the place, or indeed knows anyone struggling. I also know a teacher there who is just lovely. Its unfortunate you've had this and your experiences are real ones, its good your daughter is happy. But its a great school and is very popular for this reason, why we chose it over a great many other places with openly discussed issues. No school is perfect though for every student, your dd has found her.place which is great, yet im sure the sixth form you're daughter is now happy at, is likely a miserable place for some unfortunate others.

Its all balance and courses for horses.

Most students are ground down by the end of their GCSEs and fancy a change too, lots leave and lots arrive at all schools, lots go for co-ed from girls schools, that can be a 'refreshing change' in itself. In my day job i see a percentage of girls leave tormead for state sixth form for boys, less pressure, a change, money, or many other reasons. I see a lot of academic kids leave state and go to Tormead too for A-levels, alongside other establishments.

For some a college environment is better, whether its academic, less pressure or vocational, kids have a fit and sometimes with the best will in the world places don't work out.

My nephew moved from a academic independent school up north to a state college in septemeber due to stress, and the pressure dropped straight away, and he's really happy.

Sometimes even traditionally supportive environments aren't the right places, just because of 'fit', and moving is the best thing to do.

On teaching, I guess thats a taste thing too, and the PPs opinion is valid and is a personal experience, so is real. That said, regardless of teacher turnover and teaching, Tormead gets some of the best results at GCSE in the whole area, so cant be too far off getting it right.

Anyway, like you said, you're done - wishing your DDs the best of luck!

The hurtful part was just the way they washed their hands of us towards the end as we were not staying on. We had paid fees for over 10 years and they just refused to reply to emails or communicate in any way. And no, I wasn’t a pest, just sent a couple of emails reaching out for help. My DD was a well behaved student, who just needed a few things to help her get through to the end. They refused and then ignored us. Still not sure why, as they wouldn’t reply!

Feels a little like you're venting a little on MN, totally sympathise with you, but I just came across these posts too, which are similar to others elsewhere.

Im sorry, but I really cant imagine literally every employee including the head teacher ignoring you. They've been outstanding with us at the very junior levels of class teachers and our tutor, let alone the support we've had from heads of year, department, sen team, deputy heads, etc.

On occasion ive had to escalate things myself, in a nice way, and the response to that has always been on point and helpful.

Anyway, like the PP said, good luck to your DD in her new setting.

I’m not lying sadly, and I gave up as it was embarrassing not getting any replies. I didn’t email every employee, just a few key senior staff. If they didn’t reply, there wasn’t much point trying to get help from anyone else more junior. Just because it hasn’t happened to your knowledge, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
I wish I hadn’t bothered trying to give a balanced view as it seems there are a few too many on here that think I’m lying. It was an extremely stressful time, with my DD with serious mental health problems, so I wouldn’t make it up

Tormead's results should be higher as they are more competitive to get into than FH. It's a bit predictable to just compare grades. Tormead selects very bright girls only and their results reflect this, FH accepts a wider range of girls and their results reflect this too.

My DD left FH last year for sixth form and regrets it. She absolutely thrived there, and the school was improving significantly under the new head. She was brimming with confidence and joy, had a wonderful group of friends, and a schedule packed with enriching extra curriculars. She left having far surpassed her predicted GCSEs.

Sadly she was determined to spread her wings and lured by the thrill of co-ed is now seriously struggling with mental health and low self esteem as well as academic struggles at sixth form college.

We chose FH over Tormead as it was a better fit for our DD and I’m so pleased she got her years there. If I could go back 12 months and insist she stayed for sixth form I would do it in a heartbeat. She was absolutely the best version of herself in that environment.

Great post, and 'fit' is so important, glad your DD had a great time at FH.

Also - your sixth form story (and im sorry to hear it) is a familiar one - ive seen at Tormead that a couple of girls have often come back to it in Autumn term after the 'fit' of college doesnt work out, and thats a perfectly fine and normal thing to do. Go with the fit.

Glad FH head is doing well too, it needed a breath of fresh air to rejuvenate what isna school with lots of potential. a little like Tormead did when Mr boyd took over, in that the dead wood has (nearly all!) gone, the school has come on light years since then and is a great place to be.

In a way these 2 schools are very different but similar and its odd they don't do more with eaxlch other as its not too far off and yey they don't seem to naturally compete very much, despite this thread! Tormead looks around Guildford, Woking, the villages and smaller towns 5-10 mile radius, plus SW london along the train line and FH more looks west into Hampshire.

@StMartha can you not re-enrol your daughter at FH? Assuming she started sixth form college in September, FH would definitely be able to catch her up with the work?

A good plan, I'd certainly do it with TM too if finances allowed

We tried to get her to go back at Christmas but she wasn’t ready to give up on new college at that point. I imagine we’re too far gone to switch now.

Why not give them a call to discuss? If not, then there are positives to be found in her being at college - at least she's getting a taste of what uni might be like but without the live away from home part. This actually might stand her in good stead for the less spoon fed academic environment at uni. Try to think on it that way.

But definitely give FH a call just so you've covered every base.

We had a bad experience of Farnborough Hill, I hope it’s helpful to share when considering such an important decision for your girls.

We chose Farnborough Hill largely because of its reputation for pastoral care. Having now had two daughters attend the school, I feel it is important to share our experience for other parents considering it.
Both of our daughters are bright and hardworking and have recently completed their GCSEs with grades entirely in the 7–9 range. One completed her GCSEs at Farnborough Hill; the other became unwell and ultimately had to leave the school and complete her GCSEs elsewhere.
Unfortunately, it was when our first daughter became seriously unwell that we became most disappointed with the school. At a time when we expected the pastoral support that had been an important factor in choosing Farnborough Hill, our experience was very different. We felt that a number of the school’s actions appeared focused on process, documentation and protecting the school’s position rather than on what was genuinely best for our daughter’s health and wellbeing. The NHS professionals involved in her care also expressed significant concern to us about the school’s level of engagement. This was an extremely difficult period for our family and the school’s approach added to, rather than reduced, that difficulty.
Our other daughter was very capable both academically and in sport. She had started some sports relatively late but worked extremely hard and eventually earned places in the top teams. Even then, there were occasions when we felt she was made to feel excluded rather than encouraged. One particularly upsetting example was an end-of-year sports photography session where photographs were taken both with and without her. She came away feeling rejected and deeply upset. Unfortunately, this was not the only experience that left us feeling this way.
More broadly, we found the culture surprisingly transactional and impersonal. Communication frequently seemed to need to pass through the school office rather than through meaningful relationships with the people responsible for our children’s education and welfare. For us, this could feel cold and institutional.
There were certainly individual teachers and aspects of the school that we valued, and our daughters achieved excellent academic results. However, we also encountered teaching approaches that we felt focused too heavily on highlighting children’s failures rather than encouraging them to improve. On some occasions, we felt the manner in which this was done crossed the line from robust teaching into behaviour we regarded as unnecessarily intimidating.
No school will suit every child, and other families may have had very different experiences. I can only describe ours. Having entrusted two daughters to Farnborough Hill, our overriding feeling is one of considerable disappointment, particularly because pastoral care was one of the principal reasons we chose the school in the first place.
For parents considering Farnborough Hill, I would recommend looking beyond academic results and asking detailed questions about how the school responds when a child is struggling, becomes unwell, feels excluded, or simply needs individual support. Those are the moments when pastoral care really matters.

We have had 3 girls in the family go through / going through Tormead, all very different children: sporty, musical, academic and with some SEN between them. We honestly couldn’t be happier with the school and how well it seems to cater for different personalities and strengths.

One of them also had an offer from GHS and, with hindsight, we’re so pleased we chose Tormead. Her results were still excellent but more importantly she was so happy and supported when she had a difficult time.

I do wonder about the noticeably larger intakes at GHS and whether increasing numbers will eventually have an impact on the experience or exam results. I remember the days when GHS was known for protecting their results, by being very selective about who was entered for certain exams. A good reminder that published results never tell the whole story!

It does seem as though Year 7 intakes across quite a few of the private schools are smaller this year... I’d imagine VAT and the wider increase in fees must be having some impact.

have GHS expanded on their Yr 7 intake?
It was already very high in a very small space.