Private School Expectations are too much!

[EasierToWalkAway]

DC attends an all-through indie and is currently Y6. School have set up a one-off all day event next Sunday which all children in their cohort, along with children in the senior school. are “expected” to attend. I’m sure it will be a great day but given our other family commitments over the weekend, not to mention late clubs on the Thursday & Friday before as well as the Monday after, I know it will be too much for DC. There is so much going on as we approach the end of term. I want to be supportive and at any other time of year it would’ve been great for DC to do the special Sunday event. However, I feel school did not take this into account when selecting their Sunday.

Is there a diplomatic way to get DC out of this? Or WIBU just to tell them the truth?

Also they can’t make you surely?

DS is doing A levels and is first XV rugby which is a huge commitment. He still had to attend the Open Day. It’s one day a year. Life is busy and that is part of the Indy thing. Unless you genuinely have a prior commitment I think you should ensure he attends.

My DS is a day boy at a full boarding school. There is stuff on evenings and weekends all the time- which is fair enough as they are keeping the boarders busy and entertained. DS just goes to what he wants to- there has never been any blow-back from not attending.

Have you reflected on why your child will be overwhelmed, but all the other children in the same year will cope?

What can you change at home to make that week easier? Meals as soon as kids walk in from late events? Items for school the next day packed the night before etc.

We all have times where we have extra busy weeks. It happens to me as an adult, but what gets me through those weeks that look impossible, is knowing that I’ve always found a way to manage them before.

Acknowledge that it will be a busy week and people will be tired, then plan some extra downtime the following weekend. This is how resilience is built.

Have you reflected on why your child will be overwhelmed, but all the other children in the same year will cope?

My thoughts exactly. DS was competing in a sport at national level while doing Highers. At one point it was the sport that had to give way to the needs of school. You decide your priorities, but when I'm paying £££ I know in which direction my support is applied.

'Indy' rather makes it seem like a band/style of music. This is a circumstance in which 'Independent school' needs to be typed in full or just say 'private school'

Can they have a chill day on Saturday?

If I've read the OP correctly this event is for Y6 and above at the school. It therefore sounds to me like a transition event ie inviting the pupils of the current Y6 to get to know more people in the senior school. For that reason I think your child should be there even if family or sport have to be put aside for one week.

It's one Sunday doing events with the senior school. It sounds like a transition event to me.

True. I was using the OPs phrase. It isn’t a term I have ever used elsewhere!

Apols, fair enough

Well I am not part of the private world currently (will be for secondary) so forgive my ignorance, but can’t you just…. not go?! Does the school honestly worry about a few no shows? That said a one off Sunday doesn’t sound that big a deal, my kids do plenty of one off days like that with beavers/cubs/scouts and they’re usually full on but fun (for them!)

Just realised this post is from a year ago!

I think you have to suck it up. The odd compulsory weekend event isn’t going to have that much impact. You sound like you’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be especially as they’re about to have a massive summer break.

Our state funded school is like this. Not the uk. We chose the school for its high expectations of students and families.

We always prioritize school. Unless it is a wedding, funeral, or similar life event, family obligations get scheduled around the school calendar.

It’s what you sign up for IMO. Either embrace it or don’t. I think there’s no point paying all that money unless you’re going to take advantage of all that the school is offering. Your DC will benefit.

It also helps create a sense of belonging to a school community and helps your DC feel part of its culture.