Oh no, not happy with new school....WWYD?

[Sallyssss]

My daughter moved schools (as we moved house) a month ago. The school seems ok, but I have heard parents swearing at their kids in the play ground. I have also seen kids swearing too (5-6 yr olds).

WWYD? Put up with it? Move schools (we can afford private). Am I worrying over nothing?

well it is not great but I don't know really. How is the school otherwise?

OK, I don't think brilliant (although I may have high expectations, it has "outstanding" ofsted). I think she is learning - although difficult to say as she hardly talks about what she has done during the day. She does seem happy enough.

did the other school match up to your expectations better or is it just the swearing that is concerning you atm?

Yes, the last school definitely did. I never saw any of this sort of thing.

isthe old school too far away? Could you send her back there?

Yes, unfortunately so.

you have to keep an eye on it and see what you can and cannot live with. If she is happy, it is convenient, you likethe teacher and you are confident that she is being well taught and making good progress, you would need to weigh up private schooling. Longer term it is a considerable investment and you could use the same amount of money to go towards higher education/training or towards getting her started on a mortgage one day IYSWIM.

Depnds how strongly you feel about it, might be worth finding out more about your current school first and of course looking around at other possilities, never harms to be well informed before you make any decision IYSWIM

When they get to secondary, I am afraid they all learn to swear effectively enough whether ornot they get sworn at by their parents

I think Ofsted report is an indicator, nothing more, and it doesn't always match up with your own perceptions. Since she has only been there a month, I'd be prepared to wait and see but can you ask around locally much - have you made many friends yet who might be able to give you insider information?

I would wait and see, but keep a close eye on what's going on etc. If you are not happy and you can afford it, then go private. However, I will warn you that my DS (4) is at a private school and I have heard the dad of another 4yo saying 2 sentences, both of which contained swear words!

Hmm I had this with a school I sent ds's in years 2 and 4. I was uneasy but wary I might be being a bit precious. However, After my 6 year old got called a 'fucking idiot' by the father of anither boy when my sons slipped on ice and almost fell into this man walking into school, I decided I did not want my child being sworn at like that and informed head of my concerns. Other things happened within the next 6 months and I finally decided I didnt care if I was beinf [recious as I was not comfortable with my children there and moved them.

Thank you for replying. I don't want to be snobby but I am not getting a good feel from the school right now. I really don't want to move her, so I guess I am going to have to see what happens.

I'd ask the school what their policy/approach is for dealing with swearing in class.
They won't really be able to control what children and parents say outside of school, but if they have a zero-tolerance approach in school then they may be able to reassure you.

Actually, I disagree piprabbit. If the parents are swearing in the playground then I think teachers on duty should approach them and tell them very firmly that that language is not tolerated on school property and they will be asked to leave the premises if it happens again.

The children used to swear at ds's old private school. I sat outside and heard them myself, then I asked ds to go inside and tell a teacher, he was told to tell me to stop being so fussy. I moved him.

Sorry lalalonglegs, I wasn't clear. I meant outside school premises, not in the playground.

I agree the school should tackle this firmly. However at our school, the teachers do not mingle with parents in the playground (they stay by the classroom doors talking to parents with queries), so would be unlikely to overhear swearing by parents.

I think my point stands that the OP needs to bring this to the school's attention as she is concerned.

Sally, You are doing the right thing. 1 month is a short time, wait to see how yor DC does on the educational/friendship side of things. Parents swearing could be 1 bad point agaist 10 good point.

I remember overhearing a swearing competition between my ds and his mates - "what's the worst swearword you know?" They were about 7 at the time. The worst words by far came from the two who attended private schools (including the c-word).

It happens everywhere. You need a bigger reason, imo, to change schools.

I know swearing happens everywhere, but it's the general feel of the school. I saw a parent really shout Abd swear at a teacher, if truth be told it seems rough. Oh rubbish! Think we have messed up

DS goes to what's often described as a pretty rough school, but they handle it well. Nobody's allowed to swear - parents or kids. I know the head banned one parent from the premises as her behaviour was deemed unacceptable, so if your school's different I'd make a meeting with the head and say you find it unacceptable.
In terms of moving her though, honestly I'd wait a while and see how your dd gets on. Can you spend a bit of time in the classroom maybe and see what the atmosphere/ ethos is like, as that might reassure you. Also if she's happy, surely that's a really good sign. Rough parents doesn't have to mean bad school imo.

I wasn't happy with the children swearing at ds's old school, it was part of the reason why I moved him. He did know that he should never repeat a word he had been told/over heard at school, he could come and ask me though and I would explain what it means. I was surprised with some of the words he asked about, I was also surprised that he was the one who was in trouble for swearing when he had clearly heard the words off other children in the school. There's no swearing at his current school.

Som eof the poshest people I know swaer like sailors...doesn't bothe me remotely...however, if it bothers you and you are in a position t do something about it, then of course, you should.

My concerns over ds's school were ongoing and included a horrible nativity where a 'father' said 'Get out the f*cking way teacher' as a teacher was settling the year 1 children in place. It was horrible. Other parents looked uneasy but the teacher hadnt heard (think the man had said it loudly but not directly to the teacher iyswim) and afterwards a couple of other parents who had heard agreed that they thougt it best not to have said anything atthe time as the man would no doubt have kicked off causing more upset in front of all teh children (who were reception to year 3) The general feeling of the school was horrible. I truely hated it. There were a group of mothers who would stand in teh playground and loudly regale eachother with tales f fights they had been in using every swear word under the sun. The head was out of her depth but refused to admit it.

Even the governors sent a letter out warning that parents heard swearing on school grounds would be asked to leave. It all culminated with one father going up to a year 5 bot stood outside school one afternoon and squaring up to him an inch from the child face and threatening him with calling his son fat. The father had the wrong boy and ironically his own sons were known as the bullies of the school anyway! God, it was awful. And this school has recently had a 'good' ofsted report and was not in a particularly 'rough' part of town - just a wide catchment with, as the head said, a 'diverse' catchment. Interestingly, even though the school got a good ofsted (everyone amazed!) the head who has only been there 18 months has quit and the deputy who only joined a year before the head is off to.

I am so glad I moved my children. They had started off in a good school (first school)and I had no idea how bad some schools could be. I felt hugely sorry for the staff and what they dealt with on a daily basis. Huge admiration for them, but I simply felt very uneasy and unhappy and even felt I was doing my children a disservice by sending them there.

FWIW I went to a private school for 5 years and yes, almost everyone from all backgrounds swear. The difference is there is a time and a place, and the school playground imo is not the place to start loudly swearing and showing off about fights you had at the weekend. It's about having some social dignities and many of these parents appeared to think this behaviour perfectly acceptable and therefore it was quite worrying the lack of respect they had for the teachers and the school as a community. Not a nice situation at all.

Thank you all for replying. I actually went in and had a chat with the headteacher, who was very kind and understood my concerns. I didn't feel much would be done, but at least I feel the teachers are aware of it.

I am going to see how it goes and if it carries on we will move her. I did not realise there was such a rough diverse catchment, and I am just not prepared to feel so uneasy about my child's education. I guess it's just a wait and see as I really don't want to move her.

sallyssss, so glad you spoke to the head. At least you will now know how ineffectively the school are handling this issue and can make a proper decision once you have had time to get a real feel for the school.

I really hope that whatever you decide works out well for your DD.

I feel for you Sallyssss. Good luck