Hi,
I am a very worried mum here seeking for feedback about HHS (but not on academic achievement as there is plenty of review on their success).
We decided to put our DC to HHS as they stated multiple times in our interactions that they value wellbeing of pupils and care to have a nurturing environment despite striving for academic excellence. Yet our child has been visibly distressed and in lower mood since the school has started.
DC tries not to talk about school or daily activities but mentioned a few things that caused concerns here.
If there are parents that could share their experience and how their child reflects on the school looking back I would very much appreciate it. The reason I am after later stage feedback and reflection is I had a horrendous and quite traumatic primary school experience elsewhere but I wasn’t able to articulate well and thought it was normal for years. I only realised how bad it was when I grew older and changed schools..
1- Is there a shaming culture? Heard these from our child: “Classmate Y puts hands in their mouth and the teacher says “don’t do it! Yuck! Disgusting!”. Also “yelled at Classmate Z saying “take your thumb out!”” Most little kids (good or not) do it for self regulation and given school has just started they seem to be vocally shaming children in front of others rather than making their transition smoother. Even my child was stressed witnessing this.
2- Is it inclusive and supportive? “Classmate X is sad and crying a lot so teacher separates X and he sits alone”. When we ask if the teacher supports that child or gives a hug etc, the answer is no and apparently they do it “to give space”
3- “Teacher X was very angry with me and said don’t waste the snack” - warning and modelling is one thing but saying things aggressively under the name of discipline is extreme to me.
4- We are in week 3 of the academic year and our DC doesn’t know phonics fully yet. They gave reading homework of 4 books to complete this week plus requiring additional work on phonics. They want repetition of each material at least two to three times as well. Our child gets so stressed even when we pull out the materials. Is that normal? Can’t learning be more fun?
5- I personally saw a lot of research on bad effects of traditional reward and punishment systems in long-term achievement and well being of individuals. For example, most pupils rewarded with stars or scared to go on cloud etc. turn out to be rat-racers and also people pleasers. I understand HHS is striving for academic excellence and wants to be a successful feeder to other top schools but isn’t there a way to achieve this without abiding by old-fashioned harmful ways? I remember rainbows, sun, cloud or various star methods from 30-40 years ago.
Lastly, if you heard of any nurturing schools that can still achieve good results, please let me know as we will consider those options (4+, 7+ or even 11+).
P.s. due to my personal experience I might be worried more than necessary and DC might settle slowly feeling better in time. But I just thought I should check with other mums.
Thank you very much!