Is there much movement in years 7 and 8? London

[Schoolmessup]

My DS is 12 and in yr7 at a state school. He absolutely hates it, hasn't made any friends and is just miserable.

His primary school was a small one form entry and this current school is a 6 form entry, mixed. He is quiet and shy. Not massively academic but well behaved and top 20% of his class.

I am a single mum and private school has never been a consideration, I just don't have the money. However, because DS is so upset my ex has put forward a proposal that means we might just be able to do it.

I don't know where to start though and is it just crazy to think we might be able to move him now/ year 8?

I am in Hither Green, SE London. Near the station so open to anywhere commutable, within an hour.

I don't want to directly enquire yet as I think he would need to prep for an exam if we do decide to go down this route (have been looking at the Colfe's/ St Dunstans posts) and we have a couple of things to sort out first.

Is this just a non starter? Will there be huge wait lists? Are these schools currently full?

There are quite often occasional places, especially at the non super selectives. And even those will have occasional places once in a while. Definitely go for it!

Colfes is on your door step go and look round and speak to them about waiting lists maybe

Thanks everyone - I called a couple of schools. They weren't particularly up front about spaces - both wanted us to come in for a tour first.
He would need to sit an exam too, I have no idea if he would be up to their standard but I have no reason to think not. It seems they would have him take the exam and then we would find out whether there is space.... seems a little odd. I assume they wouldn't do an exam if there wasn't space?

Anyway, it seems they wouldn't do exams until after Easter now anyway and that suits me as we need to arrange the money side of things.

The issue I have is with timings/ money:

I am going to remortgage and buy my ex out of the house now (our agreement is when DS is 18) with the money released to be used for the fees. I will only do this if he gets a place. But it will take a little while to sort out - I am speaking to a broker next week.
Another question - what protections should I have in place? I do trust my ex and he has done nothing to suggest he is tricking me but from a quick google we would both have to be liable for the fees so I could end up with both a bigger mortgage and on the hook for school fees. Pay the school upfront?

Paying up front is usually possible, but you should check what 'flavour' of scheme that school offers (if any).

Some schools offer a scheme where you pay for x years at the current price. That would give you the benefit of not having to worry about fee increases, but usually you're committing for that time period and they won't refund if you decide to leave. I don't think it would be sensible to sign up to that type of scheme until he has been there at least a year, and you're sure it's working out.

With the other type of scheme, you pay an amount of money up front and then draw it down each term at the current fee rate (ie with fee increases applied). Sometimes there's a slight discount because the school can invest the money and also has more certainty. Normally the money would be refunded if you decide to leave (although you should check with the specific school).

Just to check - since you're coming to this for the first time - have you included fee increases into your calculations? They usually increase by about 5-7% per year, but can be more - ie more than you'd get even in a high interest account. (The first type of pay-ahead scheme would help with this, maybe once he'd been there a year and paying to the end of Y11) And also obviously there's 20% VAT so make sure you're including that.

You might possibly get a partial bursary, it's certainly worth asking. There are fewer these days though, with the pressure on everyone meaning that they can't ask fee-paying parents to pay extra. (Friends/parents wouldn't know that your DS was getting a bursary, so you don't need to worry about that)

Thank you - that's useful to know. We have based our calculations on an 8% rise per year which came from chatgpt.
I have also been researching all the extras - trips, laptop, uniform... it all adds up, I would have to fund these if my ex pays the fees.

Did you try the grammar school in Sidcup or Dartford? If he is top 20 per cent he might make it. It’s on the train line from Hither Green especially Chislehurst and Sidcup Grammar School. No harm enquiring.

He was a few points under the Bexley test and we didn't try the Kent test for Dartford.
Is it worth trying again? Is it even possible at yr7/8?

They do run inyear admissions tests quite regularly but you will need to check if and when he qualifies if he already sat it in year 6. By end of summer term of year 7 I think Bexley grammar does allow it. It can also be a practise run for the private schools. Kent also does in year allocations. Dartford Grammar is more competitive. There is also the new boys annex in Sevenoaks which might be worth trying as there are direct trains there too.
I do know people who managed to do in year later who failed the first time round.

Not the question you asked, but do you know why he is so miserable? Was he happy at his primary school? I'd worry that, unless you know the root cause of his unhappiness, and pick any new school accordingly, that you are simply moving the problem.

@Schoolmessup - the Bexley test is considered slightly harder than the Kent test. This is why eg Beths grammar allows some kids in who passed Kent but not Bexley. Both Weald (girls grammar) and Tunbridge Wells Grammar School for Boys are slightly less competitive than the superselectives, like Dartford Grammar, Judd or St Olave’s. But even if they have space or can make space, it would be a very long commute. I am not sure how they get from Sevenoaks station to the campus, maybe there are buses.
Generally, Colfe’s and St Dunstan’s will be about pass Kent test standard too. Could be a good fit for a top 20 per cent child. So if you can make that work, that could work out very nicely. Chislehurst and Sidcup Grammar does sound very good for him too, but given you already sat the test you would be looking at year 8 entry earliest I think and only if they make a space. And presumably there is a long waiting list.
Quiet boys who are studious are usually much happier at grammar school with like minded peers, if you can get them in.

I would think there will be some movements as some are aiming for 13+ so year 8 is a good time to think about moving. Best of luck.