Lively boys in reception - please tell me to get a grip.

[fruitstick]

I'm worried about DS1 starting school in september.

He is a lovely, clever little boy (very articulate, confidant) and he is also very active and full of energy.

I've just had his parent consultation with his preschool teacher about his move up to reception. There are 2 classes and he has been split up from his closest friends (they have all stayed in the same class). His teacher says that this is deliberate as they wind each other up and distract each other (I suspected this would happen). She also said his main problem is concentration as he always wants to be doing what somebody else is doing. He hates drawing, writing, all of that sitting down stuff.

Also, the more tired he gets the more hyperactive he gets and is even less capable of sitting still and concentrating.

I know, I know that all of this is normal little boy stuff and that he will be fine but I'm worrying about it already.

FFS if I worry about his pre-school consultation what am I going to be like as he goes through school

I really don't want him to be labelled as disruptive or naughty, and I also don't want him to dislike school. I loved school and was never in trouble - I'm just not prepared for a mischief maker.

I can't believe he's a bad influence

Please come and slap me with anything you have to hand and give me some perspective here people!

Is the pre-school quite formal?

No not really, and the teacher was really not being critical. I think it's just my reaction to it!

Is the pre school attached to his new reception class or will it be a fresh start with staff who understand small children?

my son is like this, he is interested and articulate, but has a very sparky friend who he just adores and whose lead he follows. ds would follow this boy off a cliff (or into a road). His friend is lovely but I would be delighted if they were not together in school as ds is just so easily led astray, and doesn't do himself justice. No matter how much he says he will do his own thing, the other boy's lure is too much (have nothing against the friend, he is lovely but just very spirited!)

I wouldn't worry about it - it will probably work out best for your ds as he will be able to focus and concentrate rather than be led astray. I know it's early days but it's good to get him having a foundation in how to listen and concentrate now. IMHO!

Yes the pre-school is attached and he has been very happy at the school so far. I expected him to be split up from his best friend as they encourage each other, but it's the fact that ALL of his closest friends are in the other class.

I'm actually really pleased with the school so don't have any complaints about the staff or the school.

I think it's more about the transition from pre-school to proper school for DS1 that's worrying me.

They didn't say he was a bad influence, I've just taken it to heart. She did also say that he was a strong, enthusiastic character and every class wants someone like him so they are not down on him at all.

I just worry that he will get disheartened.

Belleville, I suspect DS is the one doing the leading

I think I do seriously need some help. I cried all the way home from school this morning.

DS1 is abolutely fine but I'm going to turn him into a nervous wreck if I don't sort myself out

Your little boy sounds lovely and alot like mine! Please don't read too much in to how the classes have been split. They will have your ds's best interests in mind as well. As long as he is enthusiastic about going to school that is all you need to worry about at this stage. The school will be well used to children starting reception who don't like sitting still and this time should be a gradual introduction to help them get ready for the more formal learning in Y1 (Still alot of play in Y1 though as well!). Be proud of your Son and the skills he is really good at and continue setting him a good example with how to behave and listen. 99% of the reception children I have met are so keen to please their teachers and get their rewards - stickers, star of the day, golden time that they soon stick to the school rules.

Ok, calm down, please, it's all OK.

He's not a trouble maker, he's a normal little boy, teachers are used to dealing with children like this all the time, there are other boys in the class like this, because every infant class has lively boys who find it difficult to concenrate and who don't want to sit down and do pen/paper type tasks.

Infant tecahers know this, they know it's normal, it's part of their every day working day and their aim is to move these chidren towards greater concentration and more on task behaviour, because that's their job.

It sounds like one senssible strategy they are using is splitting up all the similar boys who make it more difficult for each other to focus. Fine. Good idea.

She has probably said the same thing she said to you to a number of other parents, and will say the same sort of things evry year.

They obviously see really good things in him too, but they are just being honest about how is at the moment, which is normal.

You must stay positive about him too, don't work yourself up into thiking he's a 'bad' child. he may be different from how you were, but notice all the good qualities and accept that he doesn't have to be, amd probably won't be, like you.

Were you one of those girld who sat quietly drawing and when older colour coded all your work?

brideshead I was like that ! and that's not good for anyone.

and breathe

Thank you, you have all made me feel much calmer.

I thought I'd grown out of all the PFBness but obviously not

Yes, well in that case he probably isn't going to be like you.

At least not in the 'predisposed to put extra and beyond required effort into making his work look lovely just to please the teacher' type way .

So I'd prepare yourself for that, and get over it now.

He does sound lovely though, and I'm sure he'll do well and the teachers will enjoy him even if he is making them work for their money!