UCS, Habs, MT, St Albans social side of things

[Waitingforcolours]

We live on the edge on NW London so considering UCS, Habs, MT and St Albans for senior school for DS. Academically he is strong and should be ok, but he is a quirky character so looking for insight into which of these might suit him better or have more similar boys so he can find his tribe.

He is an active boy but not into rugby or football, does enjoy cricket. He loves to read, history and playing fantasy strategy board games, chess etc. Music is his strength, plays an instrument and sings.

He struggles a bit socially as he will just talk at you about his interests and social norms are a bit alien to him (but getting there!), he can join in and play, but isn’t particularly bothered about having close friends. Happy to just do his own thing. The alpha all rounders tend to ignore him.

Can get very emotional, strong need for things to be fair. Sometimes just needs his own space and takes himself away to read etc. But generally a sensible, lovely boy who is kind and thoughtful.

MT is closest but wondering if that is better suited to all rounders given how strong sport is there. The amount of space there appeals though. St Albans possibly a better fit but the most inconvenient logistics wise due to the traffic and bus routes. UCS worries me a bit if the tube wasn’t running as we would be reliant on that, driving in would be a pain. Habs I hear is very intense which might be too much for him emotionally.

Any insights welcome

It is over 12 years since my son went to MTs, but I would say it is a great fit for more quirky boys. He had the choice of Habs, St Albans boys or MTs; he chose MTs and never regretted the choice. FWIW, my husband would have chosen Habs for himself and I would have chosen St A’s for myself - they’ve all got quite distinct cultures and I think your son will know which one he likes most after the offer holder days.

Is he year 5 or 6. Following with interest as my son has just sat all 3 schools with the exception of Merchant Taylor’s as we felt the other schools offered more diversity. We are in elstree so Habs the most convenient for us. Son is a slightly different profile, is very good at football and enjoys other sports but really loves learning/reading and English. He has passed the habs exam and we are waiting on the other 2.

Year 5, haven’t registered anywhere yet

The travel to St Albans can be an absolute disaster. My friends sons go there and they live nine miles away. She is spending three hours a day in the car getting them there and back. The bus route means a 15 minute car ride just to get to the bus stop. It rules her life.

Also assume you know it’s going coed?

Have you considered that your DS is autistic? His social, behavioural and emotional profile from your own words would indicate an assessment. Teenage years are really tough for undiagnosed ASD and there is no need for any child or family to suffer the emotional fallout unsupported.

Thanks to all those that have responded so far, useful insights.

@RatherBeOnVacation this is what I can imagine happening given our location. I think St Albans will have to be taken off the possibilities.

@Blindsidedd it has crossed my mind yes. School haven’t mentioned it but do think he is less mature socially/emotionally and will catch up. They did put him in a social skills group for a term a few years ago but nothing since. I’ll raise it with his teacher.

Even if you don’t seek am assessment right now have a read up on what environmental / lifestyle changes are ASD friendly - might be enough for now but no need to suffer in silence unsupported and unaccomadated. All ourDCs need the best emotional stability

We have friends with dc at most of these schools. Just to add one to your list, quite a few N London boys like your ds who are able but quirky end up swerving these Herts schools and end up coming to St Chris in Letchworth (also in Herts). There is an academic scholarship which it sounds like he would have a good crack at and there are a lot of bright and quirky kids so he would have his tribe. The school does have bus routes from N London and some train it in. I will send you a pm.

Would agree with @Blindsidedd It looks very like neurodiversity but don't take our word for it, no matter our experience. Would def add that knowledge is very empowering if so and it's nothing to be scared of. But helps massively when dealing with schools to know any underlying diagnosis.