Length of school day - dilemma

[Rlie]

We are choosing between two schools for our year 3 son and have a dilemma we'd appreciate other people's views on.

School 1 (25 mins from home): Can leave school on a minibus and be home by 4.30pm if he doesn't do a club and 5.30 pm if he does. We would probably give him some shorter days and some longer ones.

School 2 (30 mins from home): School finishes at 4.10pm, clubs run 4.30 - 5.30pm and minibus departs at 5.40pm. Minibus gets to nearby village at 6pm and we'd collect form there and be home by 6.15pm. He'd need to do at least 4 days of clubs because we can't commit to collecting him at 4.10 pm more than once per week given it would eat into the working day. Clubs are all structured sort of activities rather than free play.

For various reasons, we prefer school 2, but it will be a long week for our son who is coming from a state school and we are worried it will be too much, especially as there is homework to do and we don't yet know where our other child will be going to senior school next autumn.

Would appreciate hearing from those whose children have (tried) long school days about your experiences. He already does some long days at school but school currently finishes at 3.20 pm after which he does a combination of a club and general after school care (essentially playing), usually home by 5.30pm. He also doesn't get that much homework.

Are those your closest schools? Both sound far too long for a seven year old unless the 3.30+ bit is actually an after school club involving a lot of free play.

I think to a large extent this depends on your DS. Is he one who likes to have structure and be on the go? Is he usually struggling with overstimulation/needing quiet, non-social time by the end of the day right now? Will there be a variety of clubs he actually enjoys?

I know you said that the clubs offered are all structured activities, but do they not have a homework club for some days? Most do for the years homework is given. And usually some clubs will be less structured than others (ex. an arts & craft club or board/card games club will often allow for kids to have solo play or reading time).

For school 2 would it be possible to pick him up some days at 5:30 instead of using the mini bus? It wouldn't get him home too much earlier but 30 minutes of 1-1 with a parent in the car is qualitatively very different than a mini bus trip.

Beyond that I think I would make a decision based on the big picture and how much you prefer school 2. I assume you're planning on being at whichever school you choose through Y6 or Y8? Do you expect to stay in private after that? Those are long days for Y3 but they grow so much over the next few years that it may not feel like a stretch for that long. And private secondary schedules are often even longer, so to some extent it can either help them ease into that or help you know what to look for and avoid in a secondary selection.

Based on our experience, I think those days are fine if the school is overall the right fit for the child, and they enjoy the after school clubs / activities. If he has to go to whatever club is on just to make it do-able, it might be tricky if there are things he doesn't enjoy so much. I'm surprised there isn't a more general wraparound offer with more free play.

That's a really long day consistently at 8 yo.

I think both sound fine so long as you don’t pile on stuff outside of school too. I have a 4YO and 8YO and they are typically at school 8am to 5.20pm every day. This is the standard school day for Y3 and up. 4YO can go home earlier but stays for an activity club followed by wrap around because we both work and ideally need to do one pick up. Once a week my eldest stays for a club which makes pick up 6.20, which she’s fine with and would like to do more of, but it makes life hard with the younger one so we’re holding back ATM.

This completely depends on the child in my experience. Is he extroverted, energetic, self motivated, sporty? How many clubs would he WANT to do if left to his own devices? My DS thrives on the school 2 kind of schedule and on the other hand I have have had to take an extra afternoon of flexitime to pick my DD up earlier some days as she is not naturally interested in clubs, she’s academic and introverted and wants to be at home. Not very helpful but I think that’s the truth - can you ask to speak to some of the parents at school 2 about how their kids find it?

Sounds pretty normal for a prep school. Ours was 8.45 to 5.30pm everyday and no buses from year 3 bar Fridays when they finished at 3.30 unless we paid for after school care.
That did however include a mixture of prep and activities so there was rarely homework in the evenings on top.

Both options are fine if the main school day is well balanced and has downtime during the day. I have 2 dc (8-10), one of whom is nd and very easily overwhelmed, and a day in private with small classes, more frequent breaks and generally more autonomy is very different from a day in state where I was carrying her in tears out of the classroom at 3pm.

i could collect mine earlier, but mine are happy (and generally prefer) to stay until 5:30/6 most days which allows them to do prep and clubs so that home time is free time.,

Yes, I'm surprised too. I've asked twice and the only alternative to a club is supervised prep, in silence, to which he's welcome to bring a book to read. However, what my son would benefit from is chance to play with friends without participating in a structured club. Then I think we could find a balance. As it is, we'd have to find a club for him each night as I can't see him wanting to go to prep club after a long day of school.

Thank you. Is your youngest able to get on and complete their prep by themselves. I can't imagine my son being able to do that just yet. And especially after a day of lessons. But it would be good to have the homework out of the way so it doesn't intrude into home life.

Long days and a commute are do-able at that age, as long as prep is done before they get home, so they can then relax, eat, and have some fun. My sons did this from an earlier age, commuting by Tube.

As ever all depends on the child and how well organised and paced the school day is.

It's hard to know whether this is worth it. Both schools get good reviews but school 2 is the one I prefer the feeling of and the facilities. But whether that is worth gaining at the expensive of flexibility and less driving for us as parents, I'm not really sure.

Mine have been doing prep from the age of 7 and actually prefer having prep once a week (largely sufficient for junior school homework) to having an extra club. There is a teacher on hand to support, but as with many things dc are more independent at school than home and while at home I have to sit at their elbow during homework, at school they just get on with it.

What if he doesn't want to do 4 clubs a week?
Seems harsh to make him do clubs he may not want to do ☹️

My dd is in Year 3 at a prep and that length of day is fairly common by this age. My dd has been had some days of that length since reception, though mixed with shorter days too. Now she is 7, she isn't home before 7.30pm on some days. Term times tend to be very busy but she does get longer holidays to chill out completely.

At our prep dcs tend to mix and match school-based activities, and out of school though. If we had to rely on school for childcare (rather than picking up and taking to activities), she'd miss out on certain extracurriculars which aren't offered in school, or are offered at a higher standard than school, plus she has a wider mix of friends from out of school clubs.

I think some downtime is important. At our prep school there is supervised prep, clubs but also more relaxed after school care. We tend to do 2 after school clubs, 2 days homework then wrap around and 1 day early finish or wrap around. They do need to learn to manage the homework independently especially if they have evening activities too.

If you prefer school 2 wouldn’t let the day put you off but you might have to manage tiredness etc.

what time does the school day start @Rlie ?

My ND DS has been at a private school since Year 5 and days are 8.15 - 5 most weeks, with a half day Friday a couple of times a term. Very minimal work to be done at home and there is a "prep" session timetabled in each week as part of normal lesson time.

He was tired initially (having gone from a state 9-3.20 day) but is completely used to it now and it's no issue at all. Choosing the school that's the right fit is far more important than an extra 45 minutes attendance each day.

Thanks so much for the input from everyone on this thread, it has been so helpful.