Can you help me choose which private school?

[Manateetime]

I'm really unsure which option to go for, and I could do with talking it through! One is brilliant on paper, but the other just "feels right".

I know people will probably immediately think "go with what feels right", but I'm not sure I trust my instincts enough yet!

Option 1: facilities are amazing. The grounds are so impressive. Plenty of extracurriculars to choose from. The teachers I've met seem great, honestly there isn't anything bad I can said about it. But, for some reason, it just doesn't quite feel right. DS is 7, so I realise I can't confidently say what he will and won't like in the future, but I don't see him as being "into" everything, just perhaps passionate about a few things. So, I'm not sure he really needs everything that is on offer. Also, and I know this sounds judgey and I don't mean it too, but I just get a feeling about some of the parents there. I don't know why. I went to a private school myself so none of this is alien to me, but I felt out of place. Maybe because he's so young and it all feels so intense.

Option 2: quite a bit cheaper. Facilities are good, and much better than our state option, but nowhere near as fancy as Option 1. Teachers are also fantastic, and it has a lovely family feel to it. Chaotic but in a good way, if that makes sense. Feels like his current school, but which all the extras.

On paper, Option 1 is the best and I feel like if we're going to go down this route, we should do it properly and give him all the opportunities we can. That's Option 1. I'm worried my preference for Option 2 is because I'm fearful of making a mistake, so I'm going for something that feels more familiar?

Pastoral care is fantastic at both.

Please help me decide!

Maybe you need an option 3.

If no option 3, Personally I’d go for option 1 as you always get those kind of parents.

My children did a short spell in a chaotic school and it drove me mad - never prepared at the end of year presentations etc. Bad planning and bad organisation.

Age 7 you need to be thinking is it a through school and do they prep for 11 plus. Also consider logistics.

Even if they offer the clubs you are not guaranteed a space - it’s the fastest button first. Some clubs at my children’s schools go in less than one / two minutes of opening. So even if they offer it you might not get a space.

@Idontlikecrisps thank you that's helpful. Option 2 is all through, Option 1 isn't. We're a grammar area as well, and option 2 seems to do a lot of prep for it. Both schools are close by. We'd be keen for DS to go to the grammar, and if he didn't get in (or didn't want to go) then perhaps continue with the private education into secondary.

I say option 2 is chaotic, but I'm not sure that's quite the right word. Perhaps slightly less well-organised than option 1, but in a way that feels more natural. I'm not sure I'm making any sense!

Having pulled my youngest out of a through school that they stated did excellent 11 plus 🤣 and failed to prep my eldest girl - there is a huge difference (started a new prep this Sept already a HUGE difference)

The prep school wants to show destination schools so will prep them to entice new parents / children.

The through schools want to “keep your child” aka cash so they don’t prep to the same
level. Experienced it twice in 2 separate through schools (with girls and boys 🤣). Check out factual lists of where children went (some heads are great at chatting the waffle 🤣)

If you’re in a grammar area I’d defo go for a non through school.

Look at ratios girl : boy.
Look how many children move out of the school for senior school and where they went to in an actual table / report not what they say on a tour / walk round / presentation.

Id defo go for the prep school - but you only needing to practice for 11 plus at starting in year 5 So maybe you could leave it for a couple of years if you’re worried about cash

Good luck

I agree with above. Through schools don’t prep for 11+ in the same way as a non- through school . They offer you a place on the basis that you are going all through and so only really prep for internal end of year assessments in year 6 that they will use for streaming in year 7. The other school will do proper prep for 11+ as they need the destination schools for their publicity and marketing. If you don’t want the pressure of 11+ or like the idea of a guaranteed place if you don’t get the grammar, I would go for option 2 and tutor externally .

Has your little one had a taster day or two? What does DS think?

My DS at 10 went to five different schools for taster days. I went to the open days and asked all my questions. Several of the schools were perfect on paper but I wanted his thoughts.

After all the visits we compared notes and had both chosen the same school. It 'felt right'.

It has been the right school for him, academic, supportive, a calm, consistent environment where he has been happy.

Have you checked out the schools’ pupil numbers and financial situations? Risks of small / falling pupil numbers and even closure are important to consider IMO.

You mention a lot of things that you can’t ascertain before your DC attend the school, unless perhaps you know a lot of parents whose DC attend both.

If option 2 is a smaller school and ‘all through’ there will be disincentives for them prepping DC for selective secondaries, so would avoid since you want selective secondary for your DC.

I agree with the comments about 11+ prep and that needs to be your focus if you want the grammar to be the final destination. I think you also need to consider the fact that at the end of the non-through school everyone in y6 will leave rather than your DS potentially being only one of a handful who does - so he won’t be feeling like he’s being pulled away from his friends.

Out of interest, why is he leaving his current school?