@Mumofteenandtween ,
Same as you, went to Cambridge mid 80s.
My friendship group was mixed private and state school, we couldn’t have cared less (except for Etonians who, bizarrely, kept to themselves, braying in ‘their’ corner of the buttery.
I also don’t recognise the intellectual environment. Most evenings we met in upper hall, ate a (dreadful) meal, then retired to the buttery for a pint before going out to a pub, party, event etc. Unless it was exam season, when everything went horribly quiet and everyone went back to their rooms.
Yes, of course, sometimes we discussed earnest matters in one another’s rooms, but mostly it was events coming up, boat club dinners, who was seen with who, notes noticed in others’ pigeon holes and what was going on in a Dallas (which was popular at the time).
Intergenerational mixing hardly happened at all, the odd Vicar’s or master’s gathering once a term being the only exceptions I remember.
I loved my time at Cambridge but more for the friendships I made than the intellectual aspect.