What should you say when you meet an old aquaintance and they announce that their child is moving to your child's old school and "Oh shit" just isn't appropriate.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

? Are you honest and say don't do it due to swearing/bullying/crap head that doesn't think bullying exists or do you just smile?

Think you should tell them - pretty crappy not to don't you think?

Yes. I don't know if this is just ds's experience though. I will talk to her.

Good on you - it takes guts, I know (shooting the messenger and all that) but you are doing the right thing

I'd want to know what sort of cess pit I was sending my child to. Children pretending to deal drugs in the playground/swearing/bullying/boredom/apathetic head isn't a good combination. At least she can make an informed decision knowing about the problems. She could probably tell from the look of horror on my face when she told me to be honest.

You could simply say your child went there but you moved them because you weren't happy but don't go into details.

You could say something like, hope your DC gets on there, we had a few difficulties and decided to go to x school instead.

Then, you've sort of said it in an understated way and left the door open if they want to ask what happened.

Agree - does she know your ds went there, she may find out anyway and wonder why you've not said anything. You could simply say you had a difference of opinion with the head, felt they were unsupportive towards your ds as a result and a better option came up ie. keep it personal to you not a general criticism

I'll try that. Ds ended up seeing a therapist by the time he left the bullying was this bad. I don't think she knows ds went there. I bump into her alot and she's agreed to coffee at some point, I'll arange to meet up and have a chat.

Do tell her, you would have wanted to be told so you could have made different decisions concerning your DS education.

Tell her, she can then make her own informed decision.

but I'd suspect she's committed now - isn't it a private school so she'd have paid a deposit etc ? Just try to keep issues specific to you/your ds and wish hers well with a few positives if you can manage it.

It's not a private school, ds was only there for a term and a half as there were multiple problems, I did ask a few of the other parents about bullying etc but they said there were no problems, ds's experiences and feedback on a school review site tells me otherwise though. I know that bullying happens in most schools, if the head refuses to acknowledge it and blames the victim for any problems then it's a lost cause.

I think I'll just tell her that ds was only there for a very short time as there were bullying issues that were not addressed properly and leave it at that. If she wants to know more then I will tell her. The infant children are kept away from the older ones so I don't think that her child will have the same problems, the head's attitude is alot harder to solve though.

oh ok , my mistake

I would tell her that yr son went there (if she doesn't know) but you had to move him, as mrz says.

Mind you, yr DS went to the school that my DS2 is leaving this summer and we are all very very sad he is going (except that of course he needs to move up to yr 3! ). Sorry that yr DS did not get on well there but there are two sides to every story.

I don't have direct experience of the school you are talking about but I do know many people whose DC go there and AFAIK they are happy on the whole.

But still, I do think it is worth telling your friend your concerns. Why is she moving her son? Is she unhappy with his current school?

All you can say is about your ds's experience. She will no doubt form her own opinion.

When I looked at schools for ds I had my mind set for a particular school where a number of friends had sent theirs. When I visited I couldn't stand it, for a number of reasons. I have never told my friends what I thought but I was very surprised that they were so happy with it. I have since met a number of parents who decided against that school for the same reasons as me however my friends with children there continue to be happy with the school.

Thankyou, sorry I've only just got back to this.
Her child's just starting in reception. It is my experience, I did ask other parents what they thought of the school and no one mentioned any problems, I did overhear the head argue with a parent in the playground though so I don't think everyone's happy.