St Dunstans or Alleyns for 4+?

[SE23mother]

In the lucky position that DS almost 4 has received offers from St Dunstans, Dulwich Prep and now Alleyns for Reception start later this year.
We had our heart set on St Dunstans previously (and have accepted offer and paid deposit in December) as had a great impression of their Junior School Head, it’s feels more diverse and down to earth than your average private school and that it is on an exciting trajectory. It is also walkable from where we currently live which makes for easier and stress free drop offs and picks ups as both me and DH have to go into Central London 2-3 days a week.
Tbh, I didn’t really expect to get an offer from Alleyns due to its popularity so this has thrown a curve ball! We also really liked the school during visits and it is of course a more established and prestigious name. However, it is not walkable from our current house in Forest Hill so we would either have to drive (but parking seems a nightmare) or take bus or look into cycling which all seem quite long and stressful options at primary stage. Or we could look at moving closer but we like where we live and would obvs have to pay a premium for a similar house closer to Dulwich…

What would you do in our situation? TA

Stick with your plan, walking distance is a huge plus.

a good position to be in. congratulations

Go with Alleyns-so much better in every way!!

Any other opinions? To sum up:

School A:
Indie through school, relatively down to earth, great impression of head, overall vibe seems to be on the up, ambitious without being stuffy (jumped 100 places in the TES ranking this year), 20min walk (which I value A LOT), cohort seems quite local which is important to us as DS is an only so want him to make friends plus become a part of the school community

School B:
Very well regarded & prestigious (#22 in TES ranking I believe), very impressive on tours & open days, almost a tiny bit smug? Fees approx 30% higher than School A. Approx 30-40min by bus or 25min cycle (but none of us cycles currently and it's hilly...). Tbh the distance is the main thing putting me off and I really don't want to make our days more stressful with a longer school run at primary age. But then also I have heard of Alleyns offer being referred to as a "golden ticket" so want to make the right decision for DS!

I think it depends on how academic-focused you and your family are. There is a clear difference even from reception between the two.

Academics play a role but it's not the most important driver for us when it comes to school choice. We want DS to primarily enjoy his school experience, develop a love of learning, be able to satisfy his curiosity and pursue his interests, learn to apply himself and reach his potential.

He is a curious, outgoing, confident, cheeky, very active boy - bright but coming from a "normal" nursery rather than a pre-prep, hence my surprise at the Alleyns offer.

I guess I am trying to decide if it's silly declining a school that is obviously better on paper just because it's not walking distance but would mean a longer and more stressful school run?

Did you make a decision?

A without a doubt.

The commute you describe to get to B would be enough to decline for me.

That is said purely with practicalities/local cohort of children etc.

Hey, yes we have declined Alleyns offer this morning. I still love the school and attended the offer holders' tour this week but trialled the commute too and it just adds so much time and stress. Plus even the Head said not to underestimate how much more tiring school is for them, even compared to nursery...

We will go with St Dunstans and re look at Alleyns for 7+ or 11+ when DS is old enough to consider him taking the school bus, although conscious competition is even higher than now!

Good luck! I know several families at St Dunstans who are happy. I am sure you will be too

I think you made the right decision. The commute is awful if you have to take them

If your dc is academic you can retry later and they can get there by themselves

That's great to hear! Thank you

Thanks for the reassurance! I had a slight wobble at the offer holder's tour as there were some families from North London who will be moving down or others commuting from SW London. But yes it will be us taking DS to school and we both work FT. We currently walk/scooter 10min to nursery which is lovely. So I am confident that we are making the right decision!

I forgot to say I assume there's no school coach service available?

I think you would've found it mega stressful within a week, that particular journey is a tough one

There is a school coach and we live close to the route but it's only available from Y3. I wouldn't want to put my DS4 on a bus by himself yet!

Fair enough, I'd only do it once that school bus kicks in when he's older

Agree - walking/ cycling to school is a massive advantage for wellbeing. The head at Dulwich prep is very much pro cars - and making it very difficult for people who want to access the school by cargo / bikes/ pt. For me - it rings alarm bells on the ethos school itself. We picked our school on how it was welcoming for young cycling families- and made like minded friends as a result.

Oh the commute from near St Dunstan’s to Alleyn’s is nothing! Loads of families do similar and from further plus commute to work. Don’t let it put you off for the future stages if you choose to try’s again.