Long day

[678socks]

We are considering a public school which also offers flexi boarding. The school day is 0815-1800 ish and if our child got the bus they would get home at 1915 and leave at 0700. We have been assured that prep etc all gets done at school and we could do 1/2 nights boarding per week (Saturday school) as well. At the moment with a child in year 6 (who does a lot of after school stuff) that still feels like a very long day but is it?? Or is it very child dependent? School is 30 mins away so some nights we might be able to collect but there are other children. There is a possible grammar option which would be a 0745 leave home and 1640 get back but aside from the price (£0) we are not sure it would be a good option from a pastoral aspect.

12.15 hours a day is a lot - how old is the child? Honestly I had to get up mega early for my bog standard comp and was out the door at 7:30am and back by 4pm and I will be honest, the first thing I did when I got in was sit down. I was 10 and those timings included 40 minutes of walking to/from the bus stop to home.

My boys are at a grammar and it’s great pastorally - don’t rule it out if you can get a place.
I really like having them around (they’re older teens now) so that long day plus boarding wouldn’t work for us - also it would mean they couldn’t do out of school extra curricular clubs. But I know they could do that through school if they went private and some parents prefer that. I’m lucky I have time to drive them myself etc and enjoy the chance for chats.

That sounds exhausting. 10 year olds need about 10 hours sleep. If they get in at 1915 they need time to eat, wash, wind down so earliest realistic bedtime is going to be 9pm and they have to be out the door exactly 10 hours later. I would go with the grammar.

DS old school did those hours, but his current one finishes at 5. Honestly, they get used to it! He used to flexi board a Friday and sat was a 2pm finish. A lot of it is sports and clubs, but they also get exeat weekends which break it up. I much prefer the 5pm finish, but it wasn’t a deal breaker.

What are they doing til 6? I guess if they are coming home and that’s it, them done. No homework, no more clubs then it’s ok.

My dc is at a top selective London school, yet there is no way I would ever choose a school that means a day that hideously long for a child. Where is their childhood?
leave home in the dark and get home in the dark, eat, shower and straight to bed. Sounds like a miserable way to live for a child.

My dc gets home at 3:45 or if doing a club then 4:40 latest and I make sure they have time to just be children, have a slower pace and have a moment to themselves. I would choose the grammar.

Why on Earth do you think that a state school is not a good option pastorally? Are there specific concerns you’ve heard or is it private vs state snobbery? Hell, my two went to a good comprehensive and the pastoral care was amazing.

Out of curiosity I looked at a well known private school in the NW as we have family in the area and the place revolves around it. Timings were broadly similar, although day pupils could stay for supper, other activities and prep, which was not included in the day timings - the school is very sporty so they have games and recreation for the last 90 mins. Even their prep school on a different site is 8-5 for early years and key stage 1.

IMO, an hour a day travel each way is bad enough on a standard school day. But when that day is 8-6, which is longer than most adults go to work, it feels like it would be a complete grind 5.5 days a week, especially over the winter.

I wouldn't do that to my children. I wouldn't want my work day to be that long nevermind for a child! They need time to unwind, relax, be with family and just be children.

It’s very much child dependent and many kids thrive at these types of schools. Lots of time during that week is spent doing sport, extra curricular activities, CCF, house time etc.

One of my DC did similar with flexi- boarding but it wasn’t the right thing for my other DC and we chose a different route.

In your case I think 2.5 hours on the bus most days would be the deal breaker for me and I would seek an alternative plan.

My DD is at a private school where the school day is 8:20am to 6pm. Minibus is 40mins where she says she just listens to music or chats with others. We were worried about the long day as she came from the local village primary where she was home by 3:30pm! Yes it took some getting used to and she was pretty tired the first term but actually its been great for her. The day includes an hour post lunch of activity (choice of a huge range if clubs), lessons finish at 4:15pm then another hour and a half of clubs or study/prep. So when she’s home at 6:45pm there’s no homework to do, just dinner and chill until 8:30pm ish bedtime. The pastoral care is superb and the choices of extra curriculars far exceeds whats on offer at the local schools, including the grammars. Its a full, rounded day and its worked for us. My other kids do normal school days but once I’ve ferried them to clubs each night their day doesn't “finish” until 6/7pm either, they just happen to be doing it all from home rather than school so I don't really see much of a difference. They also all leave at the same time (7:30am) and all take 40mins or so to get to school!

Echoing that it is child dependent. My DD would hate it. She has a slightly longer day at juniors and doesn't like it. She is reluctant to do clubs after school, as she wants to get home and have some unstructured time. Her friend sometimes does 2 clubs in one day, and does activities most days after school and weekends. Her friend would probably enjoy the school but DD wouldn't.

In terms of them doing prep at school, this can work really well for some kids who struggle to self motivate. It also keeps home more separate from school. It's not so great for others. I liked sitting at the kitchen table with a snack whilst my mum was.cooking dinner. It felt much more relaxed than staying at school.

It is a long day, and they'll be very tired to begin with, but if it includes all clubs and homework then it's not as bad as it sounds. My DC gets home at 5.30 if they stay after school for a school club (4-5pm), which they often do, and then will often have an outside school club plus homework to fit in afterwards. If you've got a child who likes doing lots of extra curricular activities (mine does lots of sport and music) then that wouldn't be unusual. On the other hand, if your child is more of a home body then it might not be right for them.

My dc have a similar day but that only started in Year 9. The thing to note is that the day would include homework time, ECAs and probably 3-4 afternoons of sport a week- my dc only have afternoon lessons 2 days a week- finish at 1pm the other 3 days. The break times and lunch times are also longer. They get a lot of holidays- 10 weeks in the summer, 3 at Easter and Christmas and 2 weeks at October half term ( 1 in Feb and May).

The assumption is that you’re not doing sports/ music etc out of school as well - I think the issue with over scheduling comes when day parents try to ram more stuff in around the edges. Also you’ve got a really long journey to and from - I know that’s really common in London but I’m not sure it’s compatible with that length of day.

Kids are much better off keeping busy than gawping at their screens at home, which sadly is what most of them do with their down time nowadays.

DD is day pupil at a boarding school. The day finishes at 5.10pm and she's hone by 5.45 but then has to do prep. Now in Yr 9 that's 1.5 hours per night.
She has Saturday school too but every 3-4 weeks gets Exeat.

So of your child is getting home at 7pm fed + with prep done then that's not bad. Works out less hours than my DD and you child will still have down time in the evening.
Maybe look at flexi boarding Mon + Tues to reduce travel time

Yes they find it long at first but soon adapt. Getting prep done at school means they get a clear demarcation between school + home too.

Better than them getting home at 3pm and spending the rest of the day and evening glued to their phones!

Mine are far less tired after a longer day at their private school than a shorter day in their state school. The atmosphere is calmer and they have far more opportunities for down time throughout they day - longer lunches, breaks, Something active every day.

Saturday lessons would be a deal breaker for me, though. Unless you mean fixtures, in which case it would depend on whether my child was sporty or not.

Presumably there’s no option to shorten the journey? My senior school was a 30 minute drive but because of the convoluted route the bus took, it took 75 minutes.

DS is in KS2 in a private primary school and has to do 730-6 4 days a week when we are both working out of the home, then sports training 7-8pm twice a week. He’s fine with it and all homework is done in wraparound care so our weekends are for us to enjoy.

Mine are at independent schools (aged 11 and 10). They leave at 7.30am and get home at about 5.15pm. They still have to do their homework when they get home. They’re shattered but in a good way… they do loads of fun stuff at school (lunch clubs etc) so have plenty of time to ‘be kids’, and the only thing they seem to be missing out on that their friends with shorter days get up to is lots of screen time!
All homework is done in the week so weekends are free (apart from sports fixtures, which they love).
I think it very much depends on the child. Mine absolutely thrive on being busy. They love spending the longer day with their school friends. Some would hate it and need more wind down time.

@678socks my DC started as a day pupil at a full boarding school this term and absolutely loves it. Like you I worried about the long days but they are thriving…..they often phone to be asked to stay for longer…the earliest he can picked up is 6pm….often they stay until 8/9pm and sometimes 10 at their request. Yes it is a very long day but lunch is longer, downtime is longer, only have full days of lessons 3 times a week with three half days of lessons snd the rest of the time is doing extra curricular such as sport, art, house competitions etc. A month in and we have absolutely no regrets.

*I will caveat that we only live a 10 minute car journey from the school….im not sure that they’d or we’d be as happy if they had a really long bus journey on top of a long day though.

Whether the long day is too much is genuinely hard to answer without having lived it, and the honest answer is that the first few weeks feel very different from term two onwards.
What most parents don't anticipate is that the structure of a long day at a boarding school is different from a long day elsewhere. The time after lessons isn't just school continuing. It shifts into something more like house life, with sport, activities, and prep in a completely different rhythm. The transition from "school day" to "boarding evening" happens naturally and doesn't feel like an extension of lessons the way a long commute home would.
The flexi option can actually help with the tiredness question rather than add to it. On nights you board, your child arrives at the house having already done prep and wound down with others, rather than sitting on a bus for two hours after a full day. Tiredness in the first term is real and almost universal, but it's a different kind of tired from being ground down by commuting.
The one thing worth asking the school directly is what a typical evening looks like for flexi boarders specifically. Some schools fold them into house life completely; others treat them as slightly separate. That distinction matters more than the hours on paper.
If it helps to hear more about what those first weeks actually feel like from the inside, there's a free preview of a student-written guide at boardingschoolguide on Instagram.