Deferral/ delay for summer born children in independent schools

[PurplePenguinBiscuit]

I was wondering if anyone can give me any information/ views on deferring school start for summer born children in independent schools. I am aware of how this works in the state sector but can’t find as much on it for private schools - I’m assuming each school is different. I did not attend private school and the whole system is very new to me.

There seems to be an awful lot of scientific research that confirms summer born children are at a disadvantage and labelled as attaining less than their older peers. Anecdotally, I’ve heard of summer born children struggling at school too. I am a September birthday but my brother was born in August and I saw him struggle a lot at school when I was younger and also incorrectly labelled with having additional needs etc (later discovered not to be the case). So I feel very cautious but at the same time I don’t want to hold my daughter back based on a general rule and a couple of experiences I’ve had. Every child is different and I want to honour that and do the best by her.

My daughter was born late July and will only be 4yrs 1 month when she starts reception in September (if we go ahead with that).

She currently attends a nursery attached to a pre-prep. She has a key group within nursery of 6 children in her “standard” school year that she does most core activities with. But she also plays and interacts with children in nursery who are technically the year below, and others of the her actual year in different key groups. So it’s mixed ages at the moment. About half the kids she is at nursery with now are staying on for reception at her pre-prep so there will be familiar faces. It is a small school and only 2 classes (of no more than 16 children each) in reception year so she will be with other children she knows. The reception classes are across the corridor from her nursery so the physical transition would be small.

She is only 3.5 at the moment but tall for her age (4-5yr clothing or 5-6 in some brands!), taller than the majority of older children in her year. She is also very confident socially and has quite advanced language/ cooperative play skills so people often assume she is already at school when they meet her and normally assume she is 5. This is all great of course but the issue I am worried about is that in other areas she is very much “on track” developmentally - fine and gross motor skills are still that of a 3.5yr old, core strength is a little less than other children in her academic year, her ability to sit still and focus is that of a 3 year old not a 5 year old. She can do it but not at the same level as a child a year older. I worry that she will be labelled as “behind” when really she is just the youngest in her year, this is compounded by the fact she looks so much older. If she looked like the littlest in her year I would maybe be less worried as instinctively staff and other children would see her as younger.

I have raised this in passing with the school at an open day event (they basically told me not to worry, they are used to summer born children and focus on each child individually but offered a follow-up chat) and am going to have a conversation with the them about this in a week but wanted to get some general views from other parents who are or have been in the same boat.

Neither DH or I are from a private school background and we feel very fortunate to be able to send her to this pre-prep. But it does mean that we are completely unaware of whether these concerns we have are mitigated somewhat by her being at a private school with smaller classes than state. I have tried talking to a few other parents with children at her nursery about this but generally they seem to think it’s a non-issue (and a lot of them are from a private school background so maybe they are correct?).

If we can’t defer at a private school is it worth us pulling her out and sending her to a state school (with deferral to start mid-year in Jan or the following year in sept)? Where we live, standard practice is she’d go straight into yr1 if we did delay a full year rather than reception which I think seems a harder transition.

Because she is socially able and thriving at nursery, my gut is telling me to keep her in her “normal” academic year even if she will be the youngest but I’m still worried.

Any advice or thoughts appreciated!

Thank you so much

Unless everyone defers, she will probably not be the youngest in her class with a July birthday, and she will not be a year younger than everyone else, but 2-3 months younger than some, 4-6 months younger than others etc

If she's a July baby she's unlikely to be the youngest in her year. I was one of the youngest (mid August) and absolutely thrived at school.

We know several dc deferred at private schools. It does happen and for some individuals it is the right choice. Very dependent on different school polices at to whether they will agree, so best to focus on explaining your case in a compelling way to them.

Thank you both. Her birthday is 31 July so yes I should say “one of the youngest” not “the youngest”. There is another child in nursery who is August born and younger than her.

My Aug born child is the top of his class for reading and would have bored out if his brain to be held back. As it turns out over half his year was born between April and Aug so the one child who did defer stands out a mile. In my older kids years, the ones who deferred are the badly behaved ones, they are t stretched enough.
i believe independent schools are way more flexible that state, but you need to have a conversation with each one you want to apply for. They are generally supportive but have their own process not a blanket one like state.

The majority of senior independent schools won't like it as it would have an impact for sports and selection at 11+. So even if you can get it agreed at reception, it could be storing up issues for later schools, and put your dc at a disadvantage for senior school options. Our prep school discourages it mainly for that reason.

I understand your dilemma and wondered the same thing my July born DD. In the end after taking advice from the reception teachers we sent her. They were right and she’s thrived and loved school. But I do still wonder ‘what if’.

As an aside what they knew and I didn’t was that by pure chance her year group was predominantly spring/summer born children (only 6 in her group of 32 have birthdays Sept-Dec).

I think delaying at that age can work if a child is behind developmentally - particularly for children born very prematurely. But this does not seem to be the case for your DC.

If she is tall, confident and has age level language skills she will not be at a disadvantage with her peer group. She is very unlikely to be the youngest in the year and at least a quarter of the class will be within three months of her. Teachers are used to dealing with children who still have to develop fine motor skills - a lot of boys are in this position.

Delaying causes problems with sports teams. She will not be able to play with the year group she is in. It also causes issues around 11+ transitions to academically selective senior schools and could influence how her GCSE results are assessed later down the line.

It doesn’t sound as though your daughter “needs” to bow kept back a year from what you have said. She is on track for her age, excelling in some areas, and she is on track for her cohort.

That being said, our DC’s independent school allowed a new joiner whose birthday was in the last week of August to join the year group below. He was in fact an extremely bright kid, but missed out on a scholarship because it wouldn’t have been fair to those whose birthdays fell within the cohort. Not to mention he could have held his own extremely well with the year group to which he properly belonged. I think the reason they allowed him to join the group below was because at the time he joined this had been an undersubscribed year group for three years already. Before all else, a private school is an business and needs to make profits.

If she’s tall and confident I’d let her start school. Children can be unhappy if they’re more mature than their peers too- it’s not all about the academic side of things.

I'm inclined to agree with this. I know it's not everything, but if she already looks old for her actual year, she will stand out in the year below.

There is more flexibility in private schools, they can make their own decisions, but you would have to (obviously) get their agreement. It sounds like they don't really agree in your DDs case, as she is doing fine, so you might have a bit of an argument on your hands.

I definitely would not start in Jan. That would just mean she misses the settling in and start of Phonics teaching, but is still on the younger side.

It sounds like she will cope and there is no reason to suspect otherwise. Our petite end of August dd started just 4 , academically got on fine but her size was more of an issue with sports etc and being babied by other kids, so affected her socially longer term.

Your research will have confirmation bias. Just because your brother struggled potentially 30 plus years ago does not mean your child in a small class setting will also struggle.

I have two summer borns, both excelled academically, had good, solid friendships and the school differentiate for academic ability anyway. This was in a state primary.

Listen to her teachers who will have experience in this and if they feel she is ready then she probably is. It is easy to look at them at 3 years old and think they are so little but look how far she has come in the last 6 months.

My youngest son is now at a top ranking university. Both my children excelled academically. This isn't just about when they are born but parents play a huge role. Your child will have the advantage of a private education, so a more tailored education. My friend's son was born 31st August, he also excelled. Being born in the summer does not always mean incapable of starting school.

I think as this has only been properly around about a decade, the research is all centred around how it’s beneficial in primary school.

but it’s front loaded and we’re starting to see secondary school kids very upset about sports teams, or the Y13s currently doing alevels whilst their age cohort are in Bali on a gap year.

i wouldn’t do it for your child given what you’ve written. Some one has to be the younger, and teachers are used to it and accommodate accordingly.

@Cyclingforcake I think that may be because a LOT of independent school parents defer their children in order to play the system, they believe that being older in the year will be an advantage to them academically, socially, and for sport.
My March born dc was youngest in the year at an independent, where he flourished and could beat the others into a cocked hat on all fronts (Even though smaller!)
When I mentioned to his housemaster that he had been born 8 weeks early he told me that even if he had a May birthday he would have been the youngest in the year.

@Scotiasdarling- I’m a pe teacher at a private school. For sport the rules are (with good reason!) than they have to play with their correct cohort, so 1/9-31/8, so deferred children can’t compete in their adopted age group. Unless the school cheats!

That is the same at my sons school. Deferral isn't necessarily a bad thing, when my son was starting school we discussed it with the teachers and they admitted that he would be fine with the school work but generally boys emotionally mature slower that girls and this is an area that they would see more issues arising. They also highlighted that it's not when they start school but also when they finish, our son would have been 17 and a little bit and if he went straight to uni we felt it was too young.
We deferred and haven't regretted it at all, but it's should be based on the individual child (we're in Scotland so school cut off is end of Feb).

I was born the first week of August, excelled academically, compared to my older brother born in October who struggled.
I have no plans to hold back my DD also born first week of August

I was born at the end of July and excelled at school right from the start. It never occurred to me to defer DD who was born end of June. As has been said, it isn’t about when you were born so much as the environment in which you have been living.

Haven't read the thread.

My child is a delayed start - should be y1, is currently reception.

I just told them that's what we were doing. In nursery we held her back into the 'right' class so that she would go up to school with friends rather than watch everyone leave her.

I applied to delay with the state system anyway which was agreed with all schools.

The independent school said they'd sort any onward applications. I did check with the local grammar and they said no problem, but you can obviously only have one bite of the cherry - so you couldn't try them the year they should be in y6 and then the year they actually are, for example. But you wouldnt do that anyway!

Best decision we ever made. Shes so happy at school.

Thank you so much for all your comments. It’s really good to get different perspectives especially from those who have been here themselves. There are also some things that feel obvious now people said them but that I never considered (like how she’d look even older than her year group and likely stand out if we delayed her start to school) and similar, I hadn’t thought about how senior schools might respond to this and what it would mean for competing in teams etc. Thank you also to those who said they did defer and don’t regret it! And those who didn’t and also don’t regret. It just shows there’s no “right” approach and it’s totally child dependent. I feel better going into my meeting with the school now. I think I’m erring on the side of not deferring given that socially and confidence-wise she is fine… if the school can reassure me about her motor skills and helping her develop theme. So I will listen to what they have to say and see whether they think it’s a good idea or not based on her specifically and then we’ll make a decision. Thank you again for all the comments

I wouldn't defer if I were you, for the reasons others have also outlined.

My birthday is early August and I had no problems at all at school (I know im just one example)- my husband who also had an August birthday did struggle but that was probably more due to dyslexia and also being a boy!!

I certainly wouldn't choose state if I could afford private comfortably.
A class size of 16 will be far more beneficial than staying behind in a group of 30 odd!

Let her start with cohort, you can always repeat a year later in the right school. Most summer born are fine within their year group & anecdotally, I’ve known several excel. That said I’ve also known a couple of kids drop back a year in two different independent schools. One at y6 & one at y8. You don’t know what dc is capable of yet.

I have a DD in reception at a small independant school. I agree for state schools holding them back can be for the best. But 50 percent of her small class are summer born. 4 are June -August and appear to be doing well. They have a TA and teacher to 12 children. They are very child focused and ensure the children are supported (not pressured) to be where they need to be. Emotionally some are a little more immature. But again the staff are amazing at supporting them. Probably because they have the time and resourses to do so.

If the school is good and child centred with snall classes sizes i personnally wouldn't worry as much. We found the transition from nursery to reception was managed well internally. Also with a summer born you may get funded hours to use against school fees for the first year (we did for the first term until DD was CSA) which helps with school fees.

I think about this sort of thing as my youngest is July born. I have various thoughts on the matter but my views are overall not to change anything: her peers won't all be born in September, with a big gap and then her in July. If you hold her back, She (might) feel pressure being the eldest child (unnaturally too). If you hold her back she might not be eligible to play in the school's sports teams (some private school leagues do not allow it). An element of me also thinks to go with the hand I was dealt and don't disrupt it. One might think that's flippant but I don't want to change anything - I don't think being the eldest is all it's cracked up to be