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Private school

Connect with fellow parents here about private schooling. Parents seeking advice on boarding school can vist our dedicated forum.

Are private schools still worth it?

65 replies

NeedyRubySheep · 28/05/2025 09:53

We moved to Camberley, Surrey at the beginning of the school year, my 10-year-old is starting Y6 in September (state school). We´ve started to evaluate the choices for Y7 and are very much on the fence regarding state or private school. Based on your experience, do private schools still provide "an edge". The price tag is so big, that we are wondering if it´s worth it.
We are considering Wellington prep college, Hurst Lodge and LVS Ascot, any parents with children there?

For state school it´s definitely Tomlinscote, which is rated as outstanding. Any parents with children there? My kid had a tough time leaving his friends in his previous school, he doesn´t want to start over again in year 7 and most kids in his school will go probably continue at Tomlinscote.
We are getting so anxious about the decision.
Thank you!

OP posts:
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declutteringmymind · 13/07/2025 10:33

I think it depends on your circumstances. We moved for outstanding primary then chose private for secondary as our nearest schools didn’t give the academic stretch, weren’t diverse, and the enrichment offer just didn’t compare. However my son will likely go to the local state sixth form colleges (ranked 9th and 12th in the uk respectively) as the teachers there are specialist in A-level only and their careers offer is better that the all through private that he currently attends.

luckily we can afford to do either but it’s about what’s right.

If you are in Surrey though I would veer towards private school or an outstanding state. Because the aspirational kids have either been taken by grammar or the private schools, and London schools are more underfunded than most (even though they get the most money).

There are really good state sixth form options in Surrey though post gcse. As all good sixth form is selective.

declutteringmymind · 13/07/2025 10:35

Your other option is tomlinscote with tuition and managing the enrichment yourself. If you have one child it’s doable.

Hothothothothothotlovingit · 13/07/2025 10:36

My DC went to State school/college. They achieved the A stars they needed in their A levels to do the professional degree of their choice. However, we had no choice because we couldn’t afford the independent school fees. If I could and they hadn’t got the grades they needed I would always be wondering what if? It’s such a relief when they get to 18 and all their plans fall into place! I know the road ahead is still fraught with challenges but they are adult challenges and although as parents we will be on hand to support them it feels different.

Ask yourself this. Can you live with the what if for the next 6 to 8 years?

I have nothing but good things to say about the State system in our area but, I had no choice.

WhoAteAllTheDinosaurs · 13/07/2025 13:36

For our daughter, from Y7 up? Absolutely, without question. She is happy and thriving and achieving, and being stretched. But the absolute impact of her current school is not in academia but in the interest the teachers take in the pupils. FAR more than in her state middle school, where she was bored, had far fewer opportunities, and very little input from teachers as she was quiet, well-behaved and got on with things.
But she was also only surviving there.
I don't think that private primary would have been worth it - her first school was very good, and her middle school did teach her how to get on with a big mix of people, avoid trouble, cope with peer pressure etc.
We don't care where or if she goes to uni. We don't care what she wants to be when she grows up. We care that she is happy and confident, and has options open to her.

Alltheoldpaintings · 13/07/2025 13:48

Totally depends on your child and the schools.

What I would say is you seem to be thinking about the (potential) advantage being better grades, better uni place.

My kids are at private school and most of our relatives and friends’ kids are also (various privates across the country). I think “better grades” was only a factor for a few of them - for the vast majority of the private school parents that I know it’s more about pastoral support, SEN support, wrap around care, behavior in classes, or access to particular resources or training for sports and other extra-curriculars.

If those things aren’t relevant or important to you then it’s probably not worthwhile.

sosnovijbor · 28/06/2026 22:44

Hi , sorry I might be late in that conversation but I am looking into less competitive private school for my DS, went to LVS open morning, liked what we saw. On their admission requirements says that it’s Quest Assessment. Anyone did that? How hard it is and how to prepare for that test? Atom learning or some other platform?

ecologist111444 · 08/07/2026 08:39

Hi, I used to think yes but then had a bad experience with Truro High School for Girls and had to take our daughter out of the school. I really do think it depends entirely upon the choice of school in question. As others have said, if there is the alternative of a good state school or grammar then I think this can be as successful.

SchoolRunDays · 08/07/2026 10:26

Calmdownpeople · 28/05/2025 17:31

Come on OP. Smaller class sizes - yeah but then can have more kids with needs put there by the council or parents who knew mainstream wasn’t for them. Our local state has academic clinics in case kids fall behind

Better grades? Well the ones near us are compatible for A level results.

Better facilities - nope the three around us don’t have facilities our local state does.

And edge to uni? Nope, sometimes it can go the other way. Otherwise it would bias private schools which it isn’t allowed to do (anymore).

Experiences? I have no idea what the local private schools do. Offered at out local state - ski trip to Italy, Spanish trip, French trip, German trip, Greece trip and Costa Rica and then local trips including a STEM day at Cambridge.

Have I ever hired someone in business because they went to private? Nope.

I have been to both and we can easily afford it and I wouldn’t waste the money. What if your kid doesn’t want to go to uni or wants to do something that an expensive education isn’t needed for? I work with someone who spent close to £450k and her kid wanted to be a physio. Great career and he’s doing well but really didn’t need his very expensive education to do that.

Save your money. Have amazing adventures and holidays. Give your kid awesome things to remember.

But completely understand this is my opinion and others eill be positive the other way. I would visit all of them and see how you feel. Research grades. Ask about tutoring etc.

📌

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5551437-independent-schools-in-2026-are-full-fees-still-worth-paying?reply=153382614

save your investment for your own kids future Uni/Home Independent schools are crooks. Staff all closing ranks to keep funding for their own kids. Fact.

Independent schools in 2026: are full fees still worth paying? | Mumsnet

Independent schools 2026. Full fee paying parents reality. Paying more for diluted provision. Cuts, cancellations of Co curricular. Paying for school...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5551437-independent-schools-in-2026-are-full-fees-still-worth-paying?reply=153382614

38thparallel · 08/07/2026 10:33

There's a reason why the great and the good have educated their children privately for centuries.
There's also a reason why public school alumni continue to dominate the top professions.

@Oxonian2 What are these reasons?

38thparallel · 08/07/2026 10:35

@Changinggoalposts
I don't know that a private education is always a good thing when it comes to careers. I see lots of people that have been taught to pass exams drowning in a role they are unable to fully understand. Those with the same qualifications from state school often have the edge

How do you know where all these co-workers went to school?

SchoolRunDays · 08/07/2026 10:37

38thparallel · 08/07/2026 10:33

There's a reason why the great and the good have educated their children privately for centuries.
There's also a reason why public school alumni continue to dominate the top professions.

@Oxonian2 What are these reasons?

That was before A.I and Chat GPT

SchoolRunDays · 08/07/2026 10:41

38thparallel · 08/07/2026 10:33

There's a reason why the great and the good have educated their children privately for centuries.
There's also a reason why public school alumni continue to dominate the top professions.

@Oxonian2 What are these reasons?

They’re all broke. Closing down or merging. Cancelling co curricular while the US and the rest of the world educate their children with the latest technology and A.I. investment.

Families in UK are wasting money educating their children outdated institutions who are too busy propping up their operational costs to deliver in today’s society.

SchoolRunDays · 08/07/2026 10:43

SchoolRunDays · 08/07/2026 10:41

They’re all broke. Closing down or merging. Cancelling co curricular while the US and the rest of the world educate their children with the latest technology and A.I. investment.

Families in UK are wasting money educating their children outdated institutions who are too busy propping up their operational costs to deliver in today’s society.

📌

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5551437-independent-schools-in-2026-are-full-fees-still-worth-paying?reply=153382614

Independent schools in 2026: are full fees still worth paying? | Mumsnet

Independent schools 2026. Full fee paying parents reality. Paying more for diluted provision. Cuts, cancellations of Co curricular. Paying for school...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5551437-independent-schools-in-2026-are-full-fees-still-worth-paying?reply=153382614

Crikeyalmighty · 08/07/2026 11:00

I would go for the good state school OP - my son has been to both, a bright lad but not outstandingly academic on paper -above average- yes. He did around the same at both - the comp was a decent one in an ok area, not dissimilar to where you are. My view is the state gave him the ability to mix and get on with all kinds of other kids including a few challenging ones. Life isa mix and I think it’s important - he actually went into a tech apprenticeship at 16 and is now 28 lives in London and he’s fantastic with clients - from local garages and building merchants to hedge funders and architects- what I will say was the private school ( well state boarding) gave him a bit more polish and ability to debate etc- the state school gave him the wider soft skills to communicate well across demographics - my son wasn’t sporty so vast amounts of sports facilities were somewhat wasted on him . I think your child will thank you far more if you save even half the money and can pay his accommodation at 18 or allow him to do an internship or apprenticeship etc or give him a leg up on a flat deposit

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