The Oratory School(Woodcote) Vs The Cokethorpe (Oxfordshire)

[MyAmara]

Hello,

We have offers from both The Oratory and Cokethorpe for our son and would love to hear from parents with experience of either school.

About our son:

• Bright but not very motivated academically, struggles with focus and effort.
• Sporty- enjoys and engages best when active.
• Not interested in music, arts or drama.
• We want him in a school that encourages him, pushes him to give his best, and supports him to build confidence and resilience.

Practicalities like cost, transport, and the flexibility of occasional boarding are all fine for us and not deciding factors.

What we’d love to know from current/previous parents:

• Do these schools actually motivate and support children who aren’t naturally academic?
• How strong is the sports offering, and how well is it balanced with academics?
• What is pastoral care like day-to-day?
• Any strengths or drawbacks that don’t show up on the glossy brochures?

We’re trying to choose the environment where he will feel inspired and supported to reach his potential. Honest experiences would be hugely appreciated.

We sent our son to Cokethorpe and were very disappointed. I would not recommend it.

For context our DS is very bright academically, finds Maths very easy and is focused on going to uni to do a STEM Subject. So truthfully he's a bright lad.

We picked Cokethorpe as we suspected he has ASD and wanted a good acadmic and supportive environment for him. The pastoral care was a big draw for us.

He started in the Junior school at Cokethorpe and we were initially happy but then as time went on we started to notice things weren't quite as good as we'd hoped.

The pastoral care wasn't as good as we were led to believe. They were cold and unsupportive when we asked for help (DS was suspected ASD at the time). I found some of their behaviour quite odd in fact. It was like they talked a good game but didn't really know what to do and were very much of the 1980s attitude (stand up straight, shake hands with your teacher and if there's any issues it must be down to behaviour not any additional needs). It was a bit strange and out of touch to be honest.

A lot of the time was spent on marketing activities (schools plays and events) that would go in the brochures but not really enough time on the core academics.

We eventually had to relocate and put our DS into the local state school. They assessed his level and said that he was behind academically and hadn't been taught a lot of the core academic skills they would have expected by that stage. So essentially he was behind the national curriculum. We were furious to say the least. luckily the state school were excellent and worked hard to bring him up to speed and soon he was in the Greater Depth category for Maths and doing well at English.

Cokethorpe also said there's no bullying but I had to break up a bullying incident where 3 teenage boys had one on the ground and were kicking him. The teachers didn't step in, just ignored it. The boys smirked and thought it was a great joke, I had to check on the lad on the floor and pretty much shamed the teachers into doing something.

Our DS is now in private secondary, having completed junior school in the local state. So I'm not anti private schools, I just feel like you need to be careful and really look beyond the glossy brochure and manicured lawns. They are not all of the same standard.

I'm sure others may have different experiences but I honestly wouldn't recommend Cokethorpe. I believe it's not worth the money you would be paying.

Oxfordshire has so many other schools to choose from that would be a better acadmic investment for your child. Good luck 👍🏻

@MyAmara

Feel free to PM me if you want.

@GinsBond Thanks so much. What form was your son at CT when you left?

Let me see if an Oratory parent can chime in.

Have a look at this thread OP

www.mumsnet.com/talk/private-school/5161474-cokethorpe?reply=144435310

My name change has clearly been outed on the other thread 😂

But I still stand by everything I said.

Oratory parent here!

I have two children there. On the whole it’s been good. For one of them the year group, not the school was the problem, but they’ve definitely got the best out of him academically as he finds it hard to concentrate (suspect ADHD traits etc).

Typicslly caters to the ‘middle ground’ academically, with value added etc, but the brighter and academic scholars are pushed and those capable do well.

its a small school so the pupils cannot hide! Teachers know the kids well.

Sport is strong and there’s something got everyone. There’s always something going on. Big sports are rugby, football, racquets (real tennis and grass tennis courts, badminton and squash, Padel courts being built), hockey, netball, rowing.

All pupils allocated a boarding house (even if day pupils) so have that feeling of identity. Flexi boarding very flexible and easy to arrange.

My two went to quite a posh prep, and although it was lovely and they loved it, it was a bit OTT, whereas OS is pretty down to earth.

Downsides - very long day. Kids are exhausted. The last head (who disappeared after only one year mysteriously) forced through a few changes such as getting rid of Saturday school. But they still play sport on Saturday, so if there is a match on (which you don’t find out for certain until the Thursday before if your child is playing) you have to make the journey in. Current head - so far so good (but was deputy head for a few years here before so we are all familiar with him).

Obviously the religious side of things either attracts or puts people off! I’m not religious, although I did go to catholic schools so it’s not an issue and the overriding message to the kids get is be kind, help those less fortunate than yourself, treat others as you wish to be treated which is no bad thing!

Thank you so much for your insights!

Confirmed what another parent told me and our experience so far!

I have a happy and settled child in there now.

That’s fab! Glad all ok 👍🏼

Cokethorpe was a scummy school when I was at school (finished 2005). Sounds like not much has changed. Oratory is a weird one. When I was there, it had eccentric Classics teachers for top set and their disciples would go off to Oxbridge. At the other end, they were trying to drag set 4 to a 5 GCSE outcome. It was a school for all abilities. I thank it was a bit of a late mover and got left behind as it focused on boarding, all boys, catholicism, and pretty 'traditional' attitudes to pupil welfare where most things were explained by 'boys will be boys'. Meanwhile, the many local competitors went big on day boys, co-ed and, academics. Always had an outstanding art department, sports provision, and some cracking facilities. It looks like it's getting better and better which is great to see. Clearly it's a very different school now but I am sure it still has a personality. So many of these schools now project a constant and nauseating Instagram reel of the same, same.