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Private school

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For better behaviour?

2 replies

AnellaA · 15/10/2024 10:36

My ds just entered Y1 in state primary school. He is a sporty, NT, averagely intelligent child. We can afford private school but the state school is a ten minute walk and we have many friends who go there.

My problem is, behaviour. My ds is easily distracted and he is no angel. There is a lot of “low level” disruption and aggression in his Year 1 class. The LA for the school has been “captured” by an education specialist who believes “undesirable behaviours” should only receive mild sanction and prefer to discourage by talking things out and handing out rewards for improved behaviour. Whilst I agree these tactics can help, I also believe in setting crystal clear behavioural boundaries, labelling unacceptable behaviour as such, and giving sanctions for crossing the line into poor behaviour. I want my ds and all the pupils held to account for a minimum standards of behaviour. End of story. And if there is SEN then that STILL cannot be an excuse for punching someone in the face, or dislocating someone’s shoulder when you have a fight in the loos during class time (yes, both happened in my DD’s Y6 class at this school- I fear my son will end up becoming like one of these little thugs and I’m terrified of that future.)

Will I find that in a private school, with a smaller class, the staff don’t tolerate peer-on-peer biting, punching, spitting, kicking, calling people names, ripping up their work, pouring water on their work, poking and irritating, repeatedly using unkind names AT ALL at ANY age? I want a school where this immediate warrants a report to parent and a behaviour sanction eg lose some break time.

I just don’t want my ds growing up in a school where it’s “okay” to mess about a lot or behave horribly or violently.

Overall has private sector become as fluffy as state sector? Where can I find an education provider who requires ALL children to behave and not turn “feral”?

OP posts:
kagurazakamum · 15/10/2024 15:08

This is why I moved my child to private at the end of year 1, from the popular, oversubscribed and supposedly decent state school 5 minutes walk away.
DC was getting odd feedback from teacher in parents’ meetings where the teacher said DC just doesn’t pay attention to the instructions, daydreams and basically that DC lacks focus. It was that typical meeting where teacher suggests having a sight and hearing test, that so many I know went through in a similar fashion.
I just wasn’t happy because the teacher could not bother to have any suggestions on what she’d like to try or what I could do at home to help. Moved to a prep nearby and I never looked back. I am now a firm believer of independent education in the early years. Moreso than the secondary school when at least children have some better control.

DC told me years later, that in that state school there was a boy with SEN who was always given an ipad to watch something while others were working, and at the time DC just couldn’t help getting distracted and looking over. Always with the sound on and loud.

Teaching was much better in the prep, communication with parents, enrichment, building good habits (e.g. writing homework diaries) were things I loved. It was a stretch financially but I never regretted it.

Grapesofmildirritation · 15/10/2024 16:35

Wow, that would be sanctioned to the hilt at any of the private prep schools around me in London (DD’s have been to two and friends have dc at several others).

Some schools even suggested that children leave purely on behavioural grounds (including children with SEN - as it’s a private school they just said they didn’t have the facilities to deal with it). So not only will they sanction low level bad behaviour, if it continues they will “withdraw the offer of a place”.

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