For those who switched from state to private school, why?

[pimlicopubber]

We live in London and our son has just started at an outstanding-rated state primary. We never thought about private before. Both DH and I grew up abroad with very modest backgrounds, went to good unis and built solid careers, so we always assumed our kids would be fine in state.

But so far I’m a bit disappointed. 30 kids crammed into a small classroom, hardly any outdoor time, TV every day, and we didn’t get into any of the first clubs we applied for. It’s only the second week, but I already find myself googling private options.

We could just about afford it, but it would mean moving out of our (expensive) area to somewhere with more affordable housing.

For those who’ve had experience of both – is private primary really worth it compared to an outstanding state? People recommended staying and tutoring in the future, but the school already finishes late, I can't see having my children sit down with a tutor after a full day at school?

We moved from state primary to a small prep in Year 1, mainly because our financial circumstances changed and it became feasible without much impact on our quality of life. The state school had an excellent reputation but the prep provides so much more. Much smaller class sizes (this year, in Year 3 DD1 is in a class of 12, and in Reception DD2 is in a class of 10), specialist teachers for PE, science, ballet, French, art and music, school trips (including residentials starting in Year 3), drama productions and concerts, easily accessible wraparound care (can book it on the day, per hour, so you just use it when you need it), extracurriculars before school, lunchtime and after school, lots of resources in terms of books, art materials, sports equipment, IT.

It's a small school and DD1 seems to know everyone there, and it's kind and nurturing and you always get the sense the teachers have time for the children, which we didn't have in a class of 30. The preparation for 11+ seems to be strong with good destination schools and I like the fact that DD will be preparing in class with her friends, as I'm sure it can be isolating and hard to motivate just doing on your own with a tutor. We already spend a fair bit of time on sports/dance extracurriculars out of school and we would find it hard to add in a tutor.

I would run through all the costs though as it's a huge financial commitment, and is definitely only getting more expensive.

We will be forced to make the move if the child who bites others doesn’t stop. Very expensive to avoid being bitten.

I moved one at the age of 8. We said we felt DC had lost his spark, and teacher said he seemed OK. Always difficult to gauge how things were going academically - school wouldn’t say if he was towards the top or bottom of the class. No follow up over our concerns.

We ended up getting DC assessed. Performance in school was ‘high average’ which we hadn’t previously been told. Ed psychologist found DC got 141 in CAT tests, and likely ADHD. Small prep school has offered no scope to go under the radar, excellent teaching, and child is much happier.

Siblings stayed at state and are doing well. Being in a strict comprehensive has been great for bright compliant children. I really value them meeting a wide range of other children. Though comprehensive has fewer clubs and sport, the curriculum is broader to cater for less academic children e.g. cookery, DT taken seriously.

I would like wait a bit before you make that decision. I have 3 kids all in private school now but when they started them they did state school. And I know it feels like you won’t be able to get tutoring now but you will. I did it for my eldest as at the time we were going to go for a grammar school. And he managed just fine (and got in!). If you want them to go private from secondary or a grammar school tutoring will be the only solution (at least in our area as it’s a highly sought area for grammars)

If the child wants to learn they have potential to do well. My son has extra tuition at home as I don’t have the funds for private. State schools are a stretched system that can’t cope but tries. The extra tuition gives my son that boost he needs. The teachers don’t seem to have the time for him to answer any of his questions or expand his learning. Too busy dealing with children that choose to act like class clowns and have no drive to learn or do well.

Our reasons were no provision for quiet SENDs children (well behaved, shy but very dyslexic son got completely ignored) and relentless bullying of kids who don’t fit the stereotypical “boys love football and playing rough” picture (school not interested).

We have made the opposite move. I’d advise you to give it a little more time and think carefully about your options before you switch!

Our prep was excellent in lots of ways - beautiful grounds, all the sports and extracurricular everything. BUT we realised that the ethos didn’t work for us. There is a lot of academic pressure on the children, with intense competition and extra outside tutors from year one. We also worried about the fine line between confidence and entitlement, with lots of spoilt behaviour and birthday parties involving tons of expensive presents. It just didn’t align with our values and our wishes for our children to have a more carefree childhood. State school has been much more inclusive and nurturing - everyone is valued as an individual rather than as an exam result or chess team member.

So, we could afford prep but have opted out. We are in the fortunate position that we will be able to move back if any of the children struggle in state (eg. additional needs).

Just make sure that you consider individual schools on their merits, rather than making broad comparisons between two sectors.