Visited an open day for Dallington school and really loved the school's ethos. They also mentioned that half the kids end up in state later on and there isn't a lot of emphasis on 11+ prep.
Now I am not into hothousing at all but the reality is that for us, the catchment for the (outstanding)local comprehensive is 0.2 miles (we live 0.3 miles away) and the outstanding faith state school we would qualify for operates on a lottery basis (kids bussed in from all over London). Most private secondary schools are selective. If we send to Dallington, do we accept that we have to pay for tuition. But if all the prep school kids get tutored anyway, what's the difference and I do think the Dallington kids are effective in learning, they just aren't prepped in the same way as in other preps cos that isn't the ethos of the school..
This is literally my only concern about dallington. I suppose I would have the same issues sending to state but then again it's not exactly a choice of Dallington vs state and I do think I prefer Dallington to the best state option I have (as it's quite hard to replicate something like Dallington at a state school and I think it's lovely for little ones).