Please help to decide Private schools

[guest202]

Our two sons are currently at Dulwich Prep London. They are still year 1-2. The fees are going up again on top of VAT. We have enough savings for 3 years, but not sure what’s going to happen next. We don’t have passive income, salaries are not enough to pay for schools so we are using savings. We also want a better house that doesn’t need renovation and ideally a new house not Victorian. Dulwich doesn’t have these houses.

I was thinking to apply for 7+ and see where we get space and move to that area, but the school has to be on the same level or higher than the current one. Also, hesitating whether to move them to state as this financial burden doesn’t let me sleep at night.

is there an area where we could move for newish houses with a top private school and excellent state as a plan B?

really, just wanted to hear other people’s views.

Where do you need to be day-2-day for jobs, family etc.

Job is at King’s Cross and husband is at Canary Wharf. But jobs might change as well. If it changes it’s likely to be City, Canary Wharf or Victoria. Otherwise we have no family here.

The fact is you can’t afford to educate your kids privately. There’s no shame in this. It’s the norm.

What's the plan after those 3 years when savings are depleted?
Moving house, with all the associated costs, and looking for a higher level private school sounds a massive financial burden.

You can’t afford private school. Why would you have them move school now to another private, then move them again to a state primary in 3 years? Just move to a state primary now

you need to consider that excellent state primaries may not have spaces. I suggest you look for one with a lot of movement

Do you have loads of house equity? It seems like you are struggling to afford the fees now so I'm not sure why you want to commit to more fees?

you need to consider that excellent state primaries may not have spaces.

because of falling birth rates many in London do.

You could move them to a good state primary & then save for private secondary or try for a grammar place?

This I’m afraid. Why on earth did you start on the private school journey in the first place? There are excellent state primaries in Dulwich.

You are not prioritising your children’s futures by neglecting your family’s financial stability and your own retirement.

Don’t do this to yourselves and your little ones….go to state before they are old enough to realise the difference between the facilities. Fees are only going one way and 3 years savings isn’t enough and it will only get tougher as they get older also the scramble for selective grammars places at 11+ is only going to get more difficult. Take the pressure off, move to a place that you can afford and has a good primary and secondary.

Just move to a house in the catchment of great state schools - when you are in the private system, state can seem very scary but once you move you will regret not doing so sooner (and hopefully will have some savings left!!). Take a look at Bromley (access to great primary state schools, get in the catchment area for great non-selective secondary schools and also access to grammar schools).

You’re obviously a mum who wants to balance all the needs of your family, giving them the education they deserve, a lovely home within a good local environment that’s not too far from the office.

Not paying for a private school does not mean that your kids are getting less than they deserve. If you can concentrate on finding an outstanding school in catchment, you’ll inevitably end up paying more for the house given the proximity to school. Also try and look forward to secondary/grammar schools.

But continuing with the private education that you may not be able to afford will put pressures on other aspects of your homelife which may well negate the benefits of a private school.

You absolutely need to start looking at decent state primaries - you can then start saving for secondary if you’re still wedded to private at that stage. But honestly, there are amazing state options for both primary & secondary in & around London. We did state till 11 then private from 11+ (because the state secondary in the area we moved to turned out to be very much not great) but its made life more difficult (& I do often worry about finances though we are in the last 3 years).

Put your children in state and save up. You might be able to afford it for secondary. I never understood this, why would people put their dc in private when they do not have enough for fees long term. We did not put her dc in private for primary years and now send them for secondary. They got into very good secondary schools. And even though we have enough savings to pay for secondary, I still worry. It is a lot of money and as you say, the fees go up every year. It is a crazy amount. If you have a good state primary, try to get a spot and send them there. Can you save yearly and invest the money to have enough for secondary private school?

And if you still do not have enough for fees for all of secondary, I would keep them in state and just get tutors to help ensure good exam scores to get into a great University.

If you can’t afford the fees from income and are going through savings then you’ll have the same problem anywhere else really. So I don’t see what doing the 7+ would solve. You’d be much better moving then to state ideally somewhere you want to be.

If the financial stress of private school is causing you to lose sleep, I really think you need to re-evaluate your schooling choices. I'm not anti private schools at all, both my DC go, but if you're unsure whether you'll be able to afford it in future and it's causing you this much stress, I would personally prioritise moving to an area with great state options and take that stress off yourselves. You already want a modern house with good links to KX and Canary Wharf, when you add in good state schools too, that's quite a list of wants without worrying about also having great private options. Are you open to moving outside London?

thank you! Sure, we would be open to move outside of London as long as commute is manageable. The more I read the more I realise we need to move schools asap.

I guess the plan would be move to state, move to a nice house in the area with good state primary and private and commutable to secondary private, try and save for private for 11+, see where we are in a couple of years time and if still thinking of going private , start tutoring and use saved money to pay for private secondary.

What would be the area then? Where to go?

Hmm, well i think look for a place you can afford that has a good state primary. And check there are some private secondary schools nearby. Not possible to get everything. We have a really good state primary coed, outstanding secondary for girls and nothing great for boys. The private schools my oldest goes to and ds will start this Sept take abut 40 mins to get to with traffic via public bus and 30 mins tube or 20 mins biking. It is hard to find a place that has amazing primary and secondary plus amazing private prep/secondary on your door step....and im sure those houses would cost a fortune.

I'd maybe take a look at Bromley op...

I would start by looking at transport links for work and deciding how long you are willing to commute and see what’s around there. I live in North London and do 50 minute all in commute to CW. Also ofcourse depends on how much you are in the office. Might be a less dependent factor if it’s just once a week. Cross check area then by schools.

But Dulwich is a really good school, there are not that many schools at the same level or higher. I’d target schools first and houses second.

Or maybe just move to state primary from September (give notice asap) and reapply to Dulwich for 11+?

Will you be able to afford private secondary though? Surely you need a back up option. Fees will be closer to 40k per year by the time dc are old enough.

https://www.timeout.com/uk/news/the-uks-top-10-comprehensive-state-secondary-schools-for-2025-have-been-named-by-the-sunday-times-120924

You need to be in an area with good primary schools and in catchment for the 11+. Maybe consider private schools again later, but probably best to save up for now. Have you considered Bromley, Orpington, Sevenoaks?

Thank you. Sevenoaks would be great. But I don’t drive and I realised it will be a problem there with school drops off and pick up. I am thinking the same, save now and hopefully our income will improve for 11+. Another thing about moving which I can’t decide on is paying stamp duty again, which would be a year or so worth of school fees.. really not sure what’s the best way.
if we stay in current house and get to one of primary schools in Dulwich, no need to spend on stamp duty and move for 11+. But this would mean 5 odd years in the house I don’t like..