School options and travel

[popsickle555]

We have narrowed it down to two schools for DD2.

School 1 is Co-Ed, her sibling already attends, it's a 20 minute drive in low traffic, 45 mins in high traffic, there's a bus (private school bus and also a public bus). It's a good school but large and obviously co-ed. DC1 is doing very well there and is top of her year, we have no complaints but it suits her perfectly.

School 2 is Single sex, we have been offered a daily lift share (a teacher who goes every day with her children) but the journey I think most days will be at least 45 mins, more likely 1hr +. This seems too much for me but DD2 is very keen to go there due to it being single sex. It's a great school there's no way about it. There is also a train plus mini bus option for later years (but I think too difficult in year 7). That would take her approx 1 hour so would mean leaving home at 7.30am and home by 5.30pm which is reasonable. Driving there just seems too had but am I crazy to rely on this other parent for at least year 7?

DD2 will most likely get in at both schools and is applying for scholarship at both which will slightly impact decision but I am keen to hear if anyone has experience of such 'long' journeys? She does cope quite well with early starts and is very diligent etc. Thankfully no Saturday sports are required at either school (optional) and I doubt she would want to do that but is musical so would be in many concerts etc.

I should say if school 2 was closer there would be no question here at all. It would be her first choice but the transport / traffic issue is really making me concerned! And also she would likely have only one local friend. DD1 who is at the closer school 1, has a few friends locally which is of course great! She also has a few more of a drive away but none more than 30 mins.

you need a plan b for if the teacher or her children are sick, plus after school clubs etc. I think option one makes far more sense

My ds has an hour trip to school and it’s fine, he’s on a school minibus and leaves at 7:40, gets home about 6 if he has prep, about 5 when he doesn’t. He is happy to make the trip because he wants to be at the school. I would be a bit concerned about relying on a lift though.

Hmm.

I wouldn’t underestimate the toll of a long journey. DD is year 8, she does a journey like your DD1’s, and finds that quite long especially in the winter. I wouldn’t want it to be any longer.

Local friends are also hugely valuable for ad hoc meetings ups or coming home after school on a Friday without having to get them home miles away.

Your lift share plan - what happens about after school clubs, concert rehearsals etc where the timing doesn’t work for the woman who has offered? Really you need a journey plan that works without relying on one other person the whole time.

Would you not be comfortable with the train plus minibus option, after the first few weeks at least?

Are there any other options? Something single sex but closer?

Thanks for these thoughts, all helpful.

No other single sex options closer sadly. The lift share is probably very reliable in that the person is a senior role, has two girls there (same age) and thankfully similar interests but I’d assume we would need to collect ‘late’ maybe twice a week (which is fine). I work from home so I CAN drive and take DD I just don’t want to do it daily as would be awful driving basically 4 hours a day (there and back both ways). But that wouldn’t happen.

And yes, train plus mini bus is possible I guess maybe in spring of year 7 when evenings are lighter etc.

I am leaning towards going with option one but if she’s not happy (or we aren’t) we’d move her end of year 7. The admissions team have told me this is usually possible as there’s some movement until year 9/10.

I really agree on local friends too. That’s been a big thing for my other child.

Re school 2: I don't think that you're crazy to rely on the lift option for this year provided you're able and willing to be short-notice backup, you're happy to do the drive yourself for extra-curriculars a few times per week, and there is an independent option to work towards (could a middle ground be you giving her lift to a minibus pickup?). I don't actually think a 45 minute drive is crazy for a secondary that you and the child love.

But given there's no minibus pickup in your area I would ask for details about where students live. If everyone is really spread out and socializing across distances is the norm then that's different than if almost all of your DD's friends will be close together and she'll be the outlier. In the same line of thought I would be very cautious about being a day student at a majority boarding school from that distance.